On a first-name basis with 2-yo

[stop_cern_idea]

About a month ago, our then 23-m-o started sometimes referring to us as "daddy [first name]" and "mama [first name]" seemingly out of nowhere. And now when she's talking to one of us about the other parent, it's just the first name:

"Where'd go?"
"Who?"
"[Other parent's first name]"

I think it's hilarious. We have never used our first names when talking to her. Anyone else who's on a first-name basis with their toddlers?

 

[pink1]

@stop_cern_idea My now 4 y.o was so confused when he realized we had other names other then mommy/daddy. He tested it around with his dad’s name easier to pronounce for him as he’s having issues with t words so he can really say my name

 

[rccocina]

@pink1 That’s so cute!
My daughter is also 4 and is flabbergasted we have real names and she tries to say them it’s adorable. Scott is “ssshhott!
At the same time, I shit it down when she doesn’t stop.
My husband calls his mom by her first name and I think it’s so disrespectful. My mom wouldn’t have it and I kind of agree or stuck in the middle I guess. I even call my MIL mom bc I hate that my husband calls her by name.
Is it weird to hear?

 

[pink1]

@rccocina Not at all, I think it varies on the relationship your husband has with his mother. I’m estranged and don’t get along to well with mine and therefore I refer to her by her name when talking about her. My MIL before she passed away I switched between mom and her name depending on my mood. It’s not odd you call her mom. Yeah our son can say daddy’s name and was even call him by it for a bit and my husband told him “I’m not Sean I’m daddy” our son has since stop. I haven’t dealt with it because he can’t say my name which is normal for most younger children. My oldest didn’t know how to say it til he was about 6 and was able to phonetically understand one of the letters is silent

 

[rccocina]

@pink1 Thank you for this.
I do think by my husband calling his mom by first name is a jab from some sort of resentment. I don’t like it. My mother in law is great to me and my kids so I have no animosity there. And i don’t know if I came on too strong by calling her mom so early but it was my way of making up for husbands disrespect.
I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing, my family is from Peru and I was born there so it’s not okay to call your mom by her first name there.
Growing up how I did and hearing my husband call his mom by name I think I don’t like it.
I also don’t want to come off crazy to my kids but it think it’s a fair request.

 

[pink1]

@rccocina Absolutely, on a side note in the US it is considered disrespectful. However, surrounding circumstances can attribute to that type of behavior. Personally my mother tried to kill me multiple times and then tried to take my oldest away from me when I had him at 17 and was living on my own in my own space with my at that time boyfriend and sons father. While I was finishing high school and working fulltime

 

[rccocina]

@pink1 My goodness! I would call her by her first name too!
It’s definitely something that you earn as well. Mom and grandma. You have to be treated like a child or grandchild! Kids deserve respect too at any age. And not have to go through anything like that.
My heart breaks for you. What a terrible situation.
My mom didn’t want me to have kids either. And I was in my 30’s! She calmed down and loves them now but We have to be better than them and break the cycle and support and love our kids no matter what.

 

[pink1]

@rccocina It’s ok, this was long ago. I’ve mostly forgiven her, a lot of it was due to her mental disorder she is bipolar one rapid cycling which makes it hard to tell reality from fantasy when untreated. I cut off all ties long ago. My kids have my stepmom and they mean everything to her and she loves them with all her being. They have so much love from everyone else they’ll be fine one less person.

 

[rccocina]

@pink1 It’s not fair to grow up like that.
Mental illness is not a joke. Unfortunately it was so looked down upon and neglected when our parents were our parents.
My mother didn’t suffer from this, it definitely skipped a generation and I suffer from chronic depression.
However, I have had the tools to make sure I am the best mom I can possibly be through a little bit of therapy and medication but most of all awareness.
It’s that whole mentality of you have to put your gas mask on before your child, kind of thing.
Now we are lucky enough to see signs early and hopefully our kids don’t suffer from anything like this.

 

[pink1]

@rccocina It’s not. But it was the hand I was dealt unfortunately. But I’ve managed

 

[ger]

@rccocina I called my mom by her first name from the time I was 6 until I was almost 15. We had had a difficult and estranged relationship when I was a child after my parents divorced when I was 3, and I didn't see her from the time I was 5 until I was 10. It took so much effort for me to call her Mama again, through no fault of her own I might add. I remember the day I called her Mama again was Thanksgiving before I turned 15, I'll be 29 in a month and haven't called her anything but Mama since.. maybe called her the B word twice but that's another story that ended in the police showing up both times.

 

[sharkdive1]

@stop_cern_idea My 14 month old has only just started talking. I'm not sure what he'll be calling us when he's 21 months, but for now both my husband and I are Mama. It's both hilarious and sweet. It has made me a little smug as my in-laws were insistent he'd say Dada first...

 

[eringibb]

@sharkdive1 My husband is dada, I'm dadada and the cat is daaa.

 

[gnewsbob]

@eringibb Everyone at my house is dada. Me, my husband, his brothers, the cleaning lady, everyone.

 

[deeann]

@gnewsbob This was us for a long time! And our dog.

 

[youngdad98763]

@sharkdive1 My kid called both of us dads for the longest time. When I’d (mom) pick him up at daycare he’d run across the room to me screaming DADA! The first time any of the teachers witnessed it they were so confused. I was like it’s just the thing he does.

 

[maluchristian]

@youngdad98763 My 2yo calls both of us daddy for everything. Once my wife tried to trick her to say mommy by repeating words.

Mom: "avocado" 2yo: "avocado"
Mom: "dinosaur" 2yo: "dinosaur"
Mom: "mommy" 2yo: "...daddy"

 

[dinocaz]

@youngdad98763 Sometimes I'm Da-Ma and my husband is Ma-Da when my 19 month old gets confused. She will deliberately misname us as a toddler joke though.

 

[youngdad98763]

@dinocaz That’s hilarious

 

[nek1]

@youngdad98763 Thats funny! my 2.5 yr old calls me "baby" and my husband "son" because that's what we call him. He randomly just go "hi baby hi son"