@terrastorm Saaaaaaame I did the exact same thing. My friend did this until her child was nearly 2. It’s fine and you’re doing great
Setting up a routine isn’t a priority right now
- Thread starter terrastorm
- Start date
@terrastorm I think one of the more important distinctions I learnt to make early on is that I got my baby into a 'routine" and not a 'schedule'
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Baby followed a pattern of waking, playing and then feeding and sleeping and stayed awake for the wake window appropriate for their age.
Sometimes that meant they slept in the pram, at home, a my friends place, in the car etc. Sometimes they were nursed or had bottles.
My kid is 16m and still follows a routine rather than a schedule. People used to ask "when can we come to get max baby interaction time!?"
Me: this isn't a petting zoo. There aren't set feeding times. You take your chances.
;
Baby followed a pattern of waking, playing and then feeding and sleeping and stayed awake for the wake window appropriate for their age.
Sometimes that meant they slept in the pram, at home, a my friends place, in the car etc. Sometimes they were nursed or had bottles.
My kid is 16m and still follows a routine rather than a schedule. People used to ask "when can we come to get max baby interaction time!?"
Me: this isn't a petting zoo. There aren't set feeding times. You take your chances.
@terrastorm Haha anyone who thinks that parents will have a predictable routine with a 2 month old is nuts. At that age the kid doesn’t even have a circadian rhythm yet.
holypilgrim88
New member
@terrastorm I have 4 kids. My oldest is about to turn 5. I still just go with the flow 90 percent of the time. I’m pretty sure my 1 month old has more of a routine than my other 3. He wants to be in bed around 11 every night and gets cranky if he isn’t swaddled and in bed by then
@terrastorm We’re at 5wks and I can’t imagine having a true routine at 2mos lol. This baby is the boss and we’re just doing what she needs. That’s all we can do.
wildstriker
New member
@terrastorm It wasn’t until 3 months that routines really started for me, before that everything was on demand and go with the flow. Even now at 7 months, I have really solid routines but no strict schedule.
We have a routine for basically everything now from our wake up routine in the morning, how we spend our time when he’s awake, how naps go down, dinner is done the same way everyday, bedtime routine is very solid at this point, etc. But nothing is done at a set time. I know he naps and nurses every 2-4 hrs depending on his last sleep and how much solids he’s eaten, he goes to bed approximately 12 hrs after he woke up in the morning, and he needs 3-4 hrs total of nap time a day depending on how he slept the night before, but beyond that there’s no set schedule. As long as we work around his needs and stick to our daily routines he’s a happy baby. I’m a very routine oriented person but I also need some flexibility.
We have a routine for basically everything now from our wake up routine in the morning, how we spend our time when he’s awake, how naps go down, dinner is done the same way everyday, bedtime routine is very solid at this point, etc. But nothing is done at a set time. I know he naps and nurses every 2-4 hrs depending on his last sleep and how much solids he’s eaten, he goes to bed approximately 12 hrs after he woke up in the morning, and he needs 3-4 hrs total of nap time a day depending on how he slept the night before, but beyond that there’s no set schedule. As long as we work around his needs and stick to our daily routines he’s a happy baby. I’m a very routine oriented person but I also need some flexibility.
jonathan2008
New member
@terrastorm Friends always ask “what works for baby’s nap schedule?” And I tell them there is no schedule, his sleep is in the middle of changing again at 6 months. We respond to his needs and try not to let him get overtired but we are just watching his cues. We don’t know if there will be 3 or 4 naps or how long they will last, or if he will sleep through or wake twice at night.
@terrastorm As someone whose raised puppies and kittens from bottles (I know they aren’t children but they have newborn stages) as well as raised younger siblings and a newborn on the way currently I am going with the flow routines can’t be forced and sometimes just going with the flow and what works for now is what’s best because they really don’t have routines right away it’s a whole new experience not only for you but for the baby and it takes time to understand their needs and how they align with your own
@terrastorm My girl is 7 weeks old, and for about a week there at 5 weeks I thought she was settling into her own rhythm - she was sleeping between 8pm and 1am, feeding, then waking up at 4am for a feed. Spent most of the day awake for that one week. That "big sleep" - as my husband called it - was miraculous for us.
Now though, she fights sleep - and her "routine" is being wide awake from 6pm to 12am, and sleeping from 12am to 4am. Then naps during the day. I think it's impossible to have any sort of routine with a baby because they're changing every day. You have to go with the flow.
Now though, she fights sleep - and her "routine" is being wide awake from 6pm to 12am, and sleeping from 12am to 4am. Then naps during the day. I think it's impossible to have any sort of routine with a baby because they're changing every day. You have to go with the flow.
