@reddog44 That was my thought. I’ll admit I’m definitely more paranoid than most with that sort of thing (which is definitely why I suggested coming here for a second opinion) but even with knowing anything that would/could happen is more likely to actually not be from a stranger, the situation still sent of big red flags waving for me.
@trandraskell I would not let a stranger watch my baby. Maybe if it was the clinic’s staff. But goddamn I have not lived through this pandemic to have some stranger give my child their germs. In any case, my kid would have thrown a fit at a stranger holding her without me in sight when she was a baby.
Like, I think the “village” makes sense when it’s people who are accountable to you and your community somehow. Like neighbours or people from the same church or people who work at the office you’re at or something - if they did something weird, others would hold them accountable.
Like, if you think of shows like Call the Midwife, you get a bunch of people in a room and half of them know each other at least tangentially.
@trandraskell Yeah no J was in the right. There is no way I'd let a stranger take my baby. Chances she was going to do something nefarious was probably low, but that is never a risk I would be willing to take.
@trandraskell No, I would not let a stranger watch my child. I had a similar situation while out at dinner. This woman sitting at the table next to us sparked up a friendly conversation that eventually led to her asking if she could hold my baby. I politely declined and I didn’t feel bad. People are weird! Protect your children.
@trandraskell Absolutely not. And let me tell you a little story.
About 3 months ago I was at Home Depot with my 3 year old. He was riding in the kid seat of the cart. We got back to our car and I was putting our items into the car while he was still in the cart. This older person approached me and said “can I ask you a question?”. I hate making small talk with strangers so I kind of glanced up and then continued what I was doing and said sure quietly hoping they’d walk away. So then this person says
“Do you watch any crime shows? Because your son is so pretty like the kids on those shows who get abducted.”
Now at this point, I am FREAKED the fuck out. I’m grabbing my son out of the cart and pushing past this person to get him into the car.
My point is, you can NEVER be too careful. The people who are going to do something like this are not going to be shy. It probably would be the “helpful” person who offers to hold your baby. The world is not like it used to be. It’s a scary fucking place. Never take your eyes off your child in public. Ever.
@manoah Yeah I’ve started to just be rude to strangers. I don’t owe them anything. Can I ask you a question? “No.” People like that don’t expect you to push back on them asserting themselves over you. What a fucking creep, I’m sorry.
@ntokila That’s a really good route to take. I need to teach myself to be more assertive. I’ve always been a bit of a nice girl, which I’m working on fixing. No one is owed any info about our children
@trandraskell Absolutely not. No stranger has the rights to touch my baby or to be offended that I won’t just leave my baby with them. If your friend was getting the weird vibes she should trust that and walk away. Better safe than sorry.
@trandraskell Took my son into the restroom at Barnes & Noble because he needed a diaper change when he was about 1.5. My kid has sensory processing disorder, and hated diaper changes so he wasn't exactly being quiet. Some random lady comes in and shouts "do you need help? I can help you."
Uhhh... no. I definitely do not need your help changing my kids diaper, random stranger.
@bgw Ugh I hate this. I don’t even like when someone at home helps with a diaper change. It’s not rocket science. More than one person doing it just makes it harder because I have my own process. I don’t need you to hand me the wipes at the wrong time and distract me or try to take the diaper before I’m done with the wiping lol I’m getting annoyed just thinking about it.
@kathypdoe In this instance my kid was being loud and obviously did not sound happy (speech delayed, wasnt saying actual words at this age, not even "no") and I was trying to explain in toddler terms what I was trying to do. Even if this person was only offering to help distract, still don't want some stranger right there when I'm distracted.
I have had times where help from my husband on distraction duty is appreciated. Kid hates diaper changes, so much so that I end up using both legs to hold him down. I imagine it looks a lot like the videos of wrestling an alligator.
