marcplatters
New member
Hello! First I am so thankful for all of the positive comments and messages. It meant a lot to see all of the support from friends I have never met before- Thank you! Everything about my experience was positive, even the uncomfortable things. You are stronger than you think and you can do ALL of this, well beyond the laboring part.
Labor/Delivery
On 9/7 I had an emotional day. I cried all day, and when I wasn't crying I was sleeping. I felt avoidance towards eating and had a few BH's but nothing noticeable. Around 1am I was binge reading this sub and realized my stomach was getting quite a few painless BH's. I kind of, semi-not really paid attention and by 3 they felt like very minor period cramps every 20-30 minutes. By 7 they were coming every 5-7 minutes but they weren't SUPER consistent. When we called the midwife she wasn't sure but recommended to come to the hospital and get checked anyways. Car rides really suck during labor even if it's a 3 minute ride- Before the car the contractions needed some focus but I could still talk through them, in the car they were straight up uncomfortable from the sitting position- if the ride was longer I would have felt more comfortable with the seat leaned back.
At the hospital I was hooked up to the monitors in triage. I was bouncing between 3 and 6 minutes but some I couldn't even feel. As we sat there they stayed the same length but got more intense. I was focusing on just breathing during some really strong ones and talking with my husband. They tell you contractions get stronger but they don't really mention they can vary so much- some were fine and others were significantly stronger. I was 4cm and since I was so regular they moved me to a labor suite.
I was walking around the room while my husband got a snack. Contractions got MUCH stronger as I walked around. Eventually I got in the bed to wait for him to get back. Once he did we were sitting there and suddenly my water broke- and by broke I mean shot over the bed and onto the floor. It didn't hurt- after a contraction what felt like bath water went splattering out. We were laughing with the nurse about it after the surprise wore off- My water came in several huge gushes and was clear liquid and bloody on the bed. This is normal and due to the remainder of my plug coming out. I was still at 4cm but pretty much the next contraction after my water broke I entered transition.
So I went from slowly, manageably contracting to extremely intense contractions. I went from 4cm at the time of water breaking to 9cm in 30 minutes. My contractions were extremely intense lasting 60-75 seconds and giving me 30 seconds between them. Within three contractions I asked for the epidural because I felt like I was suffocating. I was 100% focused on breathing through the contractions to not panic and tense. I was focusing on breathing and relaxing my body. Between contractions I tried to catch my breath and felt extremely nauseous and faint. Baby's heart was fantastic through these, but at the time my water broke they were doing my intermittent monitoring and the stupid pads were REALLY distracting and uncomfortable during contractions... so were baby kicks. My philosophy had been to do what I can to get through but go with the flow. I knew I wouldn't have the calm, happy, focused experience I wanted without the epi and decided to use it as a tool to get that experience. The anesthesiologist was in within 3 minutes of me asking the nurse for the epi. She was sweet and kind and did a beautiful job. My contractions were so strong as she placed it and my back was so tight that it took a little extra effort on her part. I warned her each time I felt a contraction coming on so she knew and just devoted everything in me to breathing and not moving (I didn't want to screw up the epi). Once placed it took about 2 more contractions before I started feeling relief.
The pressure never changed, just the pain level. I could breathe again and focus on sitting up and letting gravity work the baby down. My midwife popped in as the anesthesiologist was leaving and checked me, 9cm. 5cm progression in 30 minutes. I asked to get to a 10 and labor down until baby was pretty much crowning, she said no problem. An hour late I felt incredible pressure (My water came 3-4 more times as baby moved down, this is normal.) and called the nurse. She stayed with us since I was progressing so fast and called our midwife and said "I'm gonna make you run". My husband and the nurse picked up my legs for practice pushes. My midwife came in about 2 minutes late and gowned up. I was smiling and laughing through all of this by the way. There was tons of pressure but I wouldn't exactly call it pain and I was SO excited.
