OH mY gOd yOu'Re sO bIG!

[xavenger32]

@knish (38w with #2)

My personal favorite when people start making comments is to just start making strange noises over them. Or I have a low growly noise that I make and it seems to be enough to get people to stop talking AND it doubles as a little bit of endorphins for me. Sometimes i throw in a “no thanks.” Or “didnt ask” but mostly just animalistic sounds.

This also works well with being touched without permission and when babies are crying and you need a second but cant have one. Everyone has the same reaction of pausing to figure out wtf is going on.

 

[japenator]

@knish I am experiencing this same thing. It's so irritating. I am 18w and huge. My last pregnancy was twins who are 3yo and I have severe diastasis recti. It's really frustrating when I talk about being pregnant and say I'm due in May.. one response I got today was "oh you actually have a long way to go". Yes thanks I know

 

[afaithfulbeliever]

@japenator Same here re: diastasis recti from #1 and together with lots of sizeable fibroids my bump is huge. So many comments and I already felt so self conscious about it. I don’t think people mean it judgementally for the most part, but I’m just not sure what they expect me to say. Mind you, I’m now 21 weeks and the last two comments I got were “you’re so small”. Go figure.

 

[knish]

@japenator Yes! I have diastasis recti also and I've even explained this to people who've given me unsolicited comments, but it's just brushed off "oh no that's definitely just a giant baby bump!". Oh ok thanks just ignore my medical condition, my requests for you to not comment on my body, and keep making this situation progressively more uncomfortable for me. Cheers.

 

[japenator]

@knish When my spouse rubs my belly, I'm like: those are my intestines. Baby is like 7oz.

 

[77darkhorse7]

@knish The worst. I have to hear this every week from my sister-in-law who tells me “you look SO pregnant” or “your belly is huge”. I have a list of really mean responses I’ll never say out loud

 

[corallary]

@77darkhorse7 Aw come on, lay a couple on her

 

[knish]

@77darkhorse7 I have to do a lot of tongue biting when it's my family commenting. Easier to keep the peace overall.

 

[twoohfour]

@knish I also hate the “wow, your bump is so tiny” comments. They’re all unnecessary.

 

[knish]

@twoohfour Absolutely. The only people who need to comment at all on size are the healthcare professionals doing your scans and measurements and even then the only size that matters is how well baby is growing.

 

[sandee43]

@knish I've discovered that some people think it's a compliment. Ditto for people that say the reverse to people with smaller bumps.

People lose common sense when talking to pregnant women.

I had one lady from work ask me how much longer I have and I told her one more month, and her eyes got wide and she said "Ohhh big baby" in a disapproving tone, and I was like no, she's normal sized at all her appointments! And she just shook her head lmao.

She's also a bigger lady so I just laughed at her.

 

[knish]

@sandee43 That's an amazing response, I wish I could take it lightly every time but it's vastly dependent on my mood at the time!

 

[petigreefx]

@knish I’m really grateful everyone in my life but my adorably awkward husband has more tact than that. Had a client today who I haven’t seen since first announcing my pregnancy (now 25 weeks) and she just said “Oh look at your bump! How are you doing?” Gentle acknowledgement that yes, I do indeed look pregnant now but without the comment on how big I’m getting.

When it comes to verbiage like that, my filter disappears and I go for verbal blood. I’m not nice with things like that and will totally call out anyone for that. Done it before and not afraid to do it again.

 

[afaithfulbeliever]

@petigreefx What kind of things do you say back to the size comments?

 

[petigreefx]

@afaithfulbeliever Luckily, I haven’t experience one aimed at my pregnancy yet. Just people being unnecessarily rude and demanding.

I always make a point to not directly insult or curse at someone. Rather, keep my tone even and words polite while still inferring that someone is a piece of garbage and should crawl back to the hole they came from. It’s hard to give specific examples or explain it, it’s just one of those things that built up over the years and flows situationally for me.

It’s usually flat out just calling them out on their childish, immature, and pathetic behavior. Because a true adult knows better than to open their mouth and spew the garbage that just poured out of theirs. And maybe they should go back to grade school to learn the basic rules of manners and common decency. Or better yet, the lesson where a teacher tells you that not every situation needs your verbal opinion.

Once told a guy that he’s better off minding his elderly mother that fell over rather than verbally attacking a young couple on an ice cream date and that we at least had the tact and decency compared to our elders to not curse in front of a park full of children.

 

[sjoefsiuas]

@knish People suck, all bumps are normal and beautiful.
If you have the what to expect app, it’s helpful and they often have bump videos of different sized girls at the week you’re at, it’s a nice reassurance.

 

[knish]

@sjoefsiuas I'll be looking at this app thankyou. I'm a midwife and so I'm very fortunate to see all shapes and sizes on a daily basis so I know that my baby and my bump are both fine, I think it's just the constant barrage of comments making me feel self conscious.

 

[lovekristi]

@knish Ugh when I was pregnant with my second someone asked me if I was having triplets. It hurt my feelings so bad and I sobbed so hard. That unfortunately wasn’t the only comment made about my size. I don’t know why people ever say anything and I don’t have any witty comebacks but I can commiserate. Hang in there and try not to let it get to you!