@younglite If you have the means to pay someone to support her for a week or to have another relative assist AND if she gets do something on her own or equivalent "me" time, I could maybe see this, but it's just so early in a child's life, I think when you get to that stage you will both want to be present with each other and the baby. And if you are young enough there's always next year.
Should I leave my wife with a 2-mo old for a week?
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piratelady
New member
@younglite OP, it can be overwhelming to see a few dozen people say “no” to your idea so I’d like to speak to you with an extra spoonful of compassion. It is important for new parents to find time, eventually, when the kid is old enough, to do things that make them feel like themselves. Self care and pursuit of your own happiness are important. So while you may wind up canceling this trip, do try to find adapted ways of the kind of activity that are good for your mental health and make you feel like you’re more than just Dad. We don’t want you to lose yourself.
But, yeah, no to this trip.
But, yeah, no to this trip.
forgiven723
New member
@younglite Don’t do it. I went deer hunting for 2.5 days and it wasn’t great when I got back. The only reason my wife was okay with me going was because it was with my best friend who is in the marine corps, who I see once a year at most and had not gone hunting with in 7 years. On top of that I was able to check in, which I did, but still, no, don’t do it. Plan it for next year now though.
@younglite I had to take a work trip when my first born was about 2 months old but the only way it worked was that she went to visit her parents for that week. She definitely had struggles with the getting there and back on her own though since it was about 2.5 hours away but probably took her a few more hours because of feedings and crying from the backseat. If it wasn’t for her parents supporting, I wouldn’t have done it.
I agree with someone that said - don’t tell her about it because she likely will want you to be able to do it.
I agree with someone that said - don’t tell her about it because she likely will want you to be able to do it.
@younglite A wife here… I think you need to talk to your wife and see how she feels. If my husband were to talk to me first we could talk it out. Pros and cons and all that fun stuff. I know myself I would let him go, if it is something that you do every year. But I’m laid back and want my husband to have his own time also. If she agrees maybe offer a spa day when you get back and you handle the baby.
carbohydrate
New member
@younglite Alternative data point:
My buddy came on a remote river trip with us last year 2 months after baby born.
His wife was fine with it, actively encouraged him even. He was more nervous about it than her, checking in on the SPOT all the time. You can rent a spot gps with two way texting for like $100 for a week.
So people do it. And it works out fine.
My buddy came on a remote river trip with us last year 2 months after baby born.
His wife was fine with it, actively encouraged him even. He was more nervous about it than her, checking in on the SPOT all the time. You can rent a spot gps with two way texting for like $100 for a week.
So people do it. And it works out fine.
@younglite I wanted to go for some bro time in the mountains when my kid was 3 months. Instead of asking my wife to stay with him I took him with me. I carried him around the whole time and it was an awesome trip. My friend was totally cool with it and it worked. You could do something similar but I don’t recommend taking a 2 month old on a canoe.
sneadmark62
New member
@younglite 8 weeks after our first was born? Absolutely not. Those first 3 months were 3 of the hardest months of our lives. After our second? Honestly… probably. He just turned 2 months old yesterday and he’s such an easy baby. Way easier than his older brother and I think either of us would make it work for the other for something like that.
@younglite Depending on the kid, maybe. Ours (now 3) has always slept like a rock, even as an infant.
Unless you're lucky, probably not
Unless you're lucky, probably not
@younglite With my second I would let him do it if he helped me organise some help. And he would have to give me some alone time back in return. And a gift. And I would tell him that it is his fault if baby doesn't recognise him afterwards.
With my first I would cry at the thought of not being able to get a hold of him. I would hate every second of it, even if I was on board initially, and eventually start to hate him, too - a little bit at least.
With my first I would cry at the thought of not being able to get a hold of him. I would hate every second of it, even if I was on board initially, and eventually start to hate him, too - a little bit at least.
@younglite She’ll yell at you if you stay, yell at you if you go…
misselaineous
New member
@younglite I wouldn't
jesus4madrid
New member
@younglite I would suggest postpone for a few months and make sure she still has someone there to help her if possible. Hormones are still regulating, I pray your baby is healthy but it can’t always be predicted, if she’s breastfeeding that is a struggle and exhausting. I’m a mom and my SO went back to working from home (12 hour night shifts) and even that was a struggle after his 3 weeks off.
If it were an unavoidable work trip, I’d say go for it with help provided. Going somewhere with no signal for a week is pushing it with a newborn at home.
If it were an unavoidable work trip, I’d say go for it with help provided. Going somewhere with no signal for a week is pushing it with a newborn at home.
@younglite I had to go present at a conference when my son was 2.5 months. I was gone for 3 days.. everything was fine but I felt awful being away from them. And my partner said that was the max she could handle alone at the time. I wouldn’t be away from them unless it was truly necessary, you’ll likely regret it the whole time anyway!
faithgirl1
New member
@younglite Definitely not but just do it at like 8-12 months + when the baby and mom will be more stable. You will ENJOY that week at home with a 2 month old… believe it.
@younglite 3 years in, two kids, and i have been away from my wife for a total of maybe two night in a row, and that was so SHE could get away. We have recently managed to have a couple nights to ourselves as well, but let me tell you the current position you find yourself in…you are the rock that your family will lean against for allllll you are worth for the next few years…your wife is the emotional center of your family, you are the physical…you will be needed night and day, and it will make you a stronger, better person, and it will kick your ass daily, and it will be worth it…Think about ways to give your wife a break in the meantime…you have a long life to live, your breaks will come slowly and surely
christiangurl5123
New member
@younglite As another guy. I think skip it this year. Try it again next year.
@younglite Looks like the comments are all sane. I just want to reassure you that you’ll still have time for your hobbies, but your priorities will shift massively by 8 weeks. I can’t imagine you even wanting to go by the time it comes around.
annenatydori
New member
@younglite No
