Q: 1st Doctor's Appointment

[cant_think_of_a_name]

We have our first doctors appointment coming up. I only get 7 days of sick leave a year. Is it really important that I am there for this one or will there be more important appointments to be present?

 

[73137_hawk]

@cant_think_of_a_name If it's an ultrasound, I would recommend it. If it's good news, hearing the heartbeat is amazing. If it's bad news, you'll want to be there rather than at work.

If it's a doctor's appointment without an ultrasound, I'd say you can probably skip it. I was lucky enough to be able to go to almost all of them, but it did feel like my presence was not at all necessary for all of them.

Edit: Also, I guess it depends on your relationship - making the sacrifice of a sick day to be there may be meaningful to the mother (it may also be meaningful if you don't use the sick day and save it for something down the line, it all depends). If the pregnancy was unplanned, making that commitment to be there may be very reassuring for the mother, even if everything else in the relationship is going well. Lot of variables.

 

[loli00]

@cant_think_of_a_name We had our "firsts" about three weeks ago. Often the doctor's appointment and the initial ultrasounds are not done in the same place. If you have to pick one, I'd say choose the first ultrasound, as it's definitely the more intense moment to share with your partner.

The initial doctor appointment will likely be a review of your partner's LMP (last menstrual period), a quick blood test to confirm the presence of the pregnancy hormone HcG (the results of which may not be revealed for a day or two), and a few other factors about her general health.

So, is the first doctor appointment CRITICAL? Probably not. You may want to save your sick days for the first couple of ultrasounds when you can see or hear the baby's heartbeat, and at some point you may want to accompany your partner to a meeting with her OBGYN (sometimes different from her regular family GP) so you can have some facetime with the medical professional who is guiding your partner through the pregnancy.

That's just my view, but if your partner has preferences it's definitely best to discuss with her.

 

[cant_think_of_a_name]

@loli00 Thanks for the advice. I am going to sit this one out. She committed to scheduling future appointments with me.

 

[hiyall]

@cant_think_of_a_name Talk to your HR. You may be able to get this to qualify under family care leave and not have to use any sick days.

 

[isang]

@cant_think_of_a_name as a guy who's been to every appointment because they all fell on my days off (I work graveyard shift weekends) I will say that the first appointment was the most boring and useless for me to be there of the bunch. In our case it was just filling out paperwork related to family history and current living situation etc etc. so as long as your wife knows what sort of things run in your family that might be important to mention its one you should be ok to skip.

 

[jp777]

@cant_think_of_a_name For our first appointment I was able to leave work and drive about a half hour so I could be there. It was totally worthless for both of us. They basically just dipped a test strip in her urine and confirmed pregnancy. I feel like tests from the dollar store would have been more official lol.

 

[dotcomicide]

@cant_think_of_a_name How far along is your wife?

This might be the appointment that they confirm your pregnancy and do an ultrasound. If this is the appointment that they confirm you get to see how small your baby is and get the approximate due date. They will probably also go over what to do for morning sickness and other important information.

The important ones you really should go to are the first ultrasound around 18-20 weeks. This is the anatomy ultra sound were they tell you the sex of the baby. You get to see the heart beat and everything else. It’s really awesome. Also the 36 week appointment where they will do another ultrasound to see the position of the baby.

I work from home so I am able to go to all of my wife’s appointments. Most of them are really quick. We were in and out in like 10 mins. They would take her measurements then we would hear the baby’s heart beat. Personally I would try to go to all of them. But everyone’s situation is very different. And everyone’s hospital and dr. routines are different.

Sorry for the long reply but go to the first one and ask which appointments are the must go to appointments. Even if at the first one nothing happened, your partner will probably appreciate it!