winddancersong
New member
Hi everyone. I’m 6 days postpartum and struggling to make a decision one way or the other with respect to breastfeeding or exclusively formula and hoping some wise words will strike a chord for me.
Some background - I had a breast reduction about ten years ago and during pregnancy was only able to collect the tiniest amounts of colostrum. My son was born on Tuesday by c-section. He had blood glucose issues that nearly sent him to the NICU, so I supplemented with donor breast milk while still getting him to latch on. It was so hard and all he did was cry and cry (he was 9 lbs, 10 ounces at birth and so so hungry, and I just didn’t have enough for him). We got home on Thursday, and we picked up some formula on the way home because I was terrified his blood sugar issues would return if I tried to EBF. For the last 4 days, we were just formula and neither of us minded it. I didn’t even bother trying to get him to latch because it felt so futile.
This morning, I woke up to some lumpier breasts and figured my milk must be coming in. I tried pumping and got almost nothing, but I was able to collect maybe 1/3 ounce with a Haakaa. I felt so proud of myself and my body. But at the same time, my kid eats between 2-4 ounces of formula per feeding, every 3 hours. I know I probably could get my supply up enough to reduce my reliance on formula, but I just can’t imagine having enough to exclusively breastfeed.
I want to do what’s best for both of us, but I can’t help but feel like a failure. Part of me feels like I should try, but another part of me wonders at what cost. And is my clock ticking in terms of getting my milk to dry up easily, if I do decide to switch to formula? I’m not in pain yet and my breasts aren’t engorged or anything, so is it better to cut my losses now and save myself some trouble down the line?
I almost wish I’d never had any milk come in at all, to save myself the trouble of having to choose. Now, though, I have at least some choice and I don’t know what to do. Any thoughts, advice, been there & done that would be welcome!
ETA: Wow, I have been completely blown away by how many of y’all took the time to read my post and respond. Thank you so very much. Obviously, I haven’t come to any decisions in the last two hours, but truly and from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate everyone sharing their stories and perspectives to help me suss out my own.
Some background - I had a breast reduction about ten years ago and during pregnancy was only able to collect the tiniest amounts of colostrum. My son was born on Tuesday by c-section. He had blood glucose issues that nearly sent him to the NICU, so I supplemented with donor breast milk while still getting him to latch on. It was so hard and all he did was cry and cry (he was 9 lbs, 10 ounces at birth and so so hungry, and I just didn’t have enough for him). We got home on Thursday, and we picked up some formula on the way home because I was terrified his blood sugar issues would return if I tried to EBF. For the last 4 days, we were just formula and neither of us minded it. I didn’t even bother trying to get him to latch because it felt so futile.
This morning, I woke up to some lumpier breasts and figured my milk must be coming in. I tried pumping and got almost nothing, but I was able to collect maybe 1/3 ounce with a Haakaa. I felt so proud of myself and my body. But at the same time, my kid eats between 2-4 ounces of formula per feeding, every 3 hours. I know I probably could get my supply up enough to reduce my reliance on formula, but I just can’t imagine having enough to exclusively breastfeed.
I want to do what’s best for both of us, but I can’t help but feel like a failure. Part of me feels like I should try, but another part of me wonders at what cost. And is my clock ticking in terms of getting my milk to dry up easily, if I do decide to switch to formula? I’m not in pain yet and my breasts aren’t engorged or anything, so is it better to cut my losses now and save myself some trouble down the line?
I almost wish I’d never had any milk come in at all, to save myself the trouble of having to choose. Now, though, I have at least some choice and I don’t know what to do. Any thoughts, advice, been there & done that would be welcome!
ETA: Wow, I have been completely blown away by how many of y’all took the time to read my post and respond. Thank you so very much. Obviously, I haven’t come to any decisions in the last two hours, but truly and from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate everyone sharing their stories and perspectives to help me suss out my own.