My delivery was perfect. Contraction came, I curled up and pushed as low as I could. I could feel where the pressure was and tried to direct the pushes at it through my bottom. It takes a little practice but you can do it. Really think of trying when you're struggling to pass gas and just do that. My midwife did a mineral oil stretch massage in between contractions. My baby was really moving down quickly, so as he started to emerge she told me to stop pushing and put baby shampoo all over his head to help make it slippery. My husband said she also put her fingers in and put a little oil on the sides to help stretch. On the final push (a whopping 8 minutes of pushing later...) he slipped out and started screaming. I had a little abrasion from delivery but no tears. My placenta slipped right out a few minutes later, I was bummed I didn't get to see it. We spent 2 hours in the room and had some lunch then went to urinate. I did have a urinary catheter before pushing so the first pee was quite uncomfortable but tolerable. It got easier every time and them pushing on my uterus to remove clots was never painful- just pressure and a little uncomfortable in PP but not dreadful.
PostPartum
My son latched as soon as I tried to feed him and it was just me and husband in the room. He has been feeding like a champ and has had a wonderful latch. Our hospital offers breastfeeding classes which were great- they showed a few holds, check for tongue ties and latch issues, and give some tips. We have been doing amazing since then.
I brought depends with me to the hospital and would put the huge maternity pads (they're like 1 1/2 feet long!) in them. I would put an ice pack inside the pad at first and just bleed over it, then later I started just sitting on the ice pack so I could have better absorbency. For me recovery was irritating because the hospital SUCKS. The bed moved for no reason to "prevent pressure sores" and would wake me up constantly. People always in the room, people doing tests. I cried for two hours straight because I missed my dogs and was scared I wouldn't love them anymore (hint: I do). Every time my son would settle to sleep someone came in to do a test or check him or me, waking him up. By the time we got home we CRASHED into the bed/bassinet and slept for three hours. I bawled my eyes out each time they took him out of the room (husband went wherever he went) and sobbed for two hours when they did our state PKU test (at 1 am...). Overall though everyone was kind and attentive, and I couldn't have had a better experience getting to know baby and rest before coming home.
Coming home is emotionally tough. I'm so happy to be here but it's hard. My husband is 1,000x more experienced with babies than me and it makes me feel irrationally inadequate. He's been amazing telling me I'm doing such a good job- I have a future linebacker apparently since all he wants to do is eat- He's almost back at his birth weight already. You may feel great the day after you get home. Try to rest anyways and don't overdo it- I overdid it then last night during our pattern of "eat for 40 minutes, sleep for 30-40, repeat" I was crying and really struggling. It's worth it, though, especially after hearing he's gaining.
It took 4 days for me to poop. Stool softeners are your friend. Coffee helped me in the end. My bum was swollen, so a few sitz baths, tucks pads, and patience really helped. It was not uncomfortable when it was time but DON'T force it out. Just be patient. Urinating is painful for me right now since my abrasion is very swollen and open. Even the peri bottle doesn't help it. I keep up with ibuprofen and witch hazel pads. I also use the numbing spray on my pad when I feel it's really bad. I have REALLY strong contractions and cramps when I nurse but my uterus has shrunk super quickly. I am not going to fit in my pre-pregnancy clothes for a while but I feel great about my body so far. I'm drinking a ton of water and nursing as much as possible. Once my scrape feels better I'll start walking with him more.
What worked for me:
Positivity. I laughed in between pushes. I didn't yell, I didn't cuss. I used the epi as a tool to achieve the positive experience I wanted. The most important thing to me (aside from safety) was welcoming him happily. For me the epi was the right choice ultimately, it calmed me and preserved my energy as I had gone 36 hours without sleep by the time I pushed.
I ate a PBJ right before leaving. I wish I had eaten more but was nauseous when I tried to eat at home. If you think you're going into labor I recommend you eat a couple of protein heavy snacks that are belly friendly, because you WILL get super hungry.
Zofran. This is an option at my hospital during labor. I was extremely nauseous during transition and was thankful to have it. You can always ask for it if you feel a little nauseous because things change rapidly during labor and being able to be flexible really helped me.
Football hold for breastfeeding. Pillows for feeding. Patience. Breathing during a bad latch when you're sore. Sticking with it, and more patience. My baby was a fast learner but not everyone will be so lucky. Soak in lanolin- So much lanolin. I just letting my breasts hang out and let it soak in/air dry and tried to remember it's just the latch that was uncomfortable when he messed up. I would pull him in closer and check the bottom of his chin to make sure it was deep enough.
Nursing camis that unsnap. I wear these all the time and just let everything hang out and dry. It makes feeding in front of visitors much easier.
