[Update] L&D at 25+2

mariachristi

New member
Long, so: Tl;dr Baby boy is fine, just being a little troll and hiding behind his placenta. Had an awful, horrendous L&D experience complete with humiliation, panic attacks, and a furious SO that resulted in personally being reassured by the head nursing director of the hospital.

So yesterday afternoon, I realized little bug hadn't moved in almost two days. I knew that my doctor said this was a problem at 28 weeks or later and I'd definitely need to go in at that point for decreased movement, but since it was a little earlier than that I wasn't sure what to do. Gave my doctor's office a call, and the nurse told me to come on in to L&D and get monitored since, even though I'm pre-third trimester, I had been getting fairly consistent movement for almost two weeks at that point and none of the tricks to get him moving had worked for me at that point. Better safe than sorry basically.

I reconfirmed no less than three times that, yes I should in fact go to the ER and up to L&D, not just to my doctor's office because I was embarrassed and not really sure it was necessary, and my social anxiety was telling me people would think I was stupid. The nurse reassures me that, yes, thats the plan and I'm not stupid so off SO and I go to the hospital. Go to the ER, explain what the doctor's office said, they check me in no problem and an orderly takes me to the triage room for L&D to be monitored. Everyone is chill at that point. At some point they bring another woman into the room for basically the same thing and that nurse apologizes for having the two of us in the same room, but it's really busy that day. No big deal I tell him. About 20 minutes later an orderly comes in and says she's here to take us to the clinic. I'm confused and ask her to explain but she isn't really sure either, just that she was told to take us to the clinic. As I'm trying to ask her why we are being moved, another nurse comes rushing in the room, gets in my face, and basically yells at me and humiliates me, in front of another patient She tells me that essentially I am wasting their time being there for monitoring and if I wasn't stupid I would have just gone to the outpatient OB clinic to do the NST since it was before four o'clock. I get told that they have three women in labor and a set of high risk twins that were just delivered and those women actually need their attention and they can't waste time on me for something as silly as fetal monitoring and then kicks me out the door and tells me to go to the clinic.

By the time that we got over to the clinic I am sobbing and my SO is furious. I go to check in and the clinic nurses immediately pull me into the office to figure out what's wrong. Between having a panic attack and sobbing I manage to blubber out what was said to me and why I'm there. The two nurses give each other a sideways look and ask me what she looked like. I describe the nurse and one of them tells the other "You-know-who", so I gather that this isn't the first incident. They take my BP and it is somewhere in the range of 145/95 and they freak out.

Long story short, the nurse in the clinic takes me back to hook up the monitors, even brings my SO with me even though their policy is not too, all the while reassuring me that I absolutely did the right thing coming in and of course that's what they are there for and apologizing. While she's trying to hook up the monitors, the hospital nursing director comes in with a complaint report. Apparently the clinic nurse asked her to come down and fill one out with me. She goes over the incident and spends about 20 minutes reassuring me that this was unacceptable and I was completely right coming in and that it will be taken care of and SO and I can both see the barely controlled anger on her face. She leaves to go "take care of things" and the nurse is having trouble getting a good read on baby boy because he is playing hide and seek with the monitors, so she gets me in for an ultrasound real quick. Once again, they let SO come with me even though its against policy. Baby boy is apparently cozy in there, but since he's gotten bigger he's moved and is now directly behind my anterior placenta, which is why I am suddenly not feeling him. We could see his heart pumping and he was practice breathing which was cool. He was moving and waving his hands, but is kind of lazy.

When the US was done, the nurse gives me some juice and a cool cloth to help me relax a little, then checks my BP again before letting me leave and its pretty close to normal at that point, which is good. The nurse director comes back to once again reassure us that things have been taken care of and it won't happen again. We finally get to head out after a very long day.

So that's that. Baby boy is healthy at least and I'm glad about that and that the other nurses were understanding, but it was completely humiliating and I'm honestly not sure if I'd be comfortable going in again for something like this after the way I was treated. Unfortunately, this is the only area hospital that takes my insurance, so I don't really have a choice in the matter.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
 
@mariachristi I hope that nurse gets skewered by the higher ups, not only for being an utter bitch and making you feel bad, but for berating you the way she did in front of other people when you were completely in the right and under doctor's orders to go in. I'm not sure if you're here in the US or in Canada, but I'm pretty sure that coming in and ratting you out for what you came in for in front of another patient is completely against HIPAA privacy laws -- additionally, she shouldn't have blurted out that they had other high risk patients either. Pretty sure that that's another breach of privacy laws.

