Turning 30, thinking about quitting law school after my first semester to start a family. Advice?

[tim_o]

@ladyghosthunter My answer is a little twofold here. The TL;DR is yes, I think you should have an identity outside of being a mom, but that doesn’t mean you have to go to law school unless you actually want to be a lawyer, because that is too much debt to take “just in case.”

Longer version: I think if you don’t want to be a lawyer having a JD would not be beneficial. Never go to grad school if you don’t know what you’re going to do with it—the extra debt and time spent on it is NOT WORTH IT. I’m speaking as an MBA student graduating now. That said, if you want to be a lawyer, pay for law grads is high so you could work hard for a few years to pay that off. Frankly, professional degrees like MBAs and JDs are about ROI (what you’ll make after the degree) and are priced accordingly so I would do that math before you commit.

I agree with your mom that it’s important to have a life outside of your children and being a mom. I also think it’s important to have a career and your own money in case something happens with your marriage. Life happens and you don’t know what’s down the line - divorce, your spouse falls ill,etc. You don’t want to be stuck in a position where you don’t have a career to lean on to take care of your family. That doesn’t mean you have to be a lawyer if you don’t want to be though, just that you may want to have some past work experience. You might already since you have a college degree, but if you went straight from bachelors to law school, I’d maybe try a different career if you’re not super excited about law school.

 

[alexsonofmatthew%E2%80%A0]

@ladyghosthunter I'm an attorney with $250K+ in debt. A few thoughts -

I agree with your mom on having your own identity. I haven't always actively practiced (also did other jobs where having a JD gave me a huge advantage). I'm really glad I have it - it's something no one can take away from you, it gives you higher earning power, and you'll have something to keep you intellectually challenged. It can be really tempting to quit in your first year and the practice of law is very different from law school. That all being said, it's completely your decision.

I also had multiple friends in my year successfully have children while in law school (one finished a final and went directly into labor). It's going to be a challenge either way whether you do it in school or just starting out in your career - you just have to make sure you have the support. You also might have to wait to start maternity leave until you've been in a new job for a year (plus time to take the bar). Also, 32 definitely isn't too old, but of course that's up to you if you don't want to wait.

Most attorneys I know have a lot of debt. Unfortunately it's the reality for a lot of us, but there are ways to deal with it (I'm doing the public service loan forgiveness program). Don't let it scare you if you feel like law school is what you want to do.

Ultimately, having children is going to be a challenge whether you're in school or just starting out in your career, so if you want to do it now and have the support you need to be successful, it's possible! I always want to believe we don't have to choose between being fulfilled in our careers and families, so more power to you whatever you decide.

 

[pixielee]

@ladyghosthunter Quit!!!! Don’t do it!!!! Go into tech!!!

 

[pixielee]

I should add I just graduated from law school and am a newly minted attorney haha

 

[rodneyaj]

@ladyghosthunter I am going to pile on to what pretty much everyone else is saying because this is super important but in my experience it's almost impossible to talk anyone out of going to law school!

1. Don't go to law school unless you actually want to be a lawyer. Don't go just because you're not sure what else to do, or because you want something to do. It is so much work and so much debt and so much stress.
2. I am an attorney with $130k in law school debt. Even that amount - which is half what you would have - is very stressful. Without IBR, my monthly loan payment would be $1400. That's what a month of daycare costs in my city. I am working towards PSLF but still years away from that. It's like a millstone around my neck. I am considering quitting for a few years when I have a kid but that would push my PSLF off even further. Which brings me to --

3. Your debt will impact your kid's quality of life. That $250k you spend paying off your own debt, could be their college fund. Think about what you are not spending on your kids when you are paying a bank back for the next 10-20 years. You could still be paying it off while you are sending a kid to college!

4. Having a JD does not feel empowering. I honestly envy our legal secretaries/paralegals a lot because they can go to work, do their job, and then leave it at the office. There are a million other jobs you can do to have an identity outside of having kids that don't require $250k in debt.

5. All that being said, if you continue in law school, you can have a kid in law school and that would for sure be easier than having a kid in your first years of practice. It would also be easier than going to law school, taking time off to have a kid, and then trying to find a job in your mid thirties with no relevant experience while competing with people a decade younger and hungrier than you.