What milestones were hardest for you on your TTC journey?

[hotinco]

My husband and I have been TTC for 8 months.

We’ve tired/use preseed, OPKs, track BBT, both take vitamins, no & low drinking, healthy diet, workout regularly, “going on vacation and relaxing”, thinking minimally about TTC, and having positive attitude/manifestation- which lead to more disappointment & heartache. I’m at the point where I expect the negative (AKA my period, because I don’t bother to test anymore).

Which milestones were hardest for you?

For me 4 months TTC hit really hard. I think this was the point when I realized it wasn’t going to be easy for us and the hope started to disappear.

6 months hurt, realizing 88% of couples that started trying at the same time would have conceived by then.

Now at 8 months I’ve returned to the doctor for more labs and a pelvic ultrasound. Admitting defeat and that we’re likely going to need help also hit really hard.

I know the 1 year mark is going to be rough.

TTC is so hard. It’s a one of few times in life where you have zero control and working harder doesn’t make a difference.

I used to imagine what our family and our life would look like. I don’t imagine anymore.

Update:

Thank you all for taking the time to comment and share parts of your stories. When I wrote this while I couldn’t sleep at 2am I really did not expect this response. It really seems like all different parts of the TTC journey can be so challenging. Hugs to all of you

 

[mo]

@hotinco For me it’s less about TTC milestones like hitting a year, 18 months etc, but things that show how much time has passed. Like passing birthdays, other people getting pregnant and giving birth in the space of me trying, passing Mother’s/Father’s Day etc.

 

[jazzgirl50]

@mo I’ve muted everyone on Instagram that has gotten pregnant since we’ve been trying. I accidentally saw the number yesterday - 78! Knife to the heart!!

 

[mo]

@jazzgirl50 Ouch. I’ve muted a lot of people, I dread to think how many that is

 

[doulos7]

@jazzgirl50 I had to delete Instagram

 

[dks]

@jazzgirl50 I finally left a Facebook group after one particularly active member announced she was pregnant with her 12th. TWELVE. Like, come the fuck on?? I would do horrible things for ONE kid, and she's out here popping them out like candy.

 

[haydenbehm]

@mo That's so true - my birthday is in 2 months and I dread it, frankly. I don't want yet another reminder of the fact that in 18+ months I've never had any positive whatsoever.

 

[mo]

@haydenbehm I really struggled on my last birthday. I’d always planned to be a mom at 27 so passing that age without even a hint of a positive test really upset me

 

[walnutbookshelf]

@haydenbehm My birthday is in 2 months too and I’m praying to be pregnant by then but also know at this point like don’t get your hopes up

 

[risingsun212]

@walnutbookshelf My birthday is in May (turning 33) and have been trying since end of August. This was our 7th cycle and I'm thinking I'm not pregnant. It sucks. I didn't plan vacations for the beginning of this year because I thought Id be in my first trimester and nauseous. Nope. Sigh. I feel your pain.

 

[risingsun212]

@walnutbookshelf My birthday is in May (turning 33) and have been trying since end of August. This was our 7th cycle and I'm thinking I'm not pregnant since my BBT has been sporadic and not continually high. It sucks. I didn't plan vacations for the beginning of this year because I thought I'd be in my first trimester and nauseous. Nope. Sigh. I feel your pain. Really praying to be pregnant by my birthday too.

 

[haydenbehm]

@risingsun212 I'll also turn 33 in May! Let's celebrate anyway whatever comes!

 

[walnutbookshelf]

@haydenbehm I also turn 33 in may!

 

[haydenbehm]

@walnutbookshelf Yay let's have a virtual birthday party

 

[walnutbookshelf]

@haydenbehm I also turn 33 in may!

 

[haydenbehm]

@walnutbookshelf Yeah I know. I just passed the 20 months mark and I'm still here deep down hoping but at the same time I feel like I'm doing it out of habit at this point?

 

[afin]

@mo 100% this!!!

When we first started I didn’t know anything about the realities of trying to conceive. I was so excited to surprise my husband with a positive test at our September wedding anniversary, nope. I was so excited be pregnant for Christmas and the holidays, nope. And now my birthday is coming up this month and I would have bet money I’d be pregnant by the time we celebrated. Those things just make the time passing sting a little bit more.

 

[zach17]

@afin Totally agree. The first month we were trying i bought a babygrow on etsy with our saying baby surname coming soon to give to my husband for Christmas, then valentines and hopefully his birthday soon. Its been sitting in the back of a drawer ever since

 

[guacamole]

@zach17 I too bought baby clothes to announce to the father. That was months ago. Now I try not to buy anything, my subconscious convinces me that buying things in bad luck and it’s why I’m not getting pregnant.

 

[cburesearch]

@mo This is so real. I have to say agree.