@wisdomandlove I'm not sure how I feel about everyone hating in the wife. She could be feeling blindsided if the plan was to have two.
I have a friend who's husband considered one and done for a bit and it broke her heart, for her she was already compromising on less kids instead of the big family she wanted. He came around and things are all good, but when major plans change its hard.
It took my husband a few years to stop hoping I'd change my mind again and want another, and I also wanted to change my mind. I felt awful for backtracking on the original plan and was worried he'd resent me.
OP doesn't mention his wife's feelings at all here, so I'm not convinced they've had a respectful conversation about this. OP you and your wife need to have a proper conversation here, possibly with a therapist because if neither of you are willing to budge you might not be able to save the marriage.