So...An Update on Our Twins

H

hannahjane

New member
First of all, you all have been so great. I don't know what we would have done if we didn't discover this avenue for information...so many helpful people with so many great stories, tips and tricks. So thank you again...

W and P (di/di boy girl) were born on 10/2/19 at 34+4 via emergency C Section. They came out at 4 lbs 8 ounces and 4 lbs 12 ounces. W just came home today and P probably has another 4-7 days if all goes according to plan. They stayed in the NICU for feeding, feeding and more feeding and, luckily, that was it. W picked it up pretty well over the past few days and P is still a little one who gets tired with feedings--they say her main issue right now is feeding stamina...we are confident/hopeful she will turn the corner soon.

We just got home with W and, as I said, P is still in the NICU. That's our story so far! I could see how this gets VERY hectic once you have two newborns at home but, I am surely going to lean on all of you (and the grandparent help we have) to get through this first year with our little dude and dudette.
 
@hannahjane Congrats!!! My di/di boy/girl twins were born on 8/12 at 32+5 and had a NICU course mostly like yours. My girl caught onto eating quicker than her brother and was discharged before him by 4 days. I hope you get to bring her home soon!! 💕
 
@hannahjane I think that it's actually easier when you have all of the kids in the same place. My triplets were born at 30 weeks (my "big boy" was 3 pounds 2 oz- he's now 6'2" and 220 pounds)- they all ended up in different hospitals and NICUs a few times, but we insisted that they all come home at the same time. Baby A couldn't even nurse until she was 39 weeks (adjusted)...I just kept pumping and feeding the babies that could nurse.

Once you get them both at home it's easier to try and at least pretend to have a schedule, because you're not driving back and forth/pumping etc. It is exhausting for the first few years, but less exhausting when they're in the same place.

Just hang in there- my kids are 24 now and I can't even really remember the first few years. It's going to be exhausting and confusing and sometimes frustrating, but it will get a lot better. You can do this :)
 
@hannahjane I think one of the biggest things that helped me was prepping bottles in advance, so we could just pop them in the warmer when it came time to feed them. Sometimes I would pump just before their next feed, and then just use the fresh milk right away, so it wouldn’t have to be heated. Basically anything you can do to speed up the process will help, since they will sometimes be hangry when they wake up.

I would also establish a sleep routine as soon as possible. For the boys’ night routine, we feed them with the lights dimmed, then put them in their sleep sacks and right into their cribs. I’m not sure if it’s because of their routine, but they’ve been sleeping great for almost two months now. One sleeps through the night, and the other only gets up once or twice.

It also helps to be ok with things not going according to plan. Sometimes one will have a blowout just as you’re leaving the house, or sometimes one baby will want to deviate from their schedule a bit. It can be hard some days, but you will eventually find yourself able to easily adapt to almost any situation. For the most part, it really does get easier as time goes on!

If I can think of anything more specific, I’ll add later!
 
@hannahjane To be honest, it was a little rough until they started smiling. I think they started smiling around 2 months. And the GIGGLING. That is the absolute best. It makes all of the hard work completely worth it just for the smiles and giggles.

Obviously, getting more sleep helps, too. So when they started sleeping more, everyone was happier.

I found things got much easier when they had enough head control to sit in a jumper. So after their feeds during the day, one plays in the jumper and one plays on their activity mat/gym.

I wish I had kept track of milestones, but I didn’t think about keeping track until recently. But looking at developmental milestones for their adjusted age will give you a general idea of when to expect things to happen!
 
@hannahjane My boys are also 5 months. I think 3-4 months saw the biggest change. By then they had enough neck strength to be fed simultaneously (no more meltdowns while one waited), they started sleeping longer stretches at night, they started playing with toys so they could self-entertain, and they were drinking more at once time so they need to feed less often.
 
@hannahjane No problem! The first few months were extremely hard but life is pretty smooth now. I'll add one more milestone for you to look forward to at 5 months, if your babes are like mine - a regular nap schedule! They take 3 45 minute naps and one 1.5 hr nap per day at almost the same times each day.
 
@hannahjane First off, congratulations, fellow parent of multiples! It is quite the ride.

Secondly, did I write this post? Because it is so very similar to what happened with our twins! Including the detail of having one home from the NICU and thinking about how busy it was going to be when we added the second baby to the mix. I distinctly remember saying to my husband, “I don’t know how we are going to do this with two babies!” Spoiler alert: we figured it out enough to keep them alive for 9 months (so far!).
 
@tommyhere Just said that exact line to my wife. Thanks for weighing in. Much appreciated. Do you also remember a slight turn for the “better” around 3-4 months? Anything else to look forward to in terms of milestones of when things will “improve” relative to the disaster we are about to commence?
 
@hannahjane Our turn for the better came when I sleep trained the twins at 5.5 months. I know sleep training isn’t for everyone but for us, it was a game changer. I remember, in the middle of the last night before training, standing over boy twin’s crib and tapping him on the bum for 1.5 hours and thinking that I just couldn’t do it any more. 5 months of disrupted sleep is hard. Very hard. The first night they slept 5 hours in a row was a freaking miracle. Now they do 12ish hours every night (with occasional wake ups but usually nothing that requires parental intervention) and we all feel like human beings again.

Those first few months are SO TOUGH. And the 3 hour rotation makes it seem endless. But it will end, you will get through it, and it will get better. Get any help you can. Any help at all. I had work colleagues come over and them taking the twins for even a 30 minute walk was such a needed break.

We had some dark days. It was hard to see the light at the end of tunnel but here we are, basking in the light. I hope you have an easier time than us but if you don’t, we are all here to lend an (internet) ear.
 
@hannahjane That’s a very similar story to our twins. 35+2, spent time in the NICU and had feeding stamina issues(B had a feeding tube for a couple of weeks).

They do pick it up quickly. The boys are 7 months old now and growing very quickly.
 
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