Setting up a routine isn’t a priority right now

@terrastorm i know you've had other people give great advice. but i'll chime in anyway. my daughter is 16 months and we still go with the flow. i'm with her every waking moment and i know exactly what she wants/needs when she needs it.

we do some things on a routine ish basis. like we do dinner, medicine, bath, and bedtime all the same every night but not always the same time, just in the ballpark every night. her naps are when she's tired, mealtimes happen in the ballpark of the same time everyday but i can't definitively say "she'll eat lunch at x time everyday" because she just doesn't.

if anything going with the flow for us/me as a sahm, has made my life easier. i don't feel stressed when she's not on her routine/schedule. i don't worry about how the rest of the day will go if she takes her morning nap 30 minutes after her schedule, because we don't have one. she's happy, healthy. her sleep isn't the best but i can't fault her for it. do whatever works for you, routines don't work for everyone.
 
@terrastorm I think this totally depends on you and your life and how you envision your future.

I am 0% a go with the flow person. I definitely had a routine by 8 weeks. I’d say after 3 weeks we had a “pattern” and by 6 weeks a routine. A predictable flow I guess. But I was definitely not just winging every hour.

But I also know people who would be so intimidated? Or anxious? Or overwhelmed? With a routine/schedule that early. Or basically any schedule at all. That’s how they lived pre-baby and Baby is just gonna have to fit right in that lifestyle lol

Me? I didn’t leave my house for MONTHS (possibly 12+ months) if it was during a naptime. And this worked for me lol

I wouldn’t stress over this unless you are generally a very routine oriented person who thrives on structure.
 
@terrastorm So we have an almost 3 month old… and we don’t have a set routine yet either. Hes reflux and colic so getting him to bed is a challenge. Generally hes in bed somewhere between 7-9…What worked a few days ago doesn’t work tonight. It’s a total crap shoot.
 
@terrastorm We still don’t have schedule per se. But we do have a routine ish. I have always done everything on demand. I feed her when she’s hungry and I put her down for naps whenever she is sleepy (following wake windows starting around 2-3 months but sometimes they get tired quicker or stay awake longer) and she kind of set her own routine. So we always do basically everything within the same 1 hour window every day assuming we don’t have something going on that day
 
@terrastorm Eight months here and we’re still all over the place with our routine. I’ve struggled to follow any sort of routine for my entire life, and I’m hoping that the lack of routine isn’t going to cause lasting damage to my baby, since I keep hearing how important it is for them to have consistency in their lives. That said, my baby looooves new experiences and new things, so I feel like not having a routine might not be so horrible for her.
 
@terrastorm Same! I follow baby cues and it changes daily. I do not stress at all about routines. I mentally monitor wet and dirty diapers. Roughly estimate the ounces eaten. Mine is healthy and I go with her flow most days. Look for ginger and sleepy cues and follow as needed. Mental health game changer when I let expectations go!
 
@terrastorm My lo is nearly 1 year old and yeah sure. We have some routine. Like, when it's time for bed we put on a pyama, brush her two little teeth. Read a book. But when it comes to naptime, bedtime... She just follows her own schedule and no matter what we try, baby sleeps when baby sleeps. 🤷‍♀️
 
@terrastorm We didn’t have much of a routine until he was around 1yo! Before that there were nap transitions, teething, starting nursery, starting solids, allllll the skills they learn that disrupt their flow… every time I thought we were close to something resembling a routine he decided to do something different again. Things started getting a lot more predictable after he dropped to one nap, which he did really early at 10 months old. After that we managed to start implementing routines.
 
@terrastorm At his two months check in his pediatrician suggested we set up a morning and night schedule and I think I started it at around 14 weeks. Wasn't strict with it but we did have like a morning routine first and then a consistent night routine. He loves it now at 5 months. But we still don't have a nap schedule yet. He's going to daycare soon so he may need one.
 
@terrastorm My only reaction is “and that’s ok!!” We got into a routine around 4m when we started sleep training. Also, some babes are not ready for a routine. The best advice I ever received is “you know your baby best” so whatever anyone else says, they don’t know YOUR baby. Our hearts are their hearts, we know them best as moms. It will fall into place when it’s right for the both of you 🥰🥰🥰
 
@terrastorm Oh my worddddd don’t worry about routine just yet!! 2 months is still so young and very much so survival mode. My baby is 6 months and we are finally in a routine but certainly not a schedule. Deep breaths! One day the routine will come. For now just enjoy all the snuggles and the chaos that is a newborn 🤪
 
@terrastorm At 2 months we went on baby’s cues. We didn’t get close to a routine until halfway through month three. We’re halfway through month 4 and we don’t have set times but we’re pretty solid on the eat-play-sleep schedule with 2 hr wake windows so we have a general idea of when he’s going to be awake/sleeping.

That said, each baby is different. My friend’s son is two months older and has been on a strict schedule since month 3. Nap time, bedtime, eating, etc is almost exactly the same time every day.
 
@terrastorm 7 weeks here. The only routine we have is the one she's set herself. Her night sleep is approximately the sa.e each night and she's always up right at 7am, maybe just after.
 
@terrastorm We didn't do a routine when our babies were little. We just did what we needed to do until the next day, then started over again. Two very healthy and happy kids here! Do whatever works for you!
 
@terrastorm I think people who ask what the routine is for a 2 month old either don’t know that it’s too young for one, or don’t remember that actually theirs didn’t come until later. We started setting a more consistent bedtime at 2.5 months, wake-up time followed that, especially when I went to work at 4 months. Now at 5 months she naps more in the morning, but that’s about the only routine she’s got. I’m not worried about it.
 
@terrastorm Honestly my kid is 7 months, and there are certain aspects of “routine” that never happened for us — and it’s actually kind of nice? Like, we have a consistent bedtime. We know she needs to eat every 2.5-4 hours, depending on the size of the feed and the general vibes haha. But she isn’t a napper and that never consolidated for us… which stressed me out at first but now kind of rocks? Like I don’t have to frame my day around her naptime and it’s not a nightmare if she doesn’t get a certain amount of naps in. Giving up on a schedule was so freeing lol
 
@terrastorm I’m in the same boat at 2 months. He does what he wants from wake-up time til a couple hours before bedtime. Sleeps, eats, farts when he wants! However we did implement a night time routine 2 hours before bed, consisting of bath/lotion and Jammies, then feed as much as he’ll take and lay him down half awake. We all get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep since we got the okay from our ped around 4 weeks. So if you aren’t sleeping at night I recommend trying a bedtime routine!
 

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