@aria903 I've seen people saying to wake up before everyone else, but my son is up at 6 and I'm not a morning person. Haha! I'd rather stay up after everyone else.
My husband is very helpful too. It's been a big learning curve for both of us. His dad was never involved in his life and my mom never really asked my dad for help. We've both had to figure out how to communicate clearly. We still aren't great. Mostly me. I just don't feel like I can ask for time off because time off for me means time on for him.
@cornerstoneeg Im a night owl too, waking up early was a struggle at first. I started with 30minutes early and slowly moved it up. The harder part was getting to bed and sleep earlier. Some days like today I slept in a bit and I still got some me time which was awesome because it was my choice. My husband plays video games at night with his family in a different time zone and is on call for the first half of the night roughly 1am. The second half and early morning is on me. Sometimes my son likes to wake up at 3am and it kills my me times but since I'm the SAHM it gets to be my job.
I totally understand the whole my time off means your time on thing. One thing that helped me get over that was giving them a few planned activities for that time and setting one up before I left. I think the first time i left them with a sensory bin full of rice and they were digging for buried treasure. They had a blast. There's a bit of faith that has to happen too. For my husband being left to his own devices felt like I trusted him to handle it, which I didn't even realize that he was internalizing it that I didn't. I just felt like I was burdening him. Vocalizing stuff like this can take a lot of practice, we are working on it though.
@cornerstoneeg Stop beating yourself up! You are in such a tough season of life right now and your feelings and stress are valid!
We had 3u3 (14 months apart then 17 months apart) and I seriously don’t know how I made it through. My husband went on a 2 week work trip to fkn Romania (we’re in the US) when I was 6 months pregnant and had an 11mo. We have family close to us, but they were always too “busy” to help. I just had to take it one day at a time and go into complete survival mode. Online mom groups were just starting to become a thing and they helped me a lot! I didn’t feel so alone. My boys are now 5, 6, and 7 and I still rely on those same groups.
Hang in there! I wish I had better advice. Sending you hugs.
@cornerstoneeg Honestly, I was in the same boat and felt the same way. When my twins turned 3, put them in preschool full time and I went back to work full time. I am so much happier. Like, I get a lunch break now!!! I feel your pain. Have you considered going back to work even just part time for some you time?
@rjirai I have, but daycare where we live is pretty expensive. Plus, neither of us want to put babies in daycare. I'll put my son in preschool as soon as he's old enough (he just turned 2). He'll thrive being with other kids. We've talked about moving closer to our families and if we do that I might go back to work part time because I'll know who's watching our kids and all that. But that won't be for awhile if at all.
@cornerstoneeg I had to take naps my first pregnancy just from exhaustion. Pregnancy is exhausting. So are toddlers. Take that nap. 100% take that nap. Remember, you're bodybuilding 24/7, it's just you're building baby's body.
@cornerstoneeg Feeing the same way with different circumstances. My wife is a teacher and I’m a SAHD, we have a 5 year old daughter who is thankfully finally in school, 3 year old daughter who is as headstrong and stubborn as her mother and father combine, and a very emotional 2 yr old son. We live on a small island with no child care and no family, my wife has been working the last 3 years on obtaining her online masters work while teaching as well. When she does come hole from school around 430-5 we eat dinner and she goes upstairs to continue work on masters. Weekends have her at school working on her masters... I get a break every few months sometimes but has been more not then usual... it’s putting a strain on our marriage, I have been diagnosed as severely depressed and feel trapped with no way out.
@cornerstoneeg Being pregnant while taking care of a very energetic toddler is what convinced me that I would be pregnant for the last time and I was done having kids. I know it's ridiculously hard. I'm sorry. You'll get through it.
@cornerstoneeg Give yourself some grace mama - you are pregnant. It's ok to feel this way. Being a SAHM is hard and I feel like many people don't know or acknowledge it. Maybe you can talk to your husband about giving you a day on the weekend for yourself and you can get some much needed self care time in. Sending you all my love and congratulations on your pregnancy!!
@cornerstoneeg I’m in a pretty similar boat. Sometimes I beat myself up for having such a hard time navigating parenting in Covid times. But I try and remind myself this is hard, it’s hard not to get a break (regular childcare). It’s hard keeping a child alive all day everyday.
