“mY kId iS sUcH a PiCkY eAtEr”

[syncakes]

….proceeds to list the 45 foods her kid will happily eat at every meal, but just won’t finish the last few bites.

MEANWHILE, my child literally has 5 “real” foods he will eat and the rest of his nutrition comes from Serenity pouches because I don’t want him to starve.

“Offer a variety.”
“Let him play with it.”
“Make it fun!”

There is NOTHING FUN ABOUT FEEDING THIS 18 month old who apparently hates FOOD AND SLEEP and FOR SOME REASON we’ve made the super AWESOME choice to do this again starting in September because we apparently HATE OURSELVES.

thank you for listening. It’s been a very long, very sleep deprived, very stressful night. I’m tired and angry and sad, and when I saw a mom basically humble bragging about all the shit her kid (same age as mine) eats, it was just the final straw for me.

 

[sofa24h]

@syncakes My four year old constantly asks us how many bites of food she needs to eat so she can be done.

Even food like PIZZA. WTAF.

"all kids love buttered noodles" NOT MY KID.

"just cut them up a variety of food like peppers and carrots and cucumbers" LOLOLOL

Solidarity, bromo.

 

[hallooooooooo]

@sofa24h Omfg my son too. I hate the bite math!

 

[tiffanyt]

@syncakes My youngest son is 12 now. He will still only eat fruit, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, some brands of pizza, some brands of chicken nuggets, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. (And junk food, of course!) I figure it is a texture or sensory thing (he has autism) for him. I still remember the time I had him try one Mac and cheese noodle when he was maybe 5 or 6, and he threw it up immediately after gagging on it. I make sure he gets a multi vitamin most of the time, but he's fine. It gets exhausting, especially when the store is out of the one brand of nuggets he likes, but for the most part, I don't worry too much. I have no shame in bringing him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if we go out to eat and I know he won't eat what's on the menu. Plus, it makes deciding what's for dinner a little easier when there are only two things he wants. Good luck, keep trying, and the most important thing of all, try not to compare your kids to anyone else because you will drive yourself crazy! Good luck, I hope it gets easier for you!

 

[annaad0617]

@tiffanyt My son is very similar and again, texture issues. Feeding him as a toddler was a true nightmare. I felt so much shame when my SIL would rub her kids great eating in my face while mine ate only tortilla chips at the restaurant.

As a 10 year old, he still has a limited palate but he just tried guac the other day and loved it! Something that would have never happened a few years ago. He’s lean, healthy, and athletic now and I have no worries other than chasing him around reminding him to brush his teeth after soda.

It DOES get better. It doesn’t make it suck any less now. Hang in there… it WILL get easier. My daughter is 19 months now (yes, a 9 year age gap, I know, I know) and will generally try whatever we put in front of her. It’s not YOU. Children are emotional terrorists.

 

[imogenefromnewzealand]

@tiffanyt My kid will eat boxed Mac and cheese, fruit, fries, jelly sandwiches (hates peanut butter), salmon, fruit, yogurt, sliced ham, cheesebread (not pizza because he’s anti sauce), pancakes, goldfish and toast. But they all have to be presented the right way or he won’t eat. They had applesauce packets and lucky charms at preschool for a st Patrick’s day treat but my kid ate none of it

 

[heartonfire416]

@tiffanyt My son is also autistic and can make himself vomit on demand basically. If I do the “just one bite” coaxing I might be cleaning up barf. So he eats what he wants!

 

[aquateamv3]

@syncakes So... not saying your little guy is autistic, but my daughter quit eating around that age, and never really slept.

Regardless of the underlying cause, if it persists its called ARFID, and takes Occupational therapy.

I spent 3 years doing "food science" food exposure that was fun, sensory bins with dried and wet foods that were completely just for play and experience.

She finally got diagnosed at 5, and now at almost 8, we're able to get therapy for her.

Right now she eats chicken strips/nuggets only from very specific places, premium plus crackers that are salted, goldfish, pretzels, one type of smoothie, two types of pouch, and candy. Oh and gummy vitamins.

I've had some really horrible things said to me about it, and I've had to explain she has a disability and educate a few people, but even then, if they're not feeding her, it's not their problem.

I dont have a lot of advice, make sure he's got his safe foods, and I hope you're in a place where you can access some feeding therapy.

As you and your son move forward in his eating struggles, try not to compare your experience to other people, for your sake and his.

There often is sensory components to arfid, as well as a deep seated fear of inconsistencies in the food, and there's a lot of resources on what that all means.

Big hugs mama you're doing great.

 

[zohmingliani]

@syncakes This thread is making me realize I would have been diagnosed with AFRID if it had been a thing in the 80’s. I am grateful to my parents for rolling with it as best they can. It took me until college to develop a palate but now I eat lots of foods (I still hate some).

 

[ailidas003]

@zohmingliani This whole thread has made me realise the same thing. My parents were not so patient, I just remember never being hungry but the texture of foods would give me such big feelings that I could never describe.
I’m 46 now and still have rules, but eat so so much better than I ever used to

 

[czertique]

@zohmingliani Literally the same thing went through my mind reading these comments. For YEARS I would only eat certain things and also had to be a certain way otherwise I’d barf apparently. I’m am adult and STILL strongly dislike certain textures of foods, but my palate had expanded enormously and you wouldn’t know I ever went through this as a child! Both of my kids are very picky and I literally try my best to also roll with it as to not cause unnecessary trauma with food. You want to eat cheese and apples all day today? Guess that’s what’s happening, hahaa.

