still nervous

[worshipinsong]

I posted here around a week ago I think and one person said I wasn’t pregnant, but I’m gonna post again to see what everyone thinks.

My boyfriend has a vasectomy & got cleared twice for a 0 sperm count. One in like late late last year and another in January. I don’t think we had sex in january, but we did in february and I got my cycle. This time around we start off having sex with a condom but he will take it off near the end or halfway through (which i really hate) because I have to be paranoid. But he absolutely never came in me . I’m supposed to start my period in 1 day, maybe 2. I’ve had some cramping as usual, my boobs got bigger like last time, and i’m really emotional. The only thing I’d say is different is my boobs are sore, usually it’s only my nipples.

Ofc there’s always a chance of pregnancy, but I want to know if you guys think I really could be pregnant. I haven’t taken a test yet cause I’m scared that it will be positive.

 

[shybow]

@worshipinsong Only a test could tell if you don't rely just on the odds. If your symptoms were from pregnancy than the test would be positive. But if these symptoms are common for you then it's very likely to be just your pms symptoms

You can withdraw your consent at any moment of sex. If he didn't put condom on even if you said that you don't want to do it without it then he violated your rights.

If he's uncomfortable with condoms and you're uncomfortable with odds of sex with a person who had vasectomy (effectiveness is very close to 100% especially if he recheked) then all you have left is other forms of birth control. IMO the best options for you are an IUD or nexplanon. Both of them do not require any habbit and they won't make you nervous like when people miss their pill.

 

[worshipinsong]

@shybow Thank you very much for your response. I know I can withdraw consent, but It doesn’t feel bad in the moment it just feels bad when I have to get nervous & he gets nervous even tho he removed the condom. We’ve had sex like this before and not gotten pregnant, it’s just this one time we really really should’ve been safer (still didn’t nut in, on, or near me.) I hate birth control because it messes with my body and hormones & Im already diagnosed with some stuff so it would only make my life worse!

 

[jasonshores]

@worshipinsong How can you have sex with person who doesn't respect you nor your boundaries & consent. He's so weird and selfish, you should also prioritise your pleasure & health not only his

 

[wavefunction]

@worshipinsong Only a test can tell you, and if you have been told before you aren't then you can either trust it or take a test. As for you adding you hate it.. you do realize that means without your consent, right?

 

[worshipinsong]

@wavefunction I’m just nervous on whether i’m pregnant or not, I know there’s a high chance I’m not but I’m convinced I have the worst luck ever. & I will talk to him about that cause I object every time.

 

[shybow]

@worshipinsong It's an anxiety issue, I'm sorry that you're feeling this right now. When people are using only condoms without other additional methods there is already essentially no reason to be concerned. It's a very bad habbit to put yourself in a statistical absolute minority. When a person gets pregnant after sex with someone who had a vasectomy it's a reson for a newspaper article.

Just take a test. 1$ and 5 minutes are worth it to make your stress go away. I understand how it's stressful at the moment, especially exactly when you're taking it, but there's no other way to tell.

 

[worshipinsong]

@shybow Thank you :,) I try to be on the safe side with sex but i guess the heat of the moment sometimes takes that away, i don’t know. I know it doesn’t happen like ever unless you have sex within the first 6 months or unless it fails around the 5 year mark or even when it reconnects when older. Since he’s young though idk if it can reconnect that easy, especially since it’s after the 6 month mark. I will try to get a test as it is finals week so i’ll be doing a lot of running around, hell i might tell him to get one. I’m just really anxious that i could be that unlucky .01%

 

[jasonshores]

@worshipinsong you object it and he still does it? girl...

 

[worshipinsong]

@jasonshores Yea and i make him stop everytime I see that the condom is off cause sometimes I don’t feel it

 

[jasonshores]

@worshipinsong pleasee don't let anyone make you do anything you don't want to, even tho you're safe without condom too because of his vasec if you're not comfortable without condom tell him so. and don't get birth control just so he can hit it raw, it's not worth it lol make yourself priority

 

[bigrijoe]

@worshipinsong That’s called “stealthing”, and it’s not ok. I would not be having sex with a man who did that, period.