What are the best phrases you never thought you’d have to say?

[kaylank92]

Todays was “Stop karate chopping brown sugar into the couch!” For us.

What are some of the best things you’ll never forget that you had to actually say out loud?

 

[pochrist]

@kaylank92 "We do not use our poop as paint!"

We had a poocasso in the family

 

[toolsoftrust]

@pochrist Been there. Walked in the great room from putting the baby to sleep, and a three y/o looked directly at me and said “I made a master piece.” I walk around where I can see, and he has smeared poo all over the wall.

 

[pochrist]

@toolsoftrust Hahaha such is the life eh?

 

[anonomis]

@pochrist OMFG. Yours is the top comment.

This morning my 4.5 yr daughter smeared dog shit all over the house, *AND* also onto our 1 yo son's face. It was an event of maaaassivee frustration this morning before having my coffee.

 

[ginger18]

@anonomis Before coffee? Smh

 

[anonomis]

@ginger18 I had literally pushed the "make a coffee" button on the machine and then shit hit the fan.

 

[pochrist]

@anonomis It's always worse in the morning because none of us want to be up. And none of us want to be up cleaning up dog poop

 

[kkk]

@kaylank92 Get your finger out of the cat's butt!

Poor cat had serious trust issues after that.

 

[aiden236]

@kkk Ditto for that "get out of the dogs butt" is ours lol.

 

[lacrimosa1995]

@aiden236 Yeah, ive had to use that one a few times.

 

[andrew6297]

@kkk What is it with their obsession with buttholes?! My poor dog refuses to lay down looking away from my toddler. She’s officially traumatized.

 

[hallel]

@kkk This was said 3 nights ago in my house

 

[brianaxx1012]

@kkk I’ve said “don’t put your French fry in the dogs butt!”

 

[bongorob]

@kaylank92 Put your penis away at the dinner table

 

[traciitulathy]

@bongorob If I had a nickel every time someone said that to me.

 

[wheelgirl]

@traciitulathy I’d have like 30 cents.

 

[crr]

@bongorob Sorry? Is this not normal? Next you’re going to tell me you don’t have a pop knife…

 

[orenz9002]

@kaylank92 "You can not return your sister to Amazon." Had her in the box and getting ready to tape it closed.

 

[sevenz]

@orenz9002 Big Nermal-to-Abu Dhabi vibes