@younglite For me personally: I would not go on the trip. I would tell my friend that we can do it the following year, but the timing of the baby just doesn't work for the trip this year.
I think you are thinking about this is a good and responsible way. If it's a trip that's a tradition that's important to you, maybe you and your wife can work something out where you can have a guys day or something in lieu of the trip?
@younglite Ya my man, if you willing want to start having marital problems.
Go ahead. Otherwise take back up the tradition next year. Your buddy will surely understand and if he doesn’t than he isn’t a true friend
@younglite Don't go, but I don't see a reason not to tell your wife about the invitation and how you decided supporting your family was more important than the trip. It will affirm your priorities and communicate to her that you're putting your wife and kid ahead of your own entertainment and friends.
That gesture is important.
Also, this is not something that she'll later owe you for doing or whatever. So make sure she understands that this isn't something she needs to feel guilty about, that it is your decision and what you want to do.
Like you said, heading in the trip is a bad idea. You trusted your gut there. Not telling your wife about it is where the overreaction is at. Just tell her and let her know that you already came to the conclusion it wasn't a good idea.
@younglite As a Dad to a current 6m/o, I recommend TELLING your wife about the trip plans and then letting her know you DECLINED the trip. This is an opportunity to strengthen your marriage by showing your wife you are devoted to her. If you’ve been doing these trips regularly, then your wife presumably understands already that these are important to you. You don’t have to make the decision to not go about you; you can show her that it’s a decision you’re making for the family because you recognize that it’s a decision. That effects your family— the soon to be all three of you. (Congrats btw!)
@younglite Dude I did a two night trip up to a cabin (with cell service) for my brother’s bachelor party when my son was six months and caught hell for it for weeks afterwards. Not worth it, don’t do it.
@younglite Skip this year. When the baby is approaching one year old, and everything is going somewhat smooth, then maybe entertain a few days (where you are reachable).
@younglite That is the easiest hell no, don’t go response ever. In the first two months of our baby being born we had to bring him to the ER 3 times. The last time was due to a an acidic reflux issue so severe our baby stopped breathing for almost a minute. This happened around 11pm and My wife froze in the crisis, she was so tired so scared and just couldn’t process what was happening. We had to clear his air way and do our best to keep it clear until we got to the hospital. We then had to stay for 3 days until they figured out why it was happening. This isn’t a story to terrify you, but family comes before anything else. I wouldn’t even consider taking 24 hours to myself until the baby is at LEAST 6 months old and only if you have trustworthy family that can come stay with your wife and help her with the baby.
@younglite This post reminds me of one from r/ColoradoAvalanche where a guy was asking if it was a bad idea that he'd cancelled his honeymoon to a tropical island in lieu of buying them tickets to a hockey game...and he hadn't even told his wife about it yet.
@younglite I'd go with a no for this year. Every situation is different, but it surely wouldn't be ideal. Perhaps look for an alternative trip idea with your friend, even if it's only a couple days, closer, in cell service, and isn't canoeing.
@younglite Nope absolutely not. I disagree with other responses about not telling your wife though. Don't ask her and make her say no, Just mention it offhand that you're not doing it. It's an opportunity to demonstrate that you're responsible and you've got her back. It's very likely that at some point in the first few months she's going to feel like you're not supporting her enough. Sorry, that's just how it is. This is an chance to build trust for those times and let her know you're willing to make sacrifices.