@terrastorm Also I think everyone has a different definition of routine. Just because you’re not doing things by the clock doesn’t mean you don’t have routine. My routine was doing the same things in a similar order but the timing of it was different every day. At that age I was just following my baby’s cues. Feeding him when he seemed hungry or every 2-4 hours, I wasn’t really having to put him down for a nap because he would just sleep when he was tired. It was very much a cycle and less of a routine but I’m not sure what kind or routine you would even have at this point unless you want to be very regimented.
shatteredparadigm
New member
@terrastorm I will tell you and it sounds insane but my child was a total mess for about 8-9 months. She slept almost never and fed/ate whenever she wanted and generally hated all things. I kept up the routine to keep myself sane rather than her, and one day it clicked with her. Still very much not perfect now she’s 19 months but I think the routine was immense in her progressing to sleep at night, be ready for bed around the same time every day and get sleepier as we went through the steps. It was just clothes off - ‘rough’ (see tiring) diaper play, bath, diaper+lotion, milk, books, lights out.
For the first 8 months there was milk before and after lights out and lights out definitely didn’t mean she would go into her bed, and books meant we would attempt to read books not read them but now it does! Stick with a routine that lets you have loads of flexibility and you can get more rigid as the kid falls into it (much later).
For the first 8 months there was milk before and after lights out and lights out definitely didn’t mean she would go into her bed, and books meant we would attempt to read books not read them but now it does! Stick with a routine that lets you have loads of flexibility and you can get more rigid as the kid falls into it (much later).
jesusjunkie86
New member
@terrastorm Love that you recognise this. It’s so important for your well-being. You have a little while yet of winging things!! Routine will come, just not right now x
@terrastorm Yeah we’re doing the same here. The sleep routine is improving slowly but day to day, still not on a set time schedule. Feedings vary a bit. That’s fine. He’s a baby.
giveitup007
New member
@terrastorm I’m a go with the flow mum and my baby is 5 months. I personally don’t really believe in having a routine for such a young baby. We do sleeps when she gives tired cues 
she has an average routine, but it changes so frequently as she grows. For example she’s had her first 2 teeth come through this week and isn’t making it through her normal 2 hour wake window, she’s been ready for naps most of the time around 1 hour and 45 minutes. The thing that does stay the same is bedtime every night. But this morning she slept in until 7:30 and usually wakes around 6.
she has an average routine, but it changes so frequently as she grows. For example she’s had her first 2 teeth come through this week and isn’t making it through her normal 2 hour wake window, she’s been ready for naps most of the time around 1 hour and 45 minutes. The thing that does stay the same is bedtime every night. But this morning she slept in until 7:30 and usually wakes around 6.singlechristian354
New member
@terrastorm Our 9 week old bubby also doesn’t get a planned routine, he kinda sorted himself out and I just roll with it. He generally does the same things each day and I can expect him to sleep and wake roughly around the same times. He currently sleeps all night so eats two hourly during the day to get his feeds in. Don’t worry, I’m waiting for the day the shtf 
onthebrink
New member
@terrastorm We never had a routine with our now 4 year old. At all. He didn’t need one. Even now, we sometimes let him fall asleep on the couch watching movies. However, our newborn is already much higher needs/more fussy… so I think we’ll need routines with him. Firmly believe it’s up to you and the individual child!
@terrastorm Follow wake windows and feed on demand - which means every day will be slightly different. Once down to two naps (around 8 months) you can go by the clock (with some flex). When you’re at one nap (14ish months) it is really easy to have a set nap time and meal times and do that for the next 2-4 years so people forget you can’t really do that with a baby. You can have a routine (eat/play/sleep for example) but not a by the clock schedule. At that age even eat/play/sleep was hard. Sometimes eat/sleep/eat/playing/eat/sleep/eat/sleep if you know what I mean…
@terrastorm Just remember that routine ≠ schedule! Routine is as simple as baby wakes, eats, diaper change and play time. Schedule is baby wakes at 6am, bottle/breast at 6.30am, diaper change at 7am, play time until 7.30am, nap routine and nap at 8am. Babies like predictability but they have no real concept of time, they’re not going to know if you change their nappy at a certain time!
@terrastorm I think babies need routines to some degree like consistently being offered the opportunity to eat and sleep but I think the amount of detail most parents put into the routine matters very little.
Like most things we delude ourselves into thinking we have control but it’s really the babies who are in control.
Like most things we delude ourselves into thinking we have control but it’s really the babies who are in control.
geminichick
New member
@terrastorm Everything was baby led at 2 months for us! Don't stress - it sounds like your baby is healthy and happy and that's all that matters right now. If you don't need a routine, don't force it. We didn't see a routine emerge until around 5 months (maybe closer to 6). We took everything day by day and it was wonderful, and helped us to be more relaxed as parents. Our 16 month old is now happily settled in a routine 