Shocked and Confused by 15yo Child’s Revelation

[angelanguyen]

@jeff98682 I had them as a kid and told NO ONE. I did manage to rid myself of them by focusing on good hand washing habits. That your daughter told you is great. Now she knows the door is open. Giver her lots of praise for telling you! And to come to you with any and all health concerns.

 

[joshuaaa]

@jeff98682

I can’t fathom how she could have lived with this for so long without telling someone

Well, I think you answered you're own question.

I (40f) was in disbelief at first, thinking it’s too uncommon

She knew that would be your reaction, so she didn't say anything.

And, well most people are in denial about their health status.

I had a worm issue briefly at 12 or 13. It went away quickly with some medication.

 

[jeff98682]

@joshuaaa You are totally right! She was definitely afraid to tell me because of my reaction. I hate that I made her feel like it was easier for her to live with this than tell me… things are better now that we’ve talked (and since she’s taken the medication). Thanks so much!

 

[marybeee]

@jeff98682 It’s ok. Just give her a hug and let her know that you are always open to hearing things that seem odd and that you need to know for 2 reasons-if she’s worried about something that you can easily help her understand and it’s not a big deal the worry Can go away. And if it is a big deal then you can get her help. Give her more hugs and thank her for trusting you and telling you.

Then, you have to tell her that you also need to tell the family to protect them. That everyone needs to take the medication. Give her some time to process it. And more hugs. Let her know it’s not that uncommon. And where she likely picked it up (if you can think through that). Sandbox several years ago, a beach, and that it just needs to be treated.

More hugs. I’m glad she came to you.

 

[paulc000]

@jeff98682 I'll admit as a teenager I had pinworms and never told my mother. I don't know why, probably because they didn't cause pain or any other symptoms that were more concerning than the embarrassment I felt. Eventually they did go away, even though I didn't get treated, but I had them for a long long time.

Try not to overthink her choice to keep it private despite your close, open relationship. She DID decide to tell you, you didn't learn about it thru a third party or accidentally - which means she was open and honest with you, just in her own time. Remember, you only had to hear the words - she had to SAY them. You mention how grossed out you felt, take a moment to step into her shoes and think about how she felt in the moment. I imagine she felt embarrassed, disgusting, anxious and a little nauseated too. Those feelings are probably why she needed time to reveal her 'secret' and are completely unrelated to your close relationship.

She was probably hoping they'd just go away and subconsciously ignoring them. Adults do that all the time with minor health ailments.

 

[psychologymajor]

@jeff98682 No similar experience but you need to take that child to the dr asap.

 

[dcagle]

@psychologymajor Pinworms are super common and easily picked up from playgrounds, school desks, etc. The otc medicine is very effective at getting rid of them so there isn't a need to panic and go to the doctor imo.

 

[lorraineldg3]

@jeff98682 Not a big deal other than that she felt so uncomfortable about telling you. It happens. Maybe it’s happened to us because we camp and backpack quite a bit, but it’s happened. I’ve joked around with other dads who also camp and backpack about it (we are all have professional careers so we aren’t hurting), and trust me, it’s really common.

 

[srla]

@jeff98682 U never mentioned in your post if u actually looked at her BM to confirm that she did indeed have worms. Did u see them?

 

[sparrowfeet]

@jeff98682 Teens do tend to overstate things and have a poor sense of time, so I bet it hasn’t been that long. I am glad she finally told you though!

 

[ajtony1313]

@jeff98682 My kids were always awful about telling me about health concerns. Still kinda are, but not as bad. They take it as a personal failing that there is something wrong, not realizing there is something that can be done. They just don’t know and don’t have the life experience yet. When I realized the issue, I started talking very openly about my medical issues. Or about the time a Dr told me something dumb or I did something dumb and the Dr was in disbelief. My goal also isn’t for them to tell me, it’s to communicate with their Dr. At 13, they start talking to the Dr privately and if they didn’t want to tell me, at least tell the Dr. It always seems like a moving target too. Good luck!

 

[tamsyn]

@jeff98682 I too had worms as a kid and didn’t tell my parents for A LONG time

so i would thank her now for coming to you, one round of the medicine will generally kick them out for good

make sure she/ you also washes all her sheets, so reinfecting is way less likely

 

[omnifam]

@jeff98682 What? You dont look at her poop daily and she'd 15 yo? Lol...Thank you for sharing this because this is the reality for a lot of people that are very embarrassed about problems and keep it hidden.

 

[jeff98682]

@omnifam Yes, I definitely learned something! And after putting myself in her shoes, I can see how hard it would be to speak up. I couldn’t have told my parents. BUT if I were her - in the age of technology that we’re in - I at least would have researched how to get rid of it! Maybe she did… maybe that’s why she has been asking if she’s old enough/ready to walk to Walmart by herself let. Hmm.

 

[geneh33]

@jeff98682 We had a situation after the summer passes to the water park. Hang in there. They do go away pretty quick.