Should I let my kids walk home by themselves ?

[edwina87]

@mrscott1026 It would depend on the kids themselves. If my 9 and 7yo were together? Yes. Shoot, my 7yo is capable by herself but we’re having some trust issues with her right now so that’s my only hangup with her.

 

[nicedonkey]

@mrscott1026 We live about half a mile from the school and let our 10 and 7 year old walk home. (She was 9 and he was 6 when they started at the beginning of the year.) We live in a safe area and the two streets they have to cross are low traffic and have crossing guards.

 

[claire2000]

@mrscott1026 I have a 9 year old and our school is in the neighborhood just 3 streets up from our house. He rides his bike or walks every day by himself to and from school with no issue and even waits at the corner for his friends in the morning to finish their walk/ride to school. He does also have a smart watch where we can track him or call us in the case of an emergency.

 

[emjay1985]

@mrscott1026 One of the kids in our school meets his gma at the corner near the crossing guard. You mentioned there is only one crossing and there is a guard. Maybe you can meet them at that corner. It might be a way to ease into being by themselves a bit?

 

[tomatrowdy]

@mrscott1026 I has been walking home myself since the end of P1 which would've makes me 5. Granted I didn't have any crossings to cross just a path with the school at the end of my parents street! Is the road busy at school times? I think if there's a lollipop person not to worry plus, a lot of parents with their kids will presumably be walking the same way making it a bit safer. At first my parents walked me, then they would wait at the end of the path for me, then gradually I got to walk myself!

Think if this is the route you're going for, nows the time to lay down some ground rules about bad people out there and to come straight home no messing about or "short cuts" and you'll be fine!

 

[shanda3371]

@mrscott1026 My neighbor's kid in the 4th grade walks that far, if not longer, from the bus stop to her house alone. Seems like it's a safe distance. Is there a clear enough view along their route that would allow you just step outside and watch them as they walk home and back to school? You could do that until you're comfortable that they can make the trip alone.

 

[darlingbesa]

@mrscott1026 My kids will bec almost 6 and 8 when I plan to let them start walking the 500m to school. No roads, following a path through a park. I am a little more free range than my average parent friend, I would lean toward yes in your case. But you know your kids best.

 

[poeticamuse]

@mrscott1026 Can you meet them at the halfway part (or a bit closer) and ease back from there.

 

[happyatheist]

@mrscott1026 I was walking home alone starting 2nd grade and up. I lived about a 10-minute walk from my school at most. I also did it alone as most of my friends and classmates lived in the opposite direction.

 

[jr1900]

@mrscott1026 Incrementally, Maybe start off walking them back and forth to a certain point. Halfway. Watch them go on by themselves. Meet them at your halfway point when school lets out. After a few weeks, walk them just a block and watch them go on by themselves.

 

[jamiezane]

@mrscott1026 If you don't live in a really rough part of town I would suggest letting them walk themselves home. It builds a lot of self confidence and independence in children to have them do things on their own. My son is on 9 months old, so I don't have any first hand experience, but I walked to and from school when I was 8 or 9 and nothing bad ever happened to me on my walk

 

[asmith_20002]

@mrscott1026 If your partner is against it then wait. Even if it is a short distance they could get lost. Not worth the argument about it IMO.

 

[hospitalera]

@mrscott1026 Half a kilometer (0.3 miles)? Absolutely! When I was trying to figure out what make sense for my daughter, I went and looked at Google Maps to see the walk I had to school. Starting at age 5, I believe, I was walking about 0.6 miles (1 km). It was mostly residential streets with one wider street that did not have a stop sign, but which had great visibility in both directions. That was age 5! You might try doing that same check for yourself and your husband.

You know the term "free range", and I wonder if you've read Free Range Kids. It is a great book and strongly supports letting kids have more freedom and responsibility.

A story. When my daughter was about 10, her 13 year old cousin was visiting. I asked the father if they could walk into town. It's very close but with one busy street that has a crosswalk and traffic light. I make it a habit to ask parents permission, out of politeness, but it didn't occur to me that he'd say no. My daughter, three years younger, had already been doing it for years. I said to him, "Dude. In two years your son will be old enough for a learners permit. He'll be old enough to be behind the wheel, waiting at the red light. And you don't trust him to walk across? What year does the magic happen where he's allowed to walk? One year before he can drive? Same year he can drive?" Afterwords, the father told me that I really shook him up. Like, he realized that he'd been thinking about it completely wrong.

And yes, I agree with the folks who say to walk with them a few times. Hang back and see how they do. I wanted to see my daughter looking both directions before crossing, and I told her that. Every kid is different, so you need to pay attention to their ability, but most kids that age can handle this.

 

[nicktxdad]

@mrscott1026 I have a 9 yr old that started coming home alone. To feel better I got her a Gizmo watch. Also if possible she takes her scooter so she gets home a little faster.

