Shouldn’t do this, shouldn’t do that…

@thundertongue I could’ve written this myself! My family started doing the same at around the same time. They honestly believe a one week old can start manipulating you. Zero common sense.
 
@drita My FIL keeps saying it’s “okay to let them cry” about my now 7 week old. I finally said when he can feed himself and change his own shit diaper I’ll take you up on that.
 
@kittymeow1919 My baby is almost 4 months old and I’ve nursed him to bed every single night. Don’t set him down until he’s really asleep. Keep doing it whatever way works for you!
 
@kittymeow1919 Yes!!!! I was also googling a lot for the first few months and getting so stressed out about sleep, wake windows, habits, etc
My husband staged an intervention lol and after that I realized my parents didn’t have any apps or google for me and I turned out ok!
I started going with what I feel and tbh he’s six months and I nurse to sleep a lot because it works for me. He can sleep without nursing but I like the cuddles too! Drowsy but awake was a total joke for me and now we just follow his cues for when to sleep, anywhere from 2-3 hours after waking. You do you!! And you are doing amazing!!
 
@kittymeow1919 I was in another group and a mom was talking about sleep training a 6 WEEK old and weaning night feedings. I honestly thought it was some kind of sick joke. My advice as a STM - dont fall prey to the baby sleep industry. Your baby does not need specials sacks or classes to be able to sleep. What most parents say are “sleep issues” are just babies being babies. We all have good days and bad days. I cuddled and rocked my daughter until she was 3. Everyone thought i was crazy but i wouldnt change a thing. You do you mama. You know what your baby needs.
 
@denise777 I love this! I struggled with guilt/comparison-issues when I’d follow other moms on social media who would talk about the sleep training courses they did and how amazing their babies are now. I felt like a bad parent for nursing and rocking my baby to sleep. At least I did until my mom told me several things; first she said to remember people lie on social media and like to paint rosy pictures of perfect lives (so them spending $$$ on sleep training courses and now having these perfect sleep angels is most likely not reality). Secondly, she said to remember my baby is a little human being and, like adults, she’s going to have good nights and bad nights, and I need to give her a little grace. And thirdly, my mom said to trust my own instincts about what feels right for me and my daughter, and if nursing/rocking her to sleep was what she needed then that’s what we will be doing. I did that with her until she self-weaned at 13 months old, and now she can usually self-soothe and mostly sleeps through the night, except for the occasional bad dream, random restless night, or early morning wake-up.
 
@denise777 I will say by 6 weeks my baby could go about 5 hours. I thought this was pretty good but I had a friend saying she should be able to last 6. Like not everyone is going to hit a specific milestone at the exact same time!
 
@christian1724 I think a few people who got lucky with good sleepers ruin it for the rest of us by reframing sleep-through-the-night as a normal, achievable goal from basically the get-go when that's just not reality for most babies. I have to remind myself a lot that having a 3-month-old baby who usually does a 4-5 hour stretch, but sometimes wakes up every 1-2 hours, is normal and not a problem that reflects on my parenting skills. Our kids don't read the books. They're just doing what they have to do to get through babyhood.

Edit: To be clear I have nothing against parents with good sleepers! You get your rest! But I don't like parents who think that "My baby does X well, and I try hard, so anyone whose baby doesn't do X well isn't trying hard enough."
 
@christiangirl30 I totally agree with you. I have a fairly good sleeper so it’s easy to follow a lot of these silly rules if I want to. My mom had a ton of issues with me and none of these strategies would have worked. This has nothing to do with parenting strategies. It’s literally luck of the draw with your baby’s temperament. I hope I didn’t come across as saying that my situation is the same as everyone else’s. Even with a good sleeper i still had a friend telling me she can go longer, I should move her out of my room by 3 months and that I need a stricter schedule during the day!
 
@christian1724 The "drowsy but awake" advice was totally useless with my first baby. My second is three weeks old, and he can sometimes do it! It's crazy how different they can be.
 
@christiangirl30 My baby was sleeping through the night from about 2 months, and we didn’t do any “sleep training” — we rock him to sleep every night (4 months now).

I don’t say this to brag or to rub it in, but to reinforce that babies are unique and all of these techniques aren’t necessarily what’s making the difference.
 
@christiangirl30 THIS. those babies are rare. most babies need night feeds and cuddles. that’s ok!!! your baby is normal and you haven’t failed!

signed, mom who used to feel this way but realised it’s not true
 
@christian1724 Mine is 7 weeks and will sleep max 4 hours, maybe once a week. Then usually 2 hour intervals. And I don’t really mind (shrug) if he’s hungry he’s hungry.
 
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