The world is not made for single parents

[pastorjoseph]

@fall1971 I'm in the same situation and I found a very flexible job working as a substitute teacher. There's enough work to work daily if you want, but if you need time off you can just take that day. Also, you get the same days off as your kids (school holidays, etc). Pay is abysmal though - it's a tradeoff.

 

[isaiah4318]

@jebusofdenmark Can you take a longer lunch and then work later?

 

[emoss3]

@jebusofdenmark Check with your local bus transportation company. A young man taking a bus is not a problem - from a bus operator

 

[jebusofdenmark]

@emoss3 Thank you, but we live in a very rural area. We don't have public transit out here.

 

[emoss3]

@jebusofdenmark Find another parent your son can ride with, make sure to give them $ for gas. Most will refuse it anyways, but the gesture is nice.

 

[zaulux]

@jebusofdenmark Or is there anyone in his school that also has drum ? Anyway you could even take turns with another parent? Sometimes sharing the load makes it a little easier if u can find someone ..

 

[jebusofdenmark]

@zaulux He has a friend whom he was getting rides from on occasion, but that friend wrecked their car this week.

 

[zaulux]

@jebusofdenmark Oh I'm sorry to hear that .. hopefully someone else can help

 

[chw777]

@jebusofdenmark This is why I work nights. It sucks, but it is what it is until it isn't.

 

[merywilson]

@jebusofdenmark Can you pay someone to drive him home from practice? Iknow people around here pay babysitters mainly for the transport to and from activities when it is older kids and they can’t do all the driving because of work schedules.

 

[naga888]

@jebusofdenmark I used to bike with my hockey bag to summer hockey camp when my mom couldn’t leave work.

Could he ride a bike? E-bike or scooter?

Carpool with another kid in the band? Maybe in exchange for some gas $

You could ask the band director if she has ideas - maybe she knows some parents who would be willing to carpool? Or maybe she knows what other families are doing for transportation?

Do you have a neighbor or anyone in town who would drive for a small payment each day?

Could you hire a “babysitter” for an hour per day to drive him?

 

[treisee]

@jebusofdenmark I haven't been in band for 20 years, but the band is a VERY tight-knit group. That will be his "school family" until graduation.

That being said, talk to the band director and/or drum instructor. They prob won't/can't give him a ride themselves, but can intro you to some other band parents that can assist. They may even have a Facebook group or something you could reach out to. It seems weird, but you are going to get to know a lot of those kids and their parents really well in the coming years.

 

[barcud]

@jebusofdenmark I have no advice.just hang in there. I hope you find a solution.

 

[ccardenas]

@jebusofdenmark I was in drum line in school, we all gave each other rides when our parents couldn't for whatever reason. I know this was 20 years ago and maybe things are different, but we always had each other's backs and stuff in band and it felt like a family. Your son should talk to his fellow band mates, offer whoever is driving him some gas dollars.

 

[lostinthedarkness]

@jebusofdenmark I often feel this way, but then I think about all my friends who have nuclear families and remember they're in the same boat - 2 parents working full time still have to figure it out, and it often falls on mom to pick up the slack (not always, but that's the way society generally leans)

Then I think back to when I was with my daughters father (albeit, only briefly), it was still expected that I would work my schedule around my daughter, because he couldn't (or wouldn't- take your pick).

Of course, it does help to have a two income family where one taking some time off doesn't have so much of an impact financially, so I can definitely see where you might be coming from there.

Point is, I think parenting in general is fkn hard. Society expects parents to be everywhere and do everything - raise kids like we dont work, and work like we dont have kids. We want to do the right thing by our kids, but still maintain our independence and individuality. It's a lot for anyone.

I know it probably doesn't help to solve your problem, so sometimes reframing my thought process like this makes me feel a little bit better.

Hope you find a good solution

 

[mark19801]

@jebusofdenmark Can he not ride a bike or you offer gas money to a parent to have your child carpool? There are solutions to this that I'm sure will work out for both of you. If anything, both of you are going to have to leave the house early to get him to practice and maybe pick him up during lunch, or a friend takes him home?

 

[paulaclc]

@jebusofdenmark I sympathize. My sons dad doesn’t even work & during conference week I asked if he could help with picking my son up since it was early release. The 2nd day he slept past the time he was supposed to be there for my son. I can’t rely on him at all, it’s all on me which can get extremely stressful.

Would he be able to ride a bike to the closest bus stop or is that even too far?

 

[superwarrior]

@jebusofdenmark

It just always feels like the world is not set up for the success of single parents.

Because it isn’t. It’s set up for wealthy people with spouses, family, nannies and housekeepers.

Can your son take the bus? Carpool w a friend? It should be fine to drop him off early though. You’re doing great.

 

[mojoboy31]

@jebusofdenmark All you need to do is Pray about it, and trust God. He has been here every step of the way for me, and my life. I raised 3 kiddos alone. Everything will be okay. Don’t stress.
Try it and watch. worry about nothing- Pray about everything.

 

[tolch]

@jebusofdenmark It's really hard with activities in those early teen years until they start driving. You have some good suggestions here already, I just want to say that my son's first year or two of high school I lost so much business due to bad scheduling and no notice of times from one particular coach. It was really frustrating. I dont think teachers/coaches really consider what they're asking of parents. And then if you say anything you're "not committed"
I've found people on care.com who are abl to give transportation etc. You might be able to find someone to give rides in any organization you're a part of. Maybe another teen looking for a little cash just for getting him home etc. The other thing I haven't seen mentioned is make your son responsible for finding a ride home or a place to wait on 1-2 days a week, he might come up with something brilliant.