Cloth diapers as burp clothes and milk-catchers. My milk came in super quickly and I drip while I feed him.
Onesies that have finger/hand covers. We don't have nearly enough and our little guy refuses to be swaddled arms in. He loves having his hands by his face but scratches even though we filed his nails.
Letting my husband be involved. He was an unbelievable support system. He encouraged me. He held my hand. He said I was doing amazing and he was so proud of me. He told me to take a deep breath and focus, and encouraged me to just stay calm and listen to the midwife during pushing. He watched the whole time I pushed- seeing him tear up and tell me he could see the baby's hair made me want to push that much harder. He was amazing and bawled his eyes out with me when our baby was born. He is still amazing and so in love with our baby.
Ultimately, flexibility worked for me. I dreamt of an unmedicated labor/delivery in a squatted position- I said I absolutely did not want to deliver on my back. I labored primarily on my back between when I labored at home and when I was in the hospital. I delivered on my back and it was perfect anyways.
A positive attitude, because not all experiences are the same and you can't predict it. Labor is hard. It's tiring, it's not comfortable. But you can do it. My experience was beautiful and happy. The lady in the triage room next to me was screaming for an epidural at 2cm. I saw her in the breastfeeding class and she was NOT in the same place as I was. Do what you have to do to stay positive and relaxed. Strengthen your body as well as your mind during pregnancy and take it one contraction at a time. Staying focused on the end goal made it so much easier.
My baby is starting to wake up so I will leave you with this for now. Please contact me/message me if you have any questions. I am an open book! I don't have pictures uploaded yet and I doubt I will post them on here with this being a public forum. But pictures of my baby won't help you prepare for your experience anyways. You're in the driver's seat of this journey and your baby will be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in your life. The wait is long, (and full of terrors), and pregnancy was miserable for me but I feel totally different now. The sciatic pain was gone instantly, the epi helped that! I feel amazing even when he's screaming in the middle of pooppocalypse 2015 (really. He explosively pooped, peed, and pooped again as soon as his diaper was removed last night).
Emotionally it is hard with the mood swings. All in all it was so worth it, I'm so in love, and will be doing it again... in 2 to 4 years....
Good luck. Believe in yourself, your family, and don't make too many rules for yourself.
Labor/Delivery
On 9/7 I had an emotional day. I cried all day, and when I wasn't crying I was sleeping. I felt avoidance towards eating and had a few BH's but nothing noticeable. Around 1am I was binge reading this sub and realized my stomach was getting quite a few painless BH's. I kind of, semi-not really paid attention and by 3 they felt like very minor period cramps every 20-30 minutes. By 7 they were coming every 5-7 minutes but they weren't SUPER consistent. When we called the midwife she wasn't sure but recommended to come to the hospital and get checked anyways. Car rides really suck during labor even if it's a 3 minute ride- Before the car the contractions needed some focus but I could still talk through them, in the car they were straight up uncomfortable from the sitting position- if the ride was longer I would have felt more comfortable with the seat leaned back.
At the hospital I was hooked up to the monitors in triage. I was bouncing between 3 and 6 minutes but some I couldn't even feel. As we sat there they stayed the same length but got more intense. I was focusing on just breathing during some really strong ones and talking with my husband. They tell you contractions get stronger but they don't really mention they can vary so much- some were fine and others were significantly stronger. I was 4cm and since I was so regular they moved me to a labor suite.
I was walking around the room while my husband got a snack. Contractions got MUCH stronger as I walked around. Eventually I got in the bed to wait for him to get back. Once he did we were sitting there and suddenly my water broke- and by broke I mean shot over the bed and onto the floor. It didn't hurt- after a contraction what felt like bath water went splattering out. We were laughing with the nurse about it after the surprise wore off- My water came in several huge gushes and was clear liquid and bloody on the bed. This is normal and due to the remainder of my plug coming out. I was still at 4cm but pretty much the next contraction after my water broke I entered transition.