 

[hopelesslyhopeful]

@katrina2017 My 5yo randomly declared he hates broccoli and always has. Which... yeah he has maybe 4 things he eats since he's 3, but before that he ate everything. I actually found a video of him eating broccoli, smiling widely while eating.

I showed him the video and he was baffled. He declared that he'll eat broccoli again when he's six. He made a similar promise with diapers and stopped wearing them on his birthday as promised, so hopefully it'll come true.

 

[redeemed20300]

@syncakes Hates food and sleep made me laugh so much. But, so many hugs. That’s exhausting.

Insofar as they’re physically safe - it’s ok to give up control to your toddler. You have shit to do. My #1 picky eater hack? Fucking roll with it.

Also - put it on a rectangular plate. It’s not goldfish and cheese, it’s a cheese plate, it’s charcuterie. It’s FANCY. Sometimes the cheese is in the middle, sometimes the fish are in a line. Maybe I’ll add a garnish!

And pouches work??? F yeah. You golden.

 

[nathaliaines]

@syncakes My daughter has ALWAYS been picky. Like beyond picky. When she was a baby she refused baby food bc of the texture. Went on hunger strikes if we don’t give her what she will eat, she never caved.

Now at 4, she has about 4/5 foods in her rotation at all times. Chicken nuggets , chicken noodle soup, spaghetti, sometimes rice & chicken. Some weeks she hates what she liked the week before. Nothing healthy. Won’t eat smoothies or yogurt, fruits & veggies are a no. It’s the worst.

My first was a great eater and at the time I thought he was a little picky, turns out I had no idea what truly picky was.

I feel you so hard. It’s awful

 

[katrina2017]

@syncakes YES!!!! Uhg thank you for sharing because now I feel less alone.

My kiddo is also 18 months and will legit only eat waffles , dry cereal, cheese and chicken fingers.

He will still eat ANY purée but hates everything else.

We’re going to a speech specialist but the waiting list is forever. Very tired of the “offer variety!!” And “let him play with it!!” Speeches.

 

[forgiven1g]

@syncakes My 19yo is diagnosed with both ADHD and ARFID. As others have mentioned, a lot of it is texture issues.

ARFID stands for avoidant - restrictive food intake disorder. It's an eating disorder, but its defining characteristic is that it is not based on a desire to lose weight. Instead, it is based on how the foods taste, smell, and feel. She has had it since she was very, very young, but it wasn't something we really knew was a thing until recently.

I'm here to tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. She is still a very picky eater, but she has been slowly expanding her palate over the past few years. And most importantly, she is willing to try new foods. I think the change has to do with both a) getting older and b) NO PRESSURE. As soon as I learned more about her ED, I immediately stopped pressing her to eat or even taste foods. I stocked up on the things she would eat, particularly the ones with important nutrients and calories, and left it at that.

One thing to know, especially if your child may be neurodivergent (likely), is that their safe foods will change unexpectedly. One day they love these pouches, the next day they refuse them. Have a few options as backup plans. Mine loved ensure drinks for several years, you could try those. Pediasure is also great. Smoothies. Basically anything you can get that has the nutrients your child needs but is the exact same taste and texture every single time.

Good luck, you're doing great!

 

[onetruechurch4]

@syncakes Hi! My 5 year old is a true picky eater. Mostly processed bullshit for his 5 “real foods” and will eat most berries.

His younger sister does not have this problem, eats great. It’s so frustrating and nerve wracking having a picky kid, but it doesn’t mean the second will be too.

Idk if the picky eating will get better, sometimes it does. But just remember as long as the kid is staying on their growth curve a multivitamin and breakfast essentials added to milk go a long way in making sure they get their required levels of things.

 

[jharekcarnelian]

@syncakes As a mom who woke up early to make St. Patrick’s day chocolate chip pancakes for her elementary schooler, only to have her toddler refuse to eat them because they’re gasp GREEN(!!!!), i feel you.

I joke that my littlest has charcuterie board taste—fruits, crackers, cheese, and cured meats. Oh! But only the shredded cheese from Costco, and only salami and breakfast sausage, and if her strawberries aren’t red enough? Forget about it!

It’s astounding. Infuriating. Frustrating. Solidarity, bromo. We’ll get through this!

P.S. my first kiddo ate everything under the fucking sun and slept through the night from 7 weeks on, so fingers crossed Baby #2 gives you a well deserved break!

 

[katrina2017]

@syncakes I have one picky eater and three “normal” eaters. I encourage her to try new things but try not to stress too much.

As a child of the nineties I lived on pop tarts, luncheables, and frozen dinners. If my daughter’s nutrients come from unconventional sources (fortified cereal, smoothies, etc.) I consider that the best I can do for her.

 

[migu42]

@syncakes Ok, twin mom here. B/g twins …

My daughter will eat everything under the sun. My son, however is picky AF and is a vegetarian only bc he cannot stand the texture of meat. He used to gag and cry with every new food. The twins are now 5 but we have done feeding therapy for my son and he’s just a stubborn one. I’ve decided that it is what it is. He’s a very small boy but we have visited an endocrinologist to check his growth and she basically reassured us that no, it has nothing to do w his food intake.
I’m just like “whatever” at this point. If he wants to eat peanut butter and rice cakes at every meal w a cup of milk, so be it.