Stories of moving back in with your parent?

[wf1980]

1 (29F) was laid off from a job I thought was going to turn into an incredible career for myself and l'm finding it difficult and unfulfilling to be looking at other jobs. I currently live in a small town and only have my Associate degree.

I have two kiddos, 7M and 9M, and I wonder if going back to my moms is the move at this point. I think the education system, while I love the school we're in, would offer more opportunities and is more prestigious. My goal as a parent is to make sure my kids will be able to grow up and do whatever it is they want and a good school is important. My moms house is also walking distance from a community college that I could earn some credits back with and then transfer to a Bachelors program.

I feel saddened by the idea of "giving up" and letting someone help take care of me but I don't know what to responsibly do anymore. I have lived where I am for 7 years and it's hard to let go.

Additional information: I do have sole legal and physical custody.

ETA: I’m not replying to everyone because it’s hard lol but I’m reading everything and it’s helping. Thank you. Even more “do it’s” are just kinda like ugh yeah. I can pay off my credit cards and obtain my bachelor degree. I’m so scared that it won’t make a long term difference but neither will staying where I’m at I guess

 

[bieber]

@wf1980 Do it!!! Depending on your relationship with mom this could be a wonderful chapter in everyone’s lives. Also gives you a free babysitter at night while they’re all asleep and you can either do night classes or even just go out! We used to be communal peoples, don’t let the last 40 years of reality trip you out on this too much

 

[noname5137]

@wf1980 I have a career job, I became a single mom at 35 with a 9 month old. I moved back with my dad because who the hell can afford to live on a single salary!?

 

[katrina2017]

@noname5137 Will it ever be possible for me to live on my own with a child?

 

[thewoman2014]

@katrina2017 Idk man with the way inflation is going idk. It's hell.

 

[katrina2017]

@thewoman2014 Come on man don’t say that the longest I’ve lived out of my parents home was 2 months

 

[thewoman2014]

@katrina2017 Wow only 2 months? I've been on my own 4 months.

 

[wf1980]

@noname5137 It’s true it was easier when I was 21 than it is now which is flipping wild. Now it’s just treading water and hoping to survive. Especially groceries

 

[noname5137]

@wf1980 Omg yes. I never even really thought of it that way, but it’s so true. And I don’t even have a car payment now (not for much longer, probably going to need to get a new one )

 

[frankleespeaking]

@wf1980 I went through a divorce and was forced to move back in with my mom. Not ideal at first but it’s been a tremendous help with taking care of my son and healing

 

[katrina2017]

@wf1980 I agree with the person who said about as long as it doesn’t impact your mental health. I genuinely have PTSD from the time I lived with mine.

 

[chelsayolay]

@katrina2017 Currently learned about CPTSD and MAN if it's not hitting the nail on the head!

I'm sorry you're going through this, hugs

 

[hindh]

@wf1980 The only thing that matters is your mental health. If living with your mom will cause mental anguish, take that into account. A lot. It’s hard to quantify just what a change it is- losing that “adult autonomy” to be at mom’s.

Otherwise, if you get along and it’s not a strained relationship- definitely!! There is nothing wrong with resetting and using your resources to your best ability. It’s definitely not giving up- it’s moving on. Life isn’t always how we expect, and single parenthood is very hard. This is also an option to spend more energy and focus on your kids- which is important. In about 7-8 years they will be too big and busy for this extra time you can have now.

Change is hard. Moving is hard. I hope it’s a safe place- it seems like a great opportunity to make some good changes. Good luck!

 

[lookinupcat]

@wf1980 I regret moving in with mine and am trying to move out. If you move home, make sure it is going to be good for your mental health. If not, do not do it.

 

[lessonlearned]

@wf1980 I had to ask my mom to come back to help me so I could have my kids. I had to get a lawyer so my ex would stop with holding my kids from me seeing them. I had to take a different job so I could have my kids. Then I had a lower income. So I had to ask my mom if I could live with her. I dont even know if my daughter is mine but I don’t want to miss a day with her or my son. So I put up with my mom and dad. I’m not here all the time but do the chores for them.

 

[chelsayolay]

@wf1980 This will work ONLY if you and your parents have a good relationship.

I'm finally scratching my way out of the pure hell that was living with my mother. She still holds it over my head that she helped me out, but glosses over the emotional manipulation and abuse I and, by extension, my daughter suffered through.

But I know tons of multi generational households that work!

Best of luck to you and your boys

 

[darkmanx1]

@wf1980 how, as a woman, do you have 2 kids that are only 2 months apart? Is one of them not biologically yours? Sorry I know that is off topic I'm just curious..

To answer the question, never feel saddened by asking for help. It will be only temporary until you get back on your own feet again. Besides your parents love you and that is what they are there for.

You got this.

 

[wf1980]

@darkmanx1 Haha! I must have done an incorrect format. 7 years and 9 years both male

 

[darkmanx1]

@wf1980 ooh I see. No that was just poor reading comprehension on my part haha. I read that as 7 months and 9 months not 7 year old male and 9 year old male. Wish you all the best with the move!!

 

[calgarykate]

@wf1980 My son and I moved back in with my parents. I have a great relationship with them, but it’s still super hard! I know it’s the right decision and yet still struggle with it! I have a 10 month old, so obviously postpartum stuff is still on play for me. Just know, it’s going to be a challenge. Doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing. Setting boundaries is soooooo hard! Then little stupid things like I like the AC a lot cooler than they do… again, I know it’s the right place for us to be. But that doesn’t make it any easier!