wHy iS yOuR bAbY cRyInG?!?

@airel "just you wait until age X" "you love them now but wait until they are X" when you say how much you enjoy your child. I've used Bill Burrs bit about *maybe you are just a shitty parent" which stops that conversation in its tracks. I got sick of pretending to agree with strangers that at a certain age I will despise my kids,
 
@chickaboom Lol I got this one when I was talking about how happy my son was to see me when I got home. He responds with “yeah your son is still at the age where they actually like you”.

Maybe your older kids don’t like you because you’re a shitty parent?
 
@airel As infant:

Why isn’t she wearing shoes?!?!

Me: She doesn’t walk…

Them: bUt ItS CuTe…

Me: -____-

Now: Why wont she let me hug her? Because I taught her consent and she doesnt want to hug you
 
@annie1758 If they can't walk, they don't need shoes. And once they can walk, barefoot is still best. And even if they have to wear shoes, and can walk, they're not wearing those "cute" shoes you found on clearance for $2 at Wal-Mart that will definitely not give their feet the support they need.
 
@airel Not a question I get asked but something else that irks me. People that have kids older than mine who make condescending comments. For this reason I choose not to talk about my daughter with most people.

Example: I'll say something like, "Yeah my 4 month old really isn't that bad to handle right now."

And their reply is "Hahaha well just you wait, you'll learn."

Just stop.
 
@absalonby Next time you get asked this you should reply with, “Well you see, condoms have gotten more expensive than you think. And don’t even get me started about abortions…”.

Please? Just once? And make sure to capture their look when you say it. It would be priceless to watch the depths of their own stupidity sink in when you deliver an answer like that. I only have two, and I’ve never been asked that question.
 
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