So I went from slowly, manageably contracting to extremely intense contractions. I went from 4cm at the time of water breaking to 9cm in 30 minutes. My contractions were extremely intense lasting 60-75 seconds and giving me 30 seconds between them. Within three contractions I asked for the epidural because I felt like I was suffocating. I was 100% focused on breathing through the contractions to not panic and tense. I was focusing on breathing and relaxing my body. Between contractions I tried to catch my breath and felt extremely nauseous and faint. Baby's heart was fantastic through these, but at the time my water broke they were doing my intermittent monitoring and the stupid pads were REALLY distracting and uncomfortable during contractions... so were baby kicks. My philosophy had been to do what I can to get through but go with the flow. I knew I wouldn't have the calm, happy, focused experience I wanted without the epi and decided to use it as a tool to get that experience. The anesthesiologist was in within 3 minutes of me asking the nurse for the epi. She was sweet and kind and did a beautiful job. My contractions were so strong as she placed it and my back was so tight that it took a little extra effort on her part. I warned her each time I felt a contraction coming on so she knew and just devoted everything in me to breathing and not moving (I didn't want to screw up the epi). Once placed it took about 2 more contractions before I started feeling relief.
The pressure never changed, just the pain level. I could breathe again and focus on sitting up and letting gravity work the baby down. My midwife popped in as the anesthesiologist was leaving and checked me, 9cm. 5cm progression in 30 minutes. I asked to get to a 10 and labor down until baby was pretty much crowning, she said no problem. An hour late I felt incredible pressure (My water came 3-4 more times as baby moved down, this is normal.) and called the nurse. She stayed with us since I was progressing so fast and called our midwife and said "I'm gonna make you run". My husband and the nurse picked up my legs for practice pushes. My midwife came in about 2 minutes late and gowned up. I was smiling and laughing through all of this by the way. There was tons of pressure but I wouldn't exactly call it pain and I was SO excited.
My delivery was perfect. Contraction came, I curled up and pushed as low as I could. I could feel where the pressure was and tried to direct the pushes at it through my bottom. It takes a little practice but you can do it. Really think of trying when you're struggling to pass gas and just do that. My midwife did a mineral oil stretch massage in between contractions. My baby was really moving down quickly, so as he started to emerge she told me to stop pushing and put baby shampoo all over his head to help make it slippery. My husband said she also put her fingers in and put a little oil on the sides to help stretch. On the final push (a whopping 8 minutes of pushing later...) he slipped out and started screaming. I had a little abrasion from delivery but no tears. My placenta slipped right out a few minutes later, I was bummed I didn't get to see it. We spent 2 hours in the room and had some lunch then went to urinate. I did have a urinary catheter before pushing so the first pee was quite uncomfortable but tolerable. It got easier every time and them pushing on my uterus to remove clots was never painful- just pressure and a little uncomfortable in PP but not dreadful.
PostPartum
My son latched as soon as I tried to feed him and it was just me and husband in the room. He has been feeding like a champ and has had a wonderful latch. Our hospital offers breastfeeding classes which were great- they showed a few holds, check for tongue ties and latch issues, and give some tips. We have been doing amazing since then.
I brought depends with me to the hospital and would put the huge maternity pads (they're like 1 1/2 feet long!) in them. I would put an ice pack inside the pad at first and just bleed over it, then later I started just sitting on the ice pack so I could have better absorbency. For me recovery was irritating because the hospital SUCKS. The bed moved for no reason to "prevent pressure sores" and would wake me up constantly. People always in the room, people doing tests. I cried for two hours straight because I missed my dogs and was scared I wouldn't love them anymore (hint: I do). Every time my son would settle to sleep someone came in to do a test or check him or me, waking him up. By the time we got home we CRASHED into the bed/bassinet and slept for three hours. I bawled my eyes out each time they took him out of the room (husband went wherever he went) and sobbed for two hours when they did our state PKU test (at 1 am...). Overall though everyone was kind and attentive, and I couldn't have had a better experience getting to know baby and rest before coming home.
Coming home is emotionally tough. I'm so happy to be here but it's hard. My husband is 1,000x more experienced with babies than me and it makes me feel irrationally inadequate. He's been amazing telling me I'm doing such a good job- I have a future linebacker apparently since all he wants to do is eat- He's almost back at his birth weight already. You may feel great the day after you get home. Try to rest anyways and don't overdo it- I overdid it then last night during our pattern of "eat for 40 minutes, sleep for 30-40, repeat" I was crying and really struggling. It's worth it, though, especially after hearing he's gaining.