I'm glad that nurse called in the hospital's nursing director and that that bitch was reported. I was halfway through typing up a thing in my head saying "I hope you got her name / ID number and reported her to the patient coordinator before you left" before I got to the part that one of the nurses called it in for you :p

In any case, I'm glad everything was ok with you and baby! Try and take it easy and stop telling baby to be a troll :p
 
@mariachristi Holy shit, dude. That idiot needs to be seriously punished and removed from patient-facing duties IMMEDIATELY. That is absolutely never, ever okay.

So you filed an official complaint with the hospital about this individual, right? A formal one? I would also write the head of nursing staff a letter and explain how awful the experience was, and note that if you were able to go to another hospital, you would, simply because of that nurse's completely inappropriate, unprofessional and demeaning behavior towards you, a patient who has every right to be in the hospital. Seriously, don't take that shit! Make a big deal about that, and make sure you're heard.

Rant about scumbag piece of shit nurse aside, I'm so glad the kiddo is okay!!! Mine did something similar a couple weeks back, and I couldn't feel movement, so they gave me the NST. It's terrifying when you can't get any movement out of the baby, no matter what you try.
 
@johnboy99 Thank you. Yes, as she was talking to SO and I, the director was filling out an official complaint form. SO told me later that the reason he had gotten her name and ID number was because he was planning to rant to everyone he came in contact with until he found someone to file a complaint to. I was so humiliated I barely remembered what she looked like, so I'm glad he did.

And I've considered it. I actually called my mom on the walk to the clinic and told her I never wanted to step foot in L&D again, and Id just give birth at home if I had no other options.
 
@mariachristi I am so sorry you had to go through this experience! As a nurse I'm completely disgusted that you were treated this way. I'm so happy to hear your little guy is doing great in there, and I hope you're recovering from such a crap day well. I bet if you ever have to go in in the future, you could request specifically not to see that nurse. What a freakin' jerk. Ah I'm so mad on your behalf right now!
 
@mariachristi I'm glad to hear that everything this going well with your son.

I'm also super glad, as a nurse, that a complaint was filed and that someone in management seems to be taking this very seriously. No person should ever receive the treatment you received, especially because you might be scared to go back if there is ever another problem. People like that just make my blood boil. I wish there were some kind of magical rule that only good guys got to be nurses, doctors, etc.
 
@mariachristi I'm glad to hear that your LO is okay! I was wondering about you. I'm sorry that nurse was such a bitch. Thankfully the hospital took it seriously. It doesn't seem like it was the first incident. A silver lining: maybe your incident was a catalyst for some negative consequences for her behavior?
 
@mariachristi Geez! Some people just should not work in health care. :/ So glad everything is OK! I hope you give yourself a nice treat tonight, like a bath or maybe a pint of ice cream, haha. You deserve it.
 
@mariachristi I can't even believe you were treated that way I am so sorry! I hope they speak with that nurse. So glad your baby is ok! :) I have anxiety and had a panic attack at my dr.'s office yesterday and of course my BP was high too…I can relate. :/ I am glad you're feeling better.
 
@mariachristi I'm sorry that happened, that nurse was a Bitch! If I were in your shoes, I would feel comfortable going back though because of the way the director and the other nurses handled the situation. You can't let one wackjob ruin your impression of the whole hospital. :)
 
@mariachristi Oh my god, that is horrible :( I'm so sorry you dealt with all that ON TOP of worrying about your baby. Ughhh. If you are definitely unable to deliver at another hospital, just make very very sure that when it's your time this nurse is not to be anywhere near you and your baby.

Otherwise, I'm so happy to hear that everything is ok. I would've done the same thing, fwiw. ((hugs))
 
@mariachristi Well, first of all I'm so glad you and little babe are ok. Seriously I got worried when I saw your post. So, I'm glad it was just troll sleepy baby :)

Second: please, please, please, don't never ever risk or put in doubt yourself because what happened with this. NEVER. If you feel something's off, you go. No matter what.

Third: I'm glad someone help you to fill a complain and you had a back up. I could use a thousand off words right now (none of them pretty) that I thought when I was reading what happen, but I will let that go to not fill this with inappropriate ones hehe.
I will tell you though, this kind of people never get too far. They are miserable, unhappy, unprofessional people who manage to cross some paths and screw some moments, but thats it. Thats how far they go and they never get higher. Short minds have short ceilings. So don't worry, you did the right thing, you never ever have to be ashamed, no matter what some asshole can tell you, for taking good care of your kiddo.

Big big hugs!!!
 
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