Wife wants another. I'm not excited about it

[katrina2017]

@alsdpa A five year old doesn’t actually understand what having a sibling means, so while it may pull on your heartstrings, I wouldn’t take it as a sign. He may be imagining a boy his age and with his interests. Or may just hear other kids talk about their siblings and he feels like he wants to fit in.

There’s also the fact that it will take a minimum of 9 months, likely more, before there is a baby, and then another 3-4 years before the child will be able to cooperatively play. Your older child will be 9-10 years old by then and will likely be having play dates on his own and his social needs won’t be fulfilled by a much younger sibling.

Sure there is a connection siblings can have. But it’s such a toss-up. So many siblings torment each other or have very little relationship when they’re older.

But I’m biased. We love the one and done life and I feel like you - we left the baby days behind and don’t want to go back.

 

[arina83]

@alsdpa Totally understand your fear after what you went through. I had a traumatic birth with my first and was terrrrrrified of number 2 but had a great Dr and ended up having a beautiful birth. I also got a super chill baby and have enjoyed the newborn phase. All births and babies are unique so I wouldn't be put off by that alone (though maybe see Ob for a consult about risk).

Also (looking at some responses here) while adjusting can be hard for a toddler - it's not necessarily a bad thing. Children have to learn to make room for others at some point in life and siblings are a totally normal way to do that.