Hi all - I am agonizing over the decision to have a second child or not. I feel like it was a super easy decision to have one, but after pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum (and the first year of broken sleep) I am so much more hesitant to have a second. Everyone around me is moving on to their second pregnancies, and on hard days I am 100% OAD. On easy days or days where I feel more rested, it seems more feasible to have another. I’m diagnosed OCD and GAD and this topic has become an obsession. I constantly think about it, read about it, and look for some sort of “light bulb” moment to give me clarity so I can move on. The thing is, I don’t think having a second would do my mental health any good. I worry about PPA and the long term stress of having another child. I want to be the best mom I can be, and I am not sure I’ll be able to achieve that with 2. My question is - why is this so hard to decide on? I think about my level of fulfillment and I’m totally fulfilled with my daughter. I just sometimes romanticize a second child when I think about holidays and the future (my daughter having someone to lean on after my husband and I are gone). Did anyone feel more content in their decision to be OAD as time went on? My daughter is only 19 months. I’m 34 and I know there’s still time.. I’m just tired most of the time and don’t see myself having a baby in my late 30s. I just worry about the risks and having the energy for it. I think I know deep down I’m OAD but can’t seem to stop obsessing over the “right” decision!