We make too much to get any assistance and not enough to live. I literally don’t know what we are going to do

D

donaldspede

New member
I wanted to formula feed because I am bipolar and want to get back on my meds ASAP. The cut off for WIC is 42,606 for a family of 3 in my state, and my husband makes just over 43k. Formula is expensive. It looks like I might be forced to breast feed so our baby doesn’t go hungry.

But that’s not all. It will cost 189$ PER WEEK to add me to my husband’s health insurance. My husband’s annual income is $5,000 over the cut off. We are starting our new life as parents with a mountain of medical debt, already unable to afford even the monthly premium.

We have rent, student loans, a car payment… I already canceled our subscriptions, we use straight talk on old hand me down iPhones. There is no where else we can cut. I have a job but it doesn’t pay much, not enough to justify paying for infant childcare. How the actual f**k are we going to get by???

Is anyone in the same financial boat?? How are we possibly going to make it? Does anyone have any advice or know of any resources?
 
@donaldspede You may want to check out your local food banks or distribution centers. A lot of times they provide food regardless of income.

I would also look into milk donation or milk banks if you feel comfortable with that. Some people do, some don’t, but it would provide supplemental food without the cost.

Apply for your WIC and food assistance (it’s SNAP by us iirc) anyway. Sometimes getting denied can open up other avenues for aid.

Sign up for formula samples and reach out to your local buy nothing group. People have formula for free on there all the time near where I live.
 
@donaldspede This might be naive, but is there any way your husband might be able to talk to his boss about the situation and get his compensation changed to, say, $42,000 with a $1000 bonus? Or even just drop his salary to below the cutoff if you think the WIC benefits will more than offset the loss of a few hundred dollars?
I’m so sorry you’re in this position—it’s so frustrating and unfair :-(
 
@donaldspede You can ask your child's pediatrician for formula samples, ours gave us 4 whole containers while I was waiting for my milk to come in and our hospital also sent us home with 8 premade bottles.

Also you can sign up for Enfamil and Similac online. Enfamil sent me full size samples and both gave me tons of coupons (like good ones for $20 off a container).
 
@donaldspede Are there mom groups in your area? This could be fitness groups, facebook groups, community center workshops, birthing prep classes, etc. Many have a cyclical donation element, where people can ask for and donate items as needed. This could help offset some of the costs of items, as well as connect you with people for referrals (ie a recommendation if you need reliable and affordable childcare in a pinch, etc)
 
@faith2016 I’m not on Facebook, I quit 3 years ago because it is so addictive. But I probably should get back on there because I know it can be a good resource for connecting with the community. I will look into mom groups. Thanks!
 
@donaldspede I have this challenge too. I know some people who create new accounts that don’t have any friends so they literally just have it to join groups and go on Marketplace. I should probably do the same…but at this point I’ve unfollowed so many people it’s not very entertaining anyways
 
@donaldspede The rules for subsidies through the marketplace have changed and you may be able to get substantially subsidized for you and baby or all of you through it. You can submit an application to see.

For formula set up a profile on the various companies websites and they will send lots of coupons. Have a family member sign up as well and they will also get the coupons. I did this for several friends during the formula shortage/price increase and just mailed them the coupons.
 
@donaldspede Get on medicaid. All pregnant women qualify. Then apply for WIC again. They accept anyone on medicaid. Your husband won't get benefits, but you and bub will. That's what happened with us.
 
@donaldspede I am sorry! what a tough spot to be in.

I feel like in this position I would be reaching out to parents, siblings, grandparents, friends. Even people who don't have a lot to give would probably be willing to give a little bit for formula. I also know even estranged family will often change their tune for a baby. I know I have had friends ask for diapers for people I didn't even know and I've been happy to chip in and send a box their way. People like buying stuff for babies. If you are having a baby shower, cut out anything that isn't strictly necessary (or even get that stuff in buy nothing groups) and ask for formula.

I know someone mentioned facebook already, but in many places there are buy nothing groups there where people give away stuff they don't need. I know I have formula samples I don't intend to use, I bet many other people do as well. I would go join and ask to see what people want to get rid of. You can also get samples from free baby registry gift boxes (walmart, target, amazon and babylist all have these) and directly from formula websites. Sometimes your doctor might even have samples.

Be careful with these, but I would be looking at ways to make money from home. Don't do anything you have to buy into. But, for example, if you have a bachelor's you might be able to teach English to students online at odd hours. These jobs are on a different time zone, so you may be able to do it while your partner is at home sleeping, so he can handle the baby if necessary. I know if it came down to it, I would be working outside of the house at an opposite schedule to my husband. Depending on when he works, maybe you can find a night audit job at a hotel or something similar. It certainly isn't ideal, but it's very common and people make it work. At my husband's workplace it's super common for dad to switch to night shift so he can watch the kids during the day while mom works.
 
@donaldspede Re childcare, check and see if your state has any kind of childcare assistance (call 211 as a start).

Depending on how parenting goes for you and your mental health, you might look into caring for an additional child if the current job you have doesn't pay enough for your own childcare. I had a nanny for my first (because of daycare waitlists), and she was a mom with no prior childcare experience aside from her son being six months older than my daughter - but she was awesome! She brought her son to work with her and she made more money with me than what she had been making in her prior job, plus she didn't have to pay for childcare (or his food during the day because I just supplied everything). I also paid her a health insurance stipend on top of her regular wages. She's always said that taking care of two babies, especially once they were a little older, was easier than one because they entertained each other.

As someone who totally could not do that job I completely understand that it's not for everyone. But it can work for some people, and I see more nannies nowadays who are bringing their own young kids with them.
 
@donaldspede I unfortunately have no advice for you, but I understand where you are coming from and am in a similar situation financially🥺 im located in Canada, and although myself and my partner both make decent amounts, its just not enough, especially with debt, car payments, etc. We are actually looking at relocating across the country from where we currently are, as my partner can get paid twice as much there, and the cost of living where we are right now is the most expensive province in the country... im having a hard time understanding how anyone affords to raise children here honestly!! It seems to be getting more difficult for anyone to stay afloat. I hope you are able to find assistance and make it work without having to make such a big change as we are, sending good vibes your way!!❤️
 
@donaldspede I honestly feel you on this. You're not alone we are kind of going through the same thing. My husband pays 500$ a month just for medical insurance for both of us. It's insane. Since we haven't met our $3,000 deductible yet we have to pay for most things out of pocket, except my obgyn appointments (thank god). We have like 3 medical bills from going to the hospital bc I was having such intense pain and doc told me to come in. Honestly when I do get those bills I throw them away. It's awful but I can't afford that shit. Thank God we don't have a car payment but we also only have 1 vehicle between both of us. We live in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment and rent keeps increasing. It's now up to $1200 for it. Not including electric or water. I applied for food stamps, and I used to be on food stamps so thankfully we have like 200$ left on the card, hopefully will get more. We also just signed up for wic, just had my first appointment with them. I also, since I'm unemployed and my husband isn't, I applied for medical state assistance and actually got it somehow.
 
@donaldspede You mentioned student loans, I know there’s a current pause going on in the U.S. and at least here during active payments you can request a circumstance-specific decrease or income-based repayment. It may be worth giving your loan servicer a call if you haven’t already.
 
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