Weaning sadness

[carrilynn]

@cassidyshay Holy crap, I have so much respect for you.

My LO is only 4 weeks and my supply has always been so low, like 2-5oz/day on a good day. We’ve been supplementing formula since day 5, and I was only able to keep up with triple feeding for a week. It took such a toll on my mental health.

I’m still BFing before offering a bottle, and it’s giving me the satisfaction of being able to provide for my baby while also actually providing for him fully (with formula). Maybe that’s something you could do?

But either way, whatever you decide to do will be the right choice for you and your family. It IS sad to not be able to EBF when that’s what you wanted to do I just keep telling myself that a fed baby is a happy baby, regardless of how he gets his food. And also, a relaxed mama is a good mama. Lack of breastfeeding doesn’t make us any less.

 

[cassidyshay]

@carrilynn Ugh I’m sorry you went through triple feed hell as well! I say all the time it should be a war crime.

I’m so glad what you guys are doing is working for you. I can do that as well, but since she doesn’t transfer well she sometimes gets fussy at the breast, especially when my supply drops. But I’ll try it I think!

I definitely think I need to stop pumping though. Actually seeing less milk coming out is so triggering. I think I’d feel better just letting my supply naturally dry up by just breastfeeding and not really knowing when the last time is.

Ugh I hate hormones!!

 

[carrilynn]

@cassidyshay I had to stop pumping too - I think you’re right about being able to actually see the amount of milk (or lack of) is very triggering. It was killing me to actually see how much I wasn’t able to give him.

I’ve just given in to the idea that my milk might dry up with the way I’m feeding baby, but that’s ok with me. If it happens it happens. I can’t sacrifice my own health & happiness to get 2oz of breast milk a day.

I hope you start to feel better about it soon

 

[cassidyshay]

@carrilynn Wow I’m really proud of you for being able to think so clearly about this in the midst of all the hormonal craziness that early postpartum. Your baby is lucky to have such a sage mumma I really want to get to that point emotionally. I think that’ll br my plan too. I don’t want to know when my last time nursing her is. As for the sadness… kinda seems like the only way out is through. I know it’s in myself and my family’s best interest to stop pumping. Just hard to let go after trying so hard for so long.

 

[carrilynn]

@cassidyshay You’ve done MORE than enough for your baby. And way more than I (or most people honestly) could have done. Your baby is so lucky to have you

 

[cassidyshay]

@carrilynn

 

[katrina2017]

@cassidyshay I don't have much else advice to say on top of the other great comments but I vividly remember washing my pumps for the last time and standing there and saying to myself: no more. I am such a happier mum, I am a better mum and I am far more present than I ever was while breastfeeding and pumping. Give yourself grace, let every feeling that comes to you come through you, let it all out and I really believe when you're on the other side you'll feel so much better. You've worked so hard! I didn't try nearly half as hard as you did, you're such an amazing mum!

 

[cassidyshay]

@katrina2017 Thank you so much and honestly good for you for not doing half of what I did. I maybe should have quit a while ago. At some point I think it came to be less about doing it for her and more for doing it for me and when I realized that, that’s when I knew I had to stop trying to force it. The fact that you were able to see that sooner shows me that you are an amazing mumma yourself