@tiffanycox This is awesome, thank you!
Toddler throwing a tantrum because I cut his pb&j. Do I make a new one or stick to my guns?
orthodoxcatholic
New member
@tiffanycox This! They are ridiculous, but they also sometimes just want to be heard. I am a 36 year old who also sometimes gets cranky about dumb shit, and sometimes I just need someone to say, "girl youre right, that sucks," so i can move on.
@tiffanycox Oh wise one, what do I say when the tantrum is over using the wrong cup for a smoothie? Seems the simple solution is to just pour into the correct cup, but sometimes that’s still not right and I’m not washing 3 cups and don’t love the idea of giving in either. I’ve been letting him work through it all but it sometimes results in a major meltdown…
@_epoh_ I am so far from wise but rule 1 is never leave your cupboards open so kids can see cup options. Haha I have been burned by that too many times.
I usually just say, "I'm sorry this isn't the cup you want, but if you want this smoothie you have to use this cup, otherwise I'll put the smoothie in the fridge until you're ready for it". Usually wanting the smoothie wins out over wanting a specific cup.
I usually just say, "I'm sorry this isn't the cup you want, but if you want this smoothie you have to use this cup, otherwise I'll put the smoothie in the fridge until you're ready for it". Usually wanting the smoothie wins out over wanting a specific cup.
@mamabdog Ugh. We put them in a low drawer so he could get stuff himself (which for the most part is helpful especially since I’m 34 weeks pregnant now). But we also struggle with him finding a dirty cup from earlier, and sometimes he sees clean ones in the dish rack.
And I consistently do that but he screams that he doesn’t want the smoothie and then has a massive meltdown because he does, just not in that cup.
And I consistently do that but he screams that he doesn’t want the smoothie and then has a massive meltdown because he does, just not in that cup.
@_epoh_ Same sort of thing. 'Oh, you really wanted that other cup, huh? And I put it in the cup you don't want. That's making you really sad/upset/frustrated/disappointed, because the other cup is your favorite cup.'
It sounds SO DUMB and I'm not saying it will work 100% of the time, but it is SHOCKING how often this works.
Sometimes I follow it with something like 'I'm sorry I used the wrong cup, but I don't want to dirty another cup now, so you can drink this, or I can put it in the fridge for later'. But often I don't have to. Literally the acknowledgement of their feelings is enough.
It sounds SO DUMB and I'm not saying it will work 100% of the time, but it is SHOCKING how often this works.
Sometimes I follow it with something like 'I'm sorry I used the wrong cup, but I don't want to dirty another cup now, so you can drink this, or I can put it in the fridge for later'. But often I don't have to. Literally the acknowledgement of their feelings is enough.
secret_catholic
New member
@_epoh_ My solution to this is taking my daughter over by the sink/dishwasher and showing her it’s dirty and that we can’t use it right now. Usually this does the trick if I pinky promise to let her start the dishwasher (aka show her which button to press so she can start it herself). If she’s still not drinking it from the “wrong” cup I just let her work it out herself and if she’s in a throwing mood I take it and let her calm down
blessedbeyondbelief
New member
@blessedbeyondbelief This works like half the time for us. It’s probably because we typically do smoothies after nap and he’s hangry…
@tiffanycox I second this. I use this method for everything (thanks Janet Lansbury) and it's magic.
thebeatensaint
New member
@tiffanycox This! My kid has gotten upset when she’s broken a piece off food off, or I have, or the damn thing falls apart on its own. She’ll start crying at me to fix it, but I tell her, ’I know it upsets you right now, but it will fix itself in your tummy’. Sometimes she’ll eat it, sometimes she won’t, but just remember, if you do remake it, there might be something wrong with that one too.
Toddlers are insane.
Toddlers are insane.
@tiffanycox I’ve tried this. My kid just cried at me to put it back together and doesn’t believe me when I tell him it’s not possible. This may depend a little on the age and what they understand in terms of what’s impossible.
mirrorcorona
New member
@tiffanycox This is so true, their little bodies just can’t deal with emotions, the emotions all seem so big. You or I might be miffed that someone didn’t do some little thing to our sandwich like we wanted, but whatever we get over it. But for a toddler that disappointment feels HUGE because they’re so tiny. Validating their emotions in this way is exactly what you should do. Stick to you guns and don’t make another sandwich, but help them work through that emotion a lot faster with some validation and support.
@tiffanycox I'm totally going to use the uncutter next time!
Just yesterday, I tore my daughter's donut in half so she wouldn't make so much of a mess in the car and she lost her mind. I just told her, "I'm sorry I broke your donut, I did not know you wanted to eat your donut whole. Next time I will ask before I break your donut." She still cried for another 20 minutes, but after she was telling herself, "it's okay, momma did not know"
Just yesterday, I tore my daughter's donut in half so she wouldn't make so much of a mess in the car and she lost her mind. I just told her, "I'm sorry I broke your donut, I did not know you wanted to eat your donut whole. Next time I will ask before I break your donut." She still cried for another 20 minutes, but after she was telling herself, "it's okay, momma did not know"
@tiffanycox Same for me! I am so proud of her!