It took 4 days for me to poop. Stool softeners are your friend. Coffee helped me in the end. My bum was swollen, so a few sitz baths, tucks pads, and patience really helped. It was not uncomfortable when it was time but DON'T force it out. Just be patient. Urinating is painful for me right now since my abrasion is very swollen and open. Even the peri bottle doesn't help it. I keep up with ibuprofen and witch hazel pads. I also use the numbing spray on my pad when I feel it's really bad. I have REALLY strong contractions and cramps when I nurse but my uterus has shrunk super quickly. I am not going to fit in my pre-pregnancy clothes for a while but I feel great about my body so far. I'm drinking a ton of water and nursing as much as possible. Once my scrape feels better I'll start walking with him more.
What worked for me:
Positivity. I laughed in between pushes. I didn't yell, I didn't cuss. I used the epi as a tool to achieve the positive experience I wanted. The most important thing to me (aside from safety) was welcoming him happily. For me the epi was the right choice ultimately, it calmed me and preserved my energy as I had gone 36 hours without sleep by the time I pushed.
I ate a PBJ right before leaving. I wish I had eaten more but was nauseous when I tried to eat at home. If you think you're going into labor I recommend you eat a couple of protein heavy snacks that are belly friendly, because you WILL get super hungry.
Zofran. This is an option at my hospital during labor. I was extremely nauseous during transition and was thankful to have it. You can always ask for it if you feel a little nauseous because things change rapidly during labor and being able to be flexible really helped me.
Football hold for breastfeeding. Pillows for feeding. Patience. Breathing during a bad latch when you're sore. Sticking with it, and more patience. My baby was a fast learner but not everyone will be so lucky. Soak in lanolin- So much lanolin. I just letting my breasts hang out and let it soak in/air dry and tried to remember it's just the latch that was uncomfortable when he messed up. I would pull him in closer and check the bottom of his chin to make sure it was deep enough.
Nursing camis that unsnap. I wear these all the time and just let everything hang out and dry. It makes feeding in front of visitors much easier.
Cloth diapers as burp clothes and milk-catchers. My milk came in super quickly and I drip while I feed him.
Onesies that have finger/hand covers. We don't have nearly enough and our little guy refuses to be swaddled arms in. He loves having his hands by his face but scratches even though we filed his nails.
Letting my husband be involved. He was an unbelievable support system. He encouraged me. He held my hand. He said I was doing amazing and he was so proud of me. He told me to take a deep breath and focus, and encouraged me to just stay calm and listen to the midwife during pushing. He watched the whole time I pushed- seeing him tear up and tell me he could see the baby's hair made me want to push that much harder. He was amazing and bawled his eyes out with me when our baby was born. He is still amazing and so in love with our baby.
Ultimately, flexibility worked for me. I dreamt of an unmedicated labor/delivery in a squatted position- I said I absolutely did not want to deliver on my back. I labored primarily on my back between when I labored at home and when I was in the hospital. I delivered on my back and it was perfect anyways.
A positive attitude, because not all experiences are the same and you can't predict it. Labor is hard. It's tiring, it's not comfortable. But you can do it. My experience was beautiful and happy. The lady in the triage room next to me was screaming for an epidural at 2cm. I saw her in the breastfeeding class and she was NOT in the same place as I was. Do what you have to do to stay positive and relaxed. Strengthen your body as well as your mind during pregnancy and take it one contraction at a time. Staying focused on the end goal made it so much easier.
My baby is starting to wake up so I will leave you with this for now. Please contact me/message me if you have any questions. I am an open book! I don't have pictures uploaded yet and I doubt I will post them on here with this being a public forum. But pictures of my baby won't help you prepare for your experience anyways. You're in the driver's seat of this journey and your baby will be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in your life. The wait is long, (and full of terrors), and pregnancy was miserable for me but I feel totally different now. The sciatic pain was gone instantly, the epi helped that! I feel amazing even when he's screaming in the middle of pooppocalypse 2015 (really. He explosively pooped, peed, and pooped again as soon as his diaper was removed last night).
Emotionally it is hard with the mood swings. All in all it was so worth it, I'm so in love, and will be doing it again... in 2 to 4 years....
Good luck. Believe in yourself, your family, and don't make too many rules for yourself.