Under stimulated baby: is it concerning???

[momof2napril]

Okay prefacing with my sister in law love each other and respect all choices the other makes!

I’m just looking for opinions, experience or research!

I feel like I’m our home we live a very calm life. We don’t run the TV all day, music is calm if any, we don’t fill our days so full that we’re out and about all the time, we don’t take on anything that might be inconvenient or overwhelming, etc. my sis in law seems like - to me and hubby - the opposite. They’re super busy all the time with out of home things, and their kids are always doing something provided by the parents (zoo trip to another city on the weekend, next weekend another thing, next weekend hockey tournament, one after that is birthday party, etc.)

Personally I feel that her little ones kind of expect to be entertained, if that makes sense. They constantly have something going on and have for years. This is totally fine! But she said something the other day and I can’t get it out of my head… my daughter has 1 “noisy toy” that sings songs. It sounds like a slot machine to me lol… she likes it sometimes, but I send a video to sis in law the other day and I said my daughter was a bit fussy all day but the “magic puppy” (noisy toy” seemed to cure it.

Sis in law says “Yes! Babies need a lot of stimulation!”

So now all I can think is…. What if my baby isn’t stimulated enough? Is this a thing? She watched some TV shows (I like the animated books, hey bear, etc while j make dinner) but am I being silly? I feel like there’s a correlation between being super stimulated and needing MORE stimulation? Am I being silly???

 

[midas]

@momof2napril They definitely need a lot of stimulation, but babies are stimulated by everything! Watching you cook, sitting outside, going on a walk, listening to you talk, exploring the house, etc. We’re more similar to your household and prefer it! Our girl is happy to play quietly in the living room and we have few noisy toys. She loves music and just hanging out with my husband and I! We also spend a lot of time outside and that seems to tire her out quite a bit! Whenever I get anxious about parenting choices I remind myself that a couple hundred years ago there were no noisy toys or trips to the zoo, so our kiddos will be fine without them! (We do also love the zoo though haha!)

 

[ddavis]

@midas I always think of the simple
Wooden toys pioneer children played with too hahaha

 

[momof2napril]

@midas Yes this sounds like us! I look forward to zoo trips though as well. For us it’ll be a nice packed lunch and looking at animals, for hers it’s face paint and noise makers and extra candy/pop haha. Different strokes I guess!

 

[congnh2412]

@momof2napril No way! A calm, quiet environment isn't "under-stimulating". I would say under-stimulation would be something like not providing any toys/books/decor, no outside time, no conversation, basically neglect. Clearly that's not what's happening here. Honestly babies get enraptured watching a ceiling fan, and they get over-stimulated easily, so there's no way you're under-stimulating your kid. I think you just have a very different personality from your SIL, which is ok.

My husband and I are like you; I can't have tv on in the background, we take batteries out of toys if they can't be muted (I'd prefer no battery operated toys, but my toddler loves them), we're just generally quiet people. I take our toddler out for activities every day, but more than 1-2 things is overwhelming, I need downtime! My cousin's family is like your SIL, always going somewhere, noisy toys and kids, always someone shouting etc. Neither household is better than the other, just different things for different people.

 

[seemypdf]

@congnh2412 Oh my gosh the shouting households lol. Drives me crazy, I think my hearing is sensitive. Our first daycare was like that and I had to take her out.

 

[racheldiane]

@seemypdf My husband’s family is just LOUD. I had to develop a signal to my husband early in our relationship to lower the volume of his voice because it was too much for me. They aren’t yelling, they just have a totally different base volume level than I grew up with.

 

[chuck64]

@racheldiane I was like that when I met my husband too. Now when I go visit my own family it gets overwhelming

 

[livinggrace]

@racheldiane It's me. I'm your husband. I'm not yelling.. I'm just from Jersey.

 

[racheldiane]

@livinggrace My husband’s mom is from Philly so that tracks.

 

[mat77]

@livinggrace Long island here. It's me too.

Also - I'm constantly overstimulated by all the loudness in my house but then I remembered ... They get it from me. It's my recently diagnosed ADHD (I'm working on getting meds. I've just been pregnant lol)

 

[laila28]

@racheldiane My partner is like this. His whole family lol. He and his mom have worked in a factory for along time. And when he get animated he will keep getting louder and louder

 

[patie]

@congnh2412 Well said

My husband and I are quiet people, too. I can't handle the loud yelling households

 

[momof2napril]

@congnh2412 THANK YOU. Your comment articulates all of what I tried to say. We have quiet toys, 1-2 things a day, we go out lots but it’s on walks or to do 1 required errand usually, rarely piggy backing a walk unless it’s a new park, I feel like my girl is sk happy but sometimes I wonder if more “noise” would benefit her when we’re with our family and she gets overwhelmed after an hour or two, it makes me feel bad to take her to another room because she’s a baby and everyone wants to hang with her haha but like… she needs to chill

 

[onetruechurch4]

@momof2napril Is your baby meeting all the expected milestones and thriving in her growth and development? If the answer is yes then what you’re doing is fine.

It’s just different parenting/family dynamics. If your SIL is more a extroverted and “on the go” person in general it makes sense she would want to keep the kids busy because that’s what she’s used to. I’m the same, always going and doing things. My sister is more introverted and they spend a lot of weekends at home just relaxing as a family and doing stuff around the house.

There’s no wrong answer as long as the kids are thriving developmentally

 

[momof2napril]

@onetruechurch4 Thank you!!! I’m actually a huge extrovert and I spent a decade as a restaurant manager pre baby so my job WAS to talk and be “on” all the time and be go go go, I guess having a little one now has really just not made me want to sign up to “struggle” through anything. If it’s going to cause problems with her naps, her crying in her car, her wanting to be at home and calm - I just don’t bother

 

[katrina2017]

@momof2napril No, you're doing fine. Babies do need stimulation, but that doesn't mean they need to be surrounded by battery toys. Simulation is you playing with baby, talking to baby, singing while you're in the room, responding to baby when they try to get your attention, giving baby a variety of play things and letting them figure out ways to use them.

My baby has 1 battery toy that she loved at 8m, i definitely pulled it out because she stayed entertained by it alone longer, i needed a break sometimes, you know?

I have found that the more battery toys a child has, the more they use them, and aren't as interested in the toys that aren't automatic. Some family's value the go go go lifestyle, i don't, (not that there is anything wrong with it) but yeah, i think it's a self fulfilling cycle.

I took my 13m to the zoo today, she wasn't that interested, she didn't "get" it. But my 25m nephew LOVED it.

 

[momof2napril]

@katrina2017 Yes! I actually got the battery toy as a gift and my girl hated tummy time so I used it to keep her interest while on her tummy, and we take it on road trips as our “emergency” toy in case she’s upset in her seat. The novelty probably helps.

I read or heard somewhere Active toy produces inactive play. Inactive toys create active play. aka the more a toy does the less a child will play. The less a toy does the more a child will play with it.

 

[christiantunescafe]

@momof2napril How old are your kids and how old are their kids? Under 12/18 months I would say we were the same as you. Very relaxed, let baby entertain herself a lot, let her fit around us and didn’t go out of our way to keep her entertained.

She’s 4 now and I have to have at least one activity planned per day or she will be crawling the walls. It might just be a bike ride or trip to the local park but we also have local zoo membership, soft play and we sometimes do day trips. It’s a lot easier to keep her entertained out of the house where she has the space to run and explore.