@truthandpeace Having dealt with this for the past 14 months since my son was born and now with another on the way, I'm telling you right now.... STOP CATERING TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT OR EXPECT. My in-laws live 5 hours away. They split since our baby was born. My FIL always says things about when is his grandson coming to visit? This man does NOTHING. he has no job, no responsibilities, zilch, yet in his mind we need to travel to him. The times that we have, he has been zero help. Like cannot feed the baby a bottle while I go take a shower. Is more concerned about calling his sister on FaceTime to show her baby than watching baby. Randomly inviting people I don't know to come meet my baby. MIL on the other hand has been down here numerous times since baby has been born. She would literally wipe my ass and breastfeed my child if she could. She cooks, she cleans, she tries so hard to make our lives easier and give us a break.
Having a baby is hard..no baby is the same and the stress and anxiety is a lot sometimes. The people you need around you are the ones who will help you out, not make your life harder or guilt you into facilitating a relationship with your child and them.
Also just want to add my parents are grandparents of the century. They live close and are always there, willing, and offering to help us out. My son adores them. Of course their physical closeness is a bonus, but when it comes to a child, picking up the phone, video chatting, asking to see the child in some form or fashion goes a long way to the parents and the child.