@mrscott1026 We started very slow. First, we picked a spot near the school to meet. I could walk to the corner and see them leave the school grounds, watching as they walked up me. Slowly, as the school year continued, I moved the meeting place closer to the house. Soon, they were walking home alone.
When we moved to a different neighborhood, I repeated the process. We've done it through 4 moves now, the kid is 14, and is independent and confident making his way around town on his own, whether it requires bus trips, walking, checking his maps, or calling (and paying for) a cab.
@mrscott1026 I used to walk to school when I was six. To be fair that’s normal where I’m from. Kids in Japan ride the public bus and walk to school as early as kindergarten their own. So idk seven and nine seem fine to me.
@mrscott1026 Yes. You can probably see the school from your house. And if there are that many parents out escorting their kids there will be plenty of adult eyes on them.
@becker The other adults are minding their own kids. They are not paying attention to your kid. The downside of a large group of people is that everyone thinks it will be someone else's responsibility, so no one will mind the kids or step up when a stranger approaches them.
Also it is not the responsibility of other parents that your kid gets home safe.
@mrscott1026 Yes. I'd probably walk with them a few times, maybe meet them at the light once or twice to make sure they're crossing safely, etc. But... yes, I think I would. Mine (12 & 14) are riding bicycles home from school weather permitting (so ilke... not *right now* as it's January and currently hovering between -5 and 20F...), and that's a good 7 miles I did ride with them to school and back a couple of times before school started and do insist that they both ride *in* to school together (when it's dark), but then they generally ride home separately due to activities...
@mrscott1026 My wife and I clash on this as well. I support giving children reasonable oppportunities to develop autonomy and self-determination by going places on their own. I did the same when I was a kid. She’s hyper-focused on the possibility of something happening; just because the chance is tiny doesn’t make it zero. I’ve tried to explain that there’s also risk of one of them falling down the stairs and breaking their neck… but we don’t escort them up and down. It’s tricky, because while the chances of abduction or accident certainly are, in our neighborhood, TINY, they exist. So neither of us is wrong.
In MY experience, when it comes to settling this kind of stressful conflict with a partner, opt for the safer choice. I’ve capitulated to my wife’s stance in favor of looking for other opportunities down the road (my kids are 5.5 and 3.5) to teach autonomy. In my opinion, it simply isn’t worth the conflict within our family to try to force the issue of letting them walk places on their own, at least not yet.
@sheenpure6 My exact situation but gender reversed. It's been a constant point of contention since they were babies. From letting them go up and down stairs by themselves when learning to walk, to letting them go somewhere by themselves now that they're older.
@mrscott1026 How mature is the 9yo and 7yo? Will the 7yo listen to directions and stay with their sibling? Personally I might allow a 9yo to walk to school, there is a school near by that a lot of kids in the neighborhood walk to, and they have to cross one street, and it's a very busy st and there is a problem with people driving very fast and even running red lights (I almost got t-boned one morning driving my son to school as he doesn't attend that school), but sounds like for you that isnt an issue. That being said I would NOT put a 9yo in charge of a 7yo which is essentially what would happen if you allow them to walk to and from school solo, it's too much responsibility on a 9yo IMO.
@jcc7 In the horrible chance that something bad happened to 7yo, 9yo will be haunted for life and give themselves the blame. The age alone makes me worried. I dont think a 9yo can handle that responsibility either. But I'm on the fence, maybe these kids are crazy mature and outliers? I cant say but my imagination worries me. I know if I let my kids (12/10) walk alone that distance at 9 & 7....if something happened to his little brother, he'd also run away out of trying to save his brother or out of fear, shame, guilt, sadness, etc. Id never see either again, I know in my heart, if something bad were to happen under the eldest charge.
@mrscott1026 Is this an American thing? Not letting your kids get to school by themselves? I walked about the same distance starting first grade. After a couple of weeks I walked alone. Do you guys don't trust your kids or do you honestly think something is gonna happen just because they walked?
@amplifiedheart I'm guessing OP isn't American because of the measuring in meters and the comma with 0.3 miles. I would say no, it's not an American thing completely. I live 0.5 miles from the elementary school. It's a straight shot down a huge side walk. I see dozens of kids of varying ages walking home from school. I think it depends on the area.
Then again my Parisian step mom and sister were different. She walked home in a very bad area of Paris every day when she was 7. By bad area, I mean I saw someone doing a line of coke just on the side walk at 4pm in the afternoon. Americans are more cautious than that but walking home is normal
@amplifiedheart I don't know about American so much as regional. I grew up in NYC during a spree of child abductions. Not only did I not walk anywhere by myself, but my mother specifically told me, at about age 5, that if anyone pointed a gun at me and told me to get in the car, not to go with them, because they'll just kill me when they're done with me.
I have to work very hard not to impart that anxiety on my own child.
I did ride with them to school and back a couple of times before school started and do insist that they both ride *in* to school together (when it's dark), but then they generally ride home separately due to activities...