It’s been a rough week so I gotta just rant for a second. I have a 3 and 6 year old. Both my husband and I work full time. By the time everybody gets home on the week-days, I have to make dinner. When dinner is over, we begin what is the massive shitshow of our bedtime routine. We then get about 1 hour to lounge on the couch, but that also means no cleaning gets done. The weekends feel like a blink because all I do is try to catch up around the house from the week in addition to extracurricular activities for my kids and trying to do stuff to entertain them. By the time it’s Sunday night I haven't had a second to even collect myself. I am not by any means saying I am unique here, but it’s just insane to me that this is just part of being a working parent. OH and don’t forget to give EACH kid at least 15 minutes of complete undivided attention everyday. And remember that while you try to get shit done around the house, your kid should only have X amount of screen time. And don’t forget to practice gentle parenting, where you are told to be the epitome of emotional regulation despite constantly being overwhelmed and overstimulated. And of course remember to pRaCtIcE SeLf CaRe. And my all time favorite…. To cherish these moments because they GrOw Up sO fAsT. Like seriously what planet are we living on? I also have celiac disease and am being tested for adult onset type 1 diabetes, so I have to essentially make all of my own food. Anyways, sorry for the rant. I love my kids to the ends of the earth, but I feel like the expectations of parenting in our society completely sets us up to feel like failures. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
Working parent rant
- Thread starter artg
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- vent working moms
middlemind
New member
@artg It is so hard and so busy! I won’t bore you with all the fast clean, house cleaner, meal prep, crock pot, get up an hour earlier ideas because I’m sure we’ve all googled this crap a million times. It makes me think of that meme that says the only real parenting hack is to live near helpful grandparents. Personally, we don’t have that and I won’t give up my tiny slice of lounge time each day. All we can do is our best, or something close. No way to keep with everything all the time for sure.
abraham7777
New member
@middlemind I was also recently told that best parenting hack is to have helpful grandparents nearby; I soooo wish we had that. It’s one of the main reasons I’m not having a second kid. The only people I know with two or more kids have a nearby helpful family or the ability to hire good reliable domestic help.
anamichele07
New member
@abraham7777 I can’t agree more. We’re just not made to do this with two people only (and I don’t know how single parents do it. At all.) My mom lives 800 miles away but thankfully she’s retired so she can fly in pretty regularly. Every time she’s here I can’t believe how much help it is having another set of hands. It’s insane how much easier the days are.
kaitlinrose
New member
@anamichele07 Single mom- would be impossible without my parents.
despondent
New member
@anamichele07 Single people coparent and have family and friends just like anyone else.
I read rants like this, and it's interesting. I'm doing better than OP because I have a great coparent, friends and family. It's weird that people assume single means parenting without any support. It doesn't. I see a lot more married couples doing it without support because that's the expectation of nuclear families, I guess, but the nuclear family without extended family or friends doesn't work.
I read rants like this, and it's interesting. I'm doing better than OP because I have a great coparent, friends and family. It's weird that people assume single means parenting without any support. It doesn't. I see a lot more married couples doing it without support because that's the expectation of nuclear families, I guess, but the nuclear family without extended family or friends doesn't work.
@despondent So am I not allowed to call myself a single parent, since I have no co-parent or family to chip in? I agree we can't assume "single parent" means solo parent, but it's definitely not exclusive of solo parents, is it? Not trying to make an issue of it, but it's odd to me that you led with something that's been flat out untrue for me, as a single parent.
@abraham7777 My parents are down the road and I still don't want a second 
thecross22
New member
@abraham7777 We have that, and all 3 grandparents work so they don’t have time to babysit.
jamesmason10
New member
@abraham7777 Yes, i only have one and it was one of the main reasons. I do have a friend with three and they don't have family help or much money. Her husband is super disciplined and organised though which helps a lot.
paulbassett
New member
@abraham7777 I have helpful grandparents nearby, but let me tell you, asking for help is loaded and I feel guilty about it. My mom still works, and my dad just got diagnosed with cancer. So, I don't take advantage very often.
My sister on the other hand has no problem foisting her kid off on my parents. And my parents claim to be happy to do it.
My sister on the other hand has no problem foisting her kid off on my parents. And my parents claim to be happy to do it.
@middlemind We were so lucky when my mom watched my son 3 days a week. She would clean during his naps and also prepped dinners for the whole family. Usually enough for 2 nights. Sadly, that era is over and we are scrambling, but have decided to hire a house cleaner.
thedudeman1990
New member
@middlemind We have both sets of grandparents here. The cons are they live with us permanently and we are their retirement plan so it costs a lot more than day care.
@middlemind We live near my parents and life is still crazy, but its a huge help. I've told my husband this a million times and he doesn't appreciate how different life would be (he wants to move to a different state where we would have little to no support). Anyway, so glad you said this. I was starting to question myself.
@chris239 My housekeeper is a godsend. I haven’t cleaned a toilet in 6 months.
She’s also kind of become a “mom friend,” or at least a “mom acquaintance.” We swap kid stories, she knows where all the good coffee shops are, and chat about things a bit each time she comes by. Can’t imagine life without her!
She’s also kind of become a “mom friend,” or at least a “mom acquaintance.” We swap kid stories, she knows where all the good coffee shops are, and chat about things a bit each time she comes by. Can’t imagine life without her!