What to do when best is impossible (Emily Oster)

[futuretrainee]

@showinghearts I'm 4 weeks PP and I've made it my goal to be honest with people about the choices we have to make to keep our sanity. Do I want to co-sleep? No but if it's the difference between sleeping and not sleeping that night- yes I'm going to do it. I had small glasses of wine during pregnancy with dinner because it made me happy and I can control my alcohol intake. We also combo feed and suppliment with formula as needed. We've also had visitors from day one - all friends and family that came to cook for us which was a god send in those way days.

Nothing is perfect but my husband and I can analyze risk and understand when "perfect" becomes more dangerous than the alternative.

 

[uccipastormb]

@follow_the_word I appreciate the way she frames things. Her newsletter about "magic option C" really helped me in my decision making. I also think she makes a good point that sometimes we need nuances like she discussed in this newsletter.

 

[the_precious_one]

@follow_the_word What an interesting question! I had to sleep on it to think about it more and so may be late to comment, but I'll try anyway.

I disagree with Emily Oster on this:

from a policy perspective, we need to provide parents (and people in general) with more advice that recognizes reality

I don't think clear advice on second (and third, and so on) best options can or should be given - mostly because, as others said, second best will vary greatly from family to family. I think what we need is the WHY: the understanding of what scientific basis that first best advice rests on. Which we would then use to craft our own second best. And that, the WHY, is truly what's missing.

Examples that came to mind: why no screen time under 2; why no solids before 4 months.

Let’s embrace the second-best parenting, and leave behind the outer darkness

- and this I wholeheartedly agree with.

 

[rogersalgado]

@follow_the_word It's not really just an Emily Oster way of thinking. Her shtick is based in ecomonic thought and principles.

 

[despondent]

@follow_the_word This is really great,thanks for sharing. The pressure to be a perfect parent is so exhausting. I very much agree with what shes saying.

 

[forbincol]

@follow_the_word I’m not familiar with Ms Oster, however, my husband works in an OR and based on what he sees almost daily…. Rear face as long as humanly possible.

 

[kleez]

@follow_the_word This is a great article! Thanks for sharing!