Still on the fence

[anjaliz]

I've always wanted 2 kids but when we have our first, it made me realize that having a kid isn't a walk in the park. It isn't just about the hugs and the snuggles. You also have to deal with proper nutrition, discipline, etc. I grew up in a household/culture where having a nanny is pretty much common. I grew up with both of my parents working so we have 2 nannies when we were kids (1 for me, 1 for my brother). So everything could be easier for my parents. But things are different here in the U.S. Childcare is expensive and I want to be a SAHM. But I'm not sure if my reasons for having another one is valid or if it's just a result of FOMO.

My husband raised very important points of being content with what we have - financial security, predictability with our routine (we have a colicky kid so we're so glad we're over that phase), providing all our attention to one child, and sleep. He has some health issues and so the lack of sleep in the past years hasn't really helped. But the though of closing the chapter of having another one makes me really sad.

I'm not old (32) but my clock's ticking!

 

[katrina2017]

@anjaliz Man, that must have been nice for your parents to have two nannies!! If I had that another baby would be very doable. I sometimes wonder how the heck people are able to handle multiple kids and often they have good support or some kind of super human energy that’s baffling to me. I really want two as well but damn if it won’t be so hard...

 

[anjaliz]

@katrina2017 That's why we're still on the fence. It's tough esp if you don't have support around. Because I remember back then, we have 2 nannies plus relatives.

 

[lilybetofthevalley]

@anjaliz I’m on the fence about having a second too. My daughter is awesome but she takes up a huge chunk of my attention and I don’t think I have the bandwidth for another. On the other hand seeing young siblings interact with each other makes me sad for her that she won’t have that.

Something to consider is that once the second one is out of the baby phase, they’ll be able to play together. My daughter is 2 now so we’re running out of time to have them ‘close in age’, and I worry if we keep waiting they’ll be too far apart in age to play with each other.

Throw in a global pandemic and this feels like an impossible decision!