@curiousgirl98 What is your system for taking time for yourself? I second your sentiments but I am burnt out and more than an intermittent in-office schedule I can’t wait to feel like I can confidently take my baby to daycare a few days a week. Also, that’s very exciting you may be moving abroad!
@tomjono6 My husband and I both like to work out and it's important to us. We discuss our schedules every night and prioritize the day based on who has what. I need to work out before 9am most days and do that while he watches our son. At night after our son goes to bed we decide if we're going to hang with each other or just get alone time. On the weekends, we have Saturday game nights and Sunday movie nights together and let each other have a 1-2 hour block during the day to nap, watch TV, read a book, etc. We realize that this thing is hard and we each need space so try to give it to each other.
@curiousgirl98 This sounds so much like my hubby and I. We’re doing okay, we work our together or take turns going on runs, have movie nights, ect but your idea of implementing an hour or so for each to nap sounds amazing. I think part of my downfall is taking the time to have alone time when I need it. It’s been really hard this quarantine with no where to go for mommy time.
@tomjono6 Last weekend I took an hour to pickup some lunch for us but on the way got a coffee from my favorite place and called my best friend. Walked around for fifteen minutes. Total time was an hour but it felt amazing.
@curiousgirl98 We’re doing this too but it’s hell right now. Both kids are so active and it’s nearly impossible to keep them entertained without going to parks, the library, out for lunch, etc, since it’s all a risk. No end in sight where I am and it’s rough. I’m giving up both kids spots though to start school (private), and I don’t know if they’ll find a spot when/if this all lets up. Not fun. Feels like no choice is a good choice.
@rachele14 Yes, yes, yes. I'm already back in the office 2 days/week because fully remote was horrible for me. Only 10 people are allowed in on each day, so those of us who want to or need to be there are all spread out. 3 days at work and 2 days at home would be perfect for me with the ability to work remotely if/when the kids are sick (I wouldn't anticipate a full day's work on those days, but it would be nice to be able to get a little bit done).
@rachele14 Personally, I want full time remote work after the pandemic.
It is easier and better for me to have the same schedule with my daughter every day and I prefer the schedule where I get to see her for a good chunk of time in the morning and another good chunk in the evening. It is also less obvious when I am keeping her home sick if I am already remote.
But the biggest reason I love 100% remote is for the location independence. I'm sure the vast majority of women in this sub are part of dual-earner households (or they are single parents). The sad reality is that it is far more likely that I will need to quit my job to accommodate my husband's career moves than vice versa. It has already happened twice. I would strongly prefer the ability to stay with a company I like and keep gaining experience or change to a different job in my field when it benefits me without my husband's job getting in the way.
I'm a software engineer and while I am really happy at my current company, I will be looking specifically for a remote first company in my next position.
@ajarrett I’ve worked fully remotely for four years as a software engineer, and I would really struggle to go back into an office. Having the location flexibility is so helpful - we’re about to move states, and that it was even an option for us without having to coordinate more than a few days off of work is amazing. My husband currently works very part time and is mostly doing childcare, but he’ll find something more and we’ll get some part time childcare support when the world opens up again. The work-life flexibility is huge too... as well as that we’re mostly remote and set up for it, so all of us at home are in the same boat.
@ajarrett I know some people that work at Acumen Solutions that are mostly remote but prefer that their employees are in certain metros. However their model is such that it's not required. They basically contract out to other companies but are paid a stable salary by Acumen with benefits. What is your husband doing in his career? I'm mainly asking because yours could be quite lucrative as well. I'm an engineer as well, though perhaps in a different vein, and considered the breadwinner. My husband stepped down his hours and accommodates my commute even though I WFH most of the week. He'll be looking remote as well next job.
@deelo00 He’s a physician and trying to get his career started in academia so he has very low location flexibility at this point (and he out earns me). I’m hoping we can get to a more even footing eventually (and it isn’t horrible right now by any means). But that’s my reality for now.
@ajarrett I totally understand that. I'm surrounded by academics and made the hard decision to stop at my master's degree because I'm very tied to our current location. Within 150mi of grandparents and by the water. I knew how unlikely that would be if I went the academic route like another couple of family members, one of which is still stuck half a country away with his family and a year away from any hope of returning closer to us. If location didn't matter then I'd be all about it but it just mattered too much. I wish you luck with your career and reaching that even footing.
And just to note, my partner would also like this flexibility. And the thing is when I am NOT given opportunities and promotions, flexible work arrangements, it significantly impacts my partner. They would like to stay home with the child more than I do but instead they shoulders the burden of being the sole breadwinner. Its a lose, lose.
@jimbobby2021 I think this pandemic has shown employers--at least those that are listening--that career and family balance affects their employee's partners (and relationships) as well. My husband told his boss that he needed more flexible hours or I was going to have to give up having a career right now and that would cause some problems.
@blessingsabundance I'm glad you said "and my partner" because I do think this offers more equality in terms of the childcare-home tasks-professional workload.
