So much pain

Y

yadayah

New member
I just don’t know what to do… In October 2021, my estranged husband (we separated in July of 2021) cut his own throat and told me, “I told you that I couldn’t live without you.” He was lifeflighted to the hospital and survived. The day after Xmas, we found out that his 13 year old son had been raping our 6 year old daughter for a year. Our 8 year old son caught him and outcried. Our son is now 9.5 and is having a lot of issues. He gets picked on and is scared to express himself in front of his dad. This Monday he told me that he’s having suicidal thoughts. I’m trying to do everything right for them but it doesn’t feel like enough. Somebody help me
 
@yadayah Stop thinking about the ignorant father and get your children help! Both of them need extensive therapy. Hopefully your daughter doesn't have any physical issues from the rape later down the road.
 
@phill876 Seriously. I would block a man trying to stress while I’m dealing with two traumatized kids from his child’s actions. The 13 year old needs to be in jail as well.
 
@tharseo The boy got 4 years probation and has to register as a pedophile until the end of it (it’s also deferred). He is their biological father and I can’t just keep them from him legally. I have tried.
 
@yadayah The first thing you mention and 1/3 of your post is about your ex. You simply said "I don't know what to do". I gave you my opinion. Why do you keep arguing with me? If you have them in therapy and aren't dwelling on their dad like you made it seem, then move on to the next comment.
 
@yadayah I wonder if maybe you should focus on the fact that your daughter, a 6 year old was being assaulted for a year?

Not sure if your son is struggling more than your young daughter who had to endure abuse for a year. What are you doing for your daughter?

You’re focusing on a man while you have a child who was raped for a YEAR on your hands… his feelings are his problem right now he’s an adult, he can go get therapy on his own. Your daughter needs you to help her through this
 
@tharseo Okay. First of all, I never said that my daughter isn’t struggling. She’s not the one who told me that she was thinking about killing herself though. The moment that I found out what happened, I have been actively working to get them BOTH help. All three of us are going to therapy every single Wednesday. I pressed charges. I did it all. He still wants to hurt himself and I don’t know what else to do.
 
@tharseo And I definitely do not appreciate the insinuation that it is somehow my fault. She was raped for a YEAR and I have done EVERYTHING to fight for her. I called the police. I took her to the ER for a rape kit. I spoke with the detective to have him arrested. I called CPS. I took her to an assessment center for therapy. I have my son in therapy there as well. I go to a support group for parents who have gone through similar situations. I don’t let my kids stay the night with anybody but family. My STEPSON of TWELVE years was raping my daughter and NOBODY knew. He is her half brother. He was supposed to take care of and protect her. I have taught my children since they were little the proper names for their body parts. I have told them to never let ANYBODY touch them there. But the child that I treated as my own for all of his life, did this to her. To his BABY sister. He threatened her with a knife if she told. I went to every court date, even the ones that I was told that I didn’t have to go to. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t letting this go. I pressed charges. I fought for a protective order for both of my babies from their BROTHER until my daughter is 18. I wanted it for life but it doesn’t work like that with minors.
 
@yadayah All female children are susceptible to attack by the males in their family, it’s a very harsh lesson to know. I don’t leave my daughters with any men alone not even relatives and I know it’s an unfortunate truth that you even have to watch out for brothers, I mean children’s bio fathers rape them, it’s not out of the realm of possibility.

Not sure where I insinuated anything but you probably feel guilt over a year going by and not noticing any changes to your daughters behavior or physical issues which would result in a 6 year old from rape. Glad you’re in therapy for that for yourself because that’s tough
 
@yadayah I’m so sorry for you and your children. You are not responsible for your husband’s actions. He’s holding you hostage with threats of self harm.

I would report the abuse and get a restraining order for myself and children. He and his son are dangerous.
 
@yamin I can’t get a protective order against my husband because there is no evidence of abuse. Text messages and forcing himself on me don’t count. I have a protective order for both of my kids against his son.
 
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