She gets dropped off in the morning so the scooter is easy to go with her.

 

[nicktxdad]

Also give them a safe word to make sure they know if someone approaches them claiming to be there because a parent sent them they then know not to go with if they dont say the word/phrase.

 

[ragavang43]

@mrscott1026 If you are there to know if they are late I think it is completely fine as long as they walk together and they are comfortable.

 

[andywatson]

@mrscott1026 I remember walking about a mile to school at 9... small town stuff.

 

[hopethrugod]

@mrscott1026 Ill start here. This is close to my heart and will be long.

No matter how empty the area. No matter how busy the area. No matter you are. No matter who you are with. There will always be nefarious opportunists - it only depends on if you cross paths with the wrong person or situation with incredibly unlucky timing. Live your life accordingly. The balance that you find will be right for your family. If not, you'll find your way through that too. Think critically but follow your gut. Be prepared for best and worst no matter what you do and keep expectations at a minimum in unpredictable areas of your life.

I consider this opening up an unpredictable situation that you would otherwise have control over. Be prepared for the variables and if you are willing to accept all conclusions.

You and your spouse know your kids best. That should be a focus.

Moving on.

How do the behave when they think you aren't looking? Do they do what they are supposed to on their own most the time without being asked? Do they help and look out for each other? How busy is your town/city?

We are not helicopter parents but have 2 boys 10 & 12. They play for hours in our neighborhood without a check-in but I would not feel good about the eldest walking home from school which is even closer to our home than yours...about .1 miles (~ 5mi), lots of traffic and I imagine him getting distracted and lost. Both are big helpers and I could totally see them getting lost chasing a stray cat to bring home or something walkingthe park home.

I assume you'd tell the oldest they are responsible for the youngest safety on the walk? What if, worst case scenario, something happened to the 7 year old on the 9 year olds watch? Best case scenario, do you feel like your 9 year old is mature enough to handle the pressure of the responsibility of being the main caregiver, even for 10-15 minutes? How do they react under pressure? Panic, anger, worry, flight, fight, freeze? Do the get along well and are generally able to diffuse arguments on their own/compromise? Will little listen to big without a combative attitude?

Do they have cellphones or GPS incase they are running late or come across an emergency? I'd have a thousand questions.

I'm going to try a few walks to school with my eldest once the weather warms up to give him a chance. But im not ready without seeing how he behaves on the trip. If I feel comfortable with a go ahead...I will absolutely trail him the first few times and at random when he thinks Im not looking to see if he treats to privilege with honesty and responsibility. Again, no helicopter parent, but his path would go through a long, busy, walking park with woods on each side, a dog park and a creek the size of a river...thats a lot to distract a child. Id want to be sure he was following rules when he thinks im not there and that his path to school is actually safe.

Personally, 7 & 9 is way too young, there's too much room for error and too much responsibility for a child. But kids mature differently and maybe yours are totally ready. If you haven't already. Talk with both child in private with mom & dad to see how they feel before even trying to figure out the details. If one says they arent feeling it, in the safety of privacy, you have all you need to know. If they are cool with it, practice walks, tests of maturity/responsibility/feelings of vulnerability & safety measures next.

Edit: had to gps it (our home to school distance) . Im wrong. Eldest school is over .5mi, but under 1.0 mi, a bit of a difference in distance. Sorry!

Edit (final): I walked my small rural town of 4,000 between 12-17(f)...both alone and with friends. The town was small so it was often short distances for myself, never over 2 miles. Over those 4 years (again alone & with friends), I had 3 truckers try to pick me up, 1 trucker to follow me, 1 couple to try and pick me up...circle back and follow me and continue to get me in their truck, 2 scary on foot situations and several issues with bullies. This is in a town with a very small crime rate and away from dangerous areas and about 5 miles off the highway. Im petite, the size of a child...my son and I are the same height.

Are your kids people pleasers? I am. The couple who tried to pick me up twice then followed me, that was VERY DIFFICULT for me to say no to, more than any of the others, even though I got a sick feeling from them, I struggled to reject them. When they came around the 3rd time I ran into the tree line and always walked inside the treeline when I walked town after that and the other issues.

 

[oldtimedude]

@mrscott1026 My sister was 10, myself 8 when my mom let us walk to school.

BUT, the hook with that, was that my sister is my half sister from our biofather, and was living with us temporarily. She’d been through some shit already, and my mom knew, that if push came to shove, my sister would kick some serious ass to keep us safe. We lived a mile from the school, all through safe neighborhoods.

Truth be told, I think I was still the one doing the “safety approach” to walking to and from school. My sister was a bit wild. Lol

 

[missinquisitive]

@mrscott1026 Strongly strongly recommend letting them walk!