Two miscarriages and really long cycles - Losing hope

[blessed2day]

I’m so frustrated. I’m 35F, been trying for a baby since last year. I got pregnant twice - First time last fall after we just decided we wanted to start trying (literally first cycle). At the 8 weeks ultrasound I was told that the baby hadn’t grown past 6w, so I had to get a D&C. In February I got pregnant again. Same thing happened. Went to get an ultrasound at 9 weeks and baby hadn’t grown past 7 weeks. Another D&C (for some reason I don’t even naturally miscarry).

After those two miscarriages my OBGYN recommended we wait for 2-3 cycles to start trying again. That is right now. And I’m so frustrated. My cycles are soooooo long. All of my cycles are like 35-42 days long. Meaning I get fewer chances to actually get pregnant.

I’ve been using ovulation test strips this month to make sure we don’t miss the window. Today I’m on CD23 (meaning day 23 of my cycle). Been testing twice every day for a week and nothing. Meaning I will have an extra long cycle this month I guess. Are cycles of 35-40+ days even normal? On top of that, I’m 35 and already had two miscarriages in the past year. OBGYN said I was just really unlucky and should just keep trying.

It’s so frustrating though. Guess this is just a vent but I’m sad. Sad it will never happen. Thanks for reading.

 

[reb2014]

@blessed2day Long, irregular cycles are pretty typical of PCOS as well as some evidence that miscarriages are more common. Have you discussed PCOS with your gyno? I would switch to an RE ASAP and ask for a recurrent loss panel, blood tests and an ultrasound to look for PCOS and ovulation inducing drugs to shorten your cycles and make it more predictable (clomid or letrozole). Once you get pregnant, progesterone and baby aspirin might help? Sorry you're going through this, wishing you all the best!

 

[blessed2day]

@reb2014 Thank you! I have actually, and I don’t have PCOS.

 

[viettransdt]

@reb2014 How does baby aspirin help? I'm taking it currently because I've read online it helps (I have PCOS) But can never find a good reason why it helps.

 

[reb2014]

@viettransdt Baby aspirin is to help with recurrent pregnancy loss. It's a blood thinner so it helps reduce/prevent blood clots.
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/27/...y-miscarriage.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

 

[michaelkep]

@blessed2day I’ve been venting about this all week as I sit at a 50+ day cycle. All I think about is how much time is passing and things aren’t happening. I hear you, and you aren’t alone.

 

[stefanm]

@michaelkep Me too. Me too

 

[jeanasmall]

@blessed2day I’m so sorry for your losses. Can you request an RPL? You should be allowed to get one after 2 losses

 

[nlu]

@blessed2day I'm sorry for you losses. I can relate to the frustration and sadness. Having a miscarriage is such a miserable experience and having multiple in a row makes it hard to feel like it will ever work. Everything feels like it takes so long, only to end up right back where you started.

As someone else mentioned you could ask for a repeat pregnancy loss panel. A lot of guidelines suggest giving people one after two losses now. Many providers will still only do them after three. The panel will test a few different things, like your thyroid function, blood clotting disorder, uterine anomalies and karyotype. You can find more info here: https://www.eshre.eu/Guidelines-and-Legal/Patients. Just scroll down to management of recurrent loss.

This sometimes makes me feel better and sometimes doesn't, but even with unexplained RPL the odds of eventual success are still better then not. This calculator helped me when I was feeling particularly despairy. https://www.miscarriagetool.tommys.org/

Your cycle is considered irregular if it's less than 21 days or longer than 35 days. I'm not as informed on irregular periods though. You could ask to be tested for PCOS.

I'm sorry this is where you are at. It's a hard place to be.

 

[viettransdt]

@blessed2day Talk to your OB about getting bloodwork and an ultrasound to scan for PCOS. You can also go to an RE to get an RPL panel, ive had one done (it was all normal, it seemed to boil down to my PCOS and just bad luck) they'll run an ANA test bcs you may have an auto immune disorder which may be causing MC's. I highly suggest you get checked out for PCOS tho if nothing else

 

[rev411]

@blessed2day I’m so so sorry. Miscarriages are brutal and I can’t imagine having to do a D&C 2x. It does sound you have longer cycles, but only a week or so. Mine are usually around 30 days (26-32). Have you seen an RE? After 2 MCs my OB suggested a reproductive endocrinologist and working with a fertility specialty clinic.

 

[angela1963]

@blessed2day I was under the impression that cycles up to 40 days were normal, and anything longer than that was not. But I could be wrong.

 

[jbruns14]

@blessed2day Long cycles are awful - I've been actively trying since January but because of long cycles and a CP I've only really had 5 cycles to actually try. It's incredibly disheartening just knowing that nothing is happening.

 

[kenneth327]

@blessed2day Hi! I'm 34, started ttc last year, and have also had 2 miscarriages. I just started with a fertility clinic and we're going through tests to help determine if there is a cause for recurring miscarriage or just bad luck. My obgyn recommended I go to them since they have a lot more specialized knowledge. I think they'll also be able to monitor future pregnancies more closely. I'm still in the beginning stages of the process, but I'd recommend it!