We are doing no electronics during the school week for the month of May. It's changed the whole family dynamic. Maybe you should try it, too

S

sf111

New member
So I have 9y.o. and 2 5 y.o.s. Like most parents, when we had just 1 kid we were quite good about limiting screentime but as the twins got older we found 30 - 45 minutes of screentime creeping into most days.

And every time we had to get kids off screens to eat, bathe, etc...man, what a fight. Screaming. Acrimony. Crying. Temper tantrums--and that was just me. The kids were worse!

Also, my 9 y.o. has ADHD and with his prescription meds has a hard time sleeping. We'd already decided to limit things so that there are no screens after 6pm, but he was still often up past 9.30, and since he "needed" to get his screentime before dinner, he'd often not eat a proper lunch until he felt hangry, melted down, and then finally ate something at 4.30pm, which would mean he doesn't want to eat dinner. So then he'd be hungry at 9pm and meltdown if he didn't get second dinner.

When one child got some tablet or computer while the other was doing something else, then the complaints over what was "fair" would erupt. And the screaming begins again.

The problems kept dogpiling.

So we decided to stop it, cold turkey. We do movie night on Friday where we all pick a movie and watch it while we eat pizze. And then 30 minutes of screens on Saturday and Sunday. And that's it.

The first week was tough. Lots of fighting. "Why no videos? Why no computer? I wanted to build a castle in Minecraft, etc." It's hard to hold firm when you have 3x the complaints, but we kept with it.

The second week, everyone found other things to do than watch videos--without being asked. The 9 y.o. colored & drew with his sisters for a few hours. They all went out and played with neighborhood friends every afternoon. Everyone read books. And best of all, everyone sleeps better. More running around after school + no screens blasting blue light into eyes = lights out before 9pm for all 3.

Last weekend, after getting electronics again, the 9 y.o. had a meltdown after time was up because he wanted more time and hadn't eaten enough so he was hangry. After we calmed down and ate something, he said, "I don't like how I feel when I get too much screens and then don't eat. I understand, Daddy."

Which
  1. Huge props to the little man for having the emotional maturity to understand that the cause of feeling awful--screens leading to bad time management--was avoidable.
  2. Being willing to own up to a parent being right. Let's be honest: I'll probably only get told "you were right, Daddy" a half-dozen times in my entire life. 😛
My point here is: screentime regulation is hard. And I feel for all you dadditors trying to manage it. If you can cut it almost entirely out, you may find that--like I have--it eliminates the #1 most common cause of fights that we had every day ("ONE MORE MINUTE") and just makes the house more tranquil.

Added bonus: since they're coloring and drawing more, I get more art to decorate with / send to grandparents.
 
@retrofuturist I was an occasional freelance ASL interpreter briefly in the mid aughties.

Then I moved to Poland and there was not much use for ASL there.

I've since mostly forgotten my ASL, sadly.
 
@christinaswartz1 React is the main one! Most of my clients use it either directly or as part of the stack.

I'm a decent front-end dev, though the bulk of my work is visual design, so translating stakeholders' ideas/intents into documented mockups that the team can execute on.
 
@christinaswartz1 I’m a video editor, and work from home. I had my first kiddo in 2020 during the pandemic and have never known needing to juggle office / family life, and I never want to know! Both my parents were dance teachers so it was great to always have them pick me up at school and then be with them at the dance studio while they worked. I don’t know how other people balance office / family life. I feel like I’d never see my kids!
 
@joevic Very cool!
You are absolutely right but at the same time it can be different to separate work and personal life and I sometimes envy the employed dads that have strict time borders. But that’s 10% of the whole experience. ;)
 
@christinaswartz1 Oh one thousand percent. Once the world opened up, my wife and I still tried being full time parents having my kiddo at home, while both working full time jobs and THAT is impossible. It’s not fair to the kiddo. She’s in daycare, and we work from home, and it makes the world of a difference and is better for both her and us. My hats off to the parents who are full time stay at home parents because it IS a full time job, no cutting corners there!
 
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