Officially 1 Year TTC. Feeling defeated

@ebarnes The one year milestone is a tough one. And especially tough when you’re surrounded by babies and pregnant ladies. Be gentle with yourself and remember that all your feelings are valid. It’s a tough process. I hope moving forward with some fertility testing will bring you some answers. It’s usually blood work on day 3 & 21 along with a basic panel, a pelvic ultrasound, and sperm testing for your partner too, to start. If that doesn’t yield anything, there there is further testing you can do. You can also discuss low doses of medicated cycles (like Letrozole). I was lucky and got in right away due to a cancellation, so definitely ask about a call/waitlist. It sounds like you’re already cycle tracking and ovulation testing, so keep up with that :) wishing you luck!
 
@ebarnes Request a lab order to have your hormones tested. Specifically, sex hormones on day 3. Thyroid, cortisol, insulin. These are the more common ones that if imbalanced, can affect fertility. Also, a sperm analysis. From there, if labs and sperm or fine, look at the fallopian tubes with an HSG and uterine cavity with an ultrasound.

There are many steps and possible discoveries to rule out before IVF and IUI come into play.
 
@ebarnes I’m sorry. Hitting the one year mark is really, really hard.

Start by getting your fiancé’s sperm tested. His primary care doctor can order it and it’s very cheap compared to some of the other testing.
 
@ebarnes So you’ve been together since 16 and never used protection and never had a pregnancy scare? By protection do you mean not pulling out or anything? Sorry just trying to make sense of this. One year trying I’m assuming you mean tracking ovulation? The 9-10 day luteal phase should also be concerning for any OB.
 
@valryon Yes this. Never used condoms, I was never on birth control. He pulled out sometimes but I didn’t track my cycles or ovulation at all back then. We never really considered it a “red flag” fertility-wise because we just didn’t think of it, in our minds, no pregnancy wasn’t really an issue then. We were teenagers so we were just young and dumb.

We officially starting TTC one year ago now as that’s when we decided we were ready and wanted to get pregnant so we were tracking, ovulation testing, timing intercourse, the whole thing.
 
@ebarnes Talk to your primary care doctor about seeing an endocrinologist. We are TTC for 24 months this month and I wish I had insisted on doing this sooner. We’re working with someone now who I feel really great about. Best of luck to you ❤️
 
@ebarnes When you see a fertility specialist, I would ask for some progesterone suppositories to lengthen luteal phase and give your uterus lining a few more days to thicken
 
@ebarnes I’m so sorry you’re going through the motions. We all have this idea that when we’re ready to try it will just happen instantly and sometimes that’s just not the case. I went through the same issue of being told “wait one year” but the truth is that if you have irregular cycles and a short luteal phase it’s usually a result of something going on. Keep advocating for yourself and request CD3 labs. I kept pushing and found out I have elevated prolactin and fluctuating thyroid levels that are messing up how strong my ovulation is which leads to lower levels of progesterone aka short luteal phase. My REI NP has been so great and supportive with treating the underlying issues. Find a provider that will really listen to your concerns. I wish you all the best on this journey!
 
@ebarnes I’m in a similar situation I’m on yr 3 and my insurance won’t cover ivf and my ob suggested a specialist and getting straight into ivf
 
@ebarnes So sorry for how you’re feeling. 🫶 I’m sure this has been said but FIRE YOUR DOCTOR ASAP. It doesn’t cost them a dime to order bloodwork or whatever for you, but could make all the diff. For us, we’ve been trying 5 months and I asked for just a general work up from my OBGYN. I also mentioned “I could lie to her and say I’d been trying a year” if that was necessary lol. Anyway, found out about a thyroid problem that I never knew about!! Still much to learn but glad to have some sort of a place to start instead of just feeling helpless. Good luck!!!
 
@ebarnes Im ao sorry you’re going through this. I can empathize with you. I went to the gyno after not going for years. I requested a fertility assessment and found out i have a cyst on my left ovary and a fibroid on my uterus/cervix. Since then Ive been referred to 3 other specialists. We been not avoiding since November 2023. But we’ve been actively trying ( tracking ovulation) since March 2024.

It’s unfortunately how often doctors don’t take complaints seriously at first. I’ve been complaining about gynecological issues since my first period at 10 years old. And never found answers or been taken seriously until now.
 
@ebarnes Also, sounds like you could have a luteal phase defect and could use progesterone. I wish I had known about progesterone early. Probably would have saved me my 4 chemical pregnancies + miscarriage.
 
@ebarnes Big hugs. We just passed the year mark and I remember how impactful that felt, like that’s the official infertility goal post and I reached it. You are totally valid in being hurt, I wouldn’t wish this process on anyone and I probably won’t relax until I have a happy and healthy baby in my arms.

I listen to a podcast that is hosted by a husband and wife, they have been trying for six years through IVF and just happen to get pregnant the old fashioned way on a random vacation weekend… they said their biggest piece of advice is to skip your OB and go straight to a fertility specialist, which is what we will be doing (we are giving ourselves until November, which will be nearly two years, but for personal reasons).
 
Also, fertility clinics can help you with a lot of things before they even get to an IUI or IVF situation, they may just help you get some hormone replacement treatments or take other non-invasive methods first! So there may be some kind of plan that would be financially realistic for you. There’s also financing, but I don’t know what that looks like.
 
@ebarnes SAME. I just turned 25 and my husband just turned 28 in March. I went to my OBGYN 2 weeks ago and told her that I’ve been off birth control since May 2023. She asked if I did OPK’s to which I said yes. She then asked if I got positive results, to which I also said yes. She proceeded to say there was nothing she could do for me there and that due to how long I’ve been TTC, I am “bit behind” because “most couples conceive in 3-6 months” that she would refer me to a fertility specialist. Got a call the next day and their first available isn’t until July. This process has been so heart wrenching, it’s the definition of insanity… doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I honestly don’t know what to expect with our fertility appointment. I cried for days about it and felt like a failure. Now that it’s been a few weeks and I’ve calmed down and thought about it, I am more worried about cost, but positive and hopeful about getting some answers and help. You are not alone! ❤️
 
@ebarnes I'm also at the one-year mark now, although it's different because I was pregnant for a couple months in the middle, so I guess that reset things. If this cycle doesn't work it will have been 6 months since I started trying again after the miscarriage, and I'm almost 38, so that's when I'll be making the phone call.

Like you, my insurance doesn't cover IUI or IVF, so it's terrifying because my options are limited. Fortunately, it does cover fertility testing, so at least I could find out if there are any issues. Medicated cycles with clomid or letrozole are relatively affordable, so I'm kind of hoping that something like that could help me. I ovulate regularly, but releasing more than one egg means a higher chance that a chromosomally normal one will be released. We'll see.

I hope that whatever the testing finds, the recommendation is something you can afford. It sucks so, so much that money could interfere with our chances for happiness.
 
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