Toddler throwing a tantrum because I cut his pb&j. Do I make a new one or stick to my guns?

[rae29]

I have no idea how to apporach this. I don't want to be too permissive, but I also don't want him to think that he'll get everything he wants... ugh.

 

[helivesinyou]

@rae29 I've got to be honest here. Sometimes I'm just like well sucks for you bruh. Must not be very hungry then. Then I just let the little stinker work through the stages of grief for his ruined sandwich. Lmao

 

[andypandy81]

@helivesinyou há!! i literally will say “let’s grieve together, i’m here with you through the feelings”

 

[wildsurrender]

@andypandy81 A tip that worked well for me is to show a little emotion yourself, to commiserate. As if your friend was complaining about their crappy boss. Just a bit though, you should be calm inside, only performing the emotion as a show of sympathy.

: Aw that sucks! You must be really mad!

Rather than

: I see you're upset, because of the sandwich.

The too-calm reaction can set my kid off worse! Depends on the kid of course. And it is important to stay low energy yourself.

 

[katrina2017]

@wildsurrender This is a wise tidbit.

 

[little1]

@helivesinyou Yeah, same. I pretty much say as much to her. Often after she works out her feelings she'll eat it...or not, and I save it for later (or eat it myself)

 

[adsesewa]

@little1 I've seen this too. Pop the kid out to the porch for five, ten minutes. Bring him back. In that time, he forgot he was mad at the yogurt for being served wrong and he's happy to eat it.

 

[kelligagnon]

@helivesinyou Pretty much same. I'll apologize to him about cutting it, but not make him a new one.

 

[relaxbuddy]

@kelligagnon I would not apologize for cutting my child’s sandwich.

 

[dollapy]

@helivesinyou Same. My kid sometimes throws fits because he’s hungry, and then throws his food. He DOES NOT like to be told when to eat.

I’m learning this type of discipline best from my mom, tbh. She watches him while I wfh, and at first I thought it was mean because he didn’t know better, but that’s how they learn!

He does get his food back, but after he’s calmed down lol. We put it in the center of the table, let him throw a fit, and go on with our meals. Still happens sometimes, but he’s gotten a lot better.

 

[natsys]

@dollapy Our son would happily throw anything about if he was being particularly stroppy. We were watching Spidey and friends one day and the hulk was getting too angry and had to take a breath and count to 5 to calm down. Tried that with him when he was getting worked up and surprisingly it worked, ot at least distracted him enough that it became less of a problem. Spose they all have to learn how to control their emotions and the frustration that comes with it.

 

[fruttis]

@helivesinyou Same. Unless I’m in the mood for a pb&j lol

 

[psc303]

@fruttis Yes haha. Though I do usually ask. Another key trick to getting them to eat their own food.

 

[curtiscurrier]

@helivesinyou This is the way.

When stages of grief are for a sandwhich you can work up to things. If there’s never stages then when things actually go awry it’s too much to handle.

Just be chill, don’t emotionally react or meet them where they are. It will pass.

 

[merri]

@helivesinyou Yup, same. I doubt I'd make my girl a new one... Like ever tbh. I might tell her I'll ask next time but this time you gotta eat it how I've already prepared it. Lol.

 

[jake520520]

@helivesinyou This!! When my threenager is being unreasonable I give two choices. Eat this sandwich or don’t eat. She suddenly loses her attitude and eats, or whatever it is.

 

[msavage]

@helivesinyou Yes agreed might not be that hungry, I would save it and give it a later time. There could be something else they might be upset about an this just threw them over the emotional cliff.

 

[tiffanycox]

@rae29 You may have already done this. In my experience validating your kid’s indignation even when it’s over something seeming silly like this helps them move on. I would say “Ugh. You really wanted a whole sandwich then I went and cut it without thinking to ask. How disappointing that it’s not whole anymore! I wish I had an uncutter that would put it back together!”

I know it sounds kind of ridiculous, but kids are ridiculous and this method is almost always stops tantrums in their tracks in my experience.

 

[kaleighla]

@tiffanycox Uncutter… this is genius - using it thank you

 

[aaron42]

@kaleighla My kid went through a phase of demanding that I uncut her sandwich. I can't help but think that coining the term and tool will lead to the demand that you go out and buy said 'uncutter'. Then I remind myself if it isn't that a kid will find something to have a tantrum over, whether they get what they want or not. Best just buy earplugs and work through the disappointment with them.