truckingalongforgod
New member
Hi everyone,
My son was born at 34 + 0 due to preeclampsia. During induction he had intolerance to labor which was later found to be due to the cord around his neck. We have been in the NICU 18 days now and he’s doing really well, right now we’re working on feeding stamina. I want to say from the bat that I acknowledge how thankful I am for his overall health and the privilege we have to be so present. I just have to vent for a second and get it off my chest somewhere.
I hate being in the NICU. I hate he has to be there. I hate having to drive 20 minutes every day to see my own freaking child. I hate having to buzz in and have someone check my driver’s license for permission to see my son. I hate having to wrestle cords just to hold him.
I hate doing small talk with a new nurse every day. I hate the lactation consultants judging my answers about milk supply and how attentive I’m being to a log. I hate having the same conversation over and over with a person starting their shift.
I hate that he isn’t home. I hate that my time with him is so limited. I hate leaving him at night. I hate that I have all of these feelings and that I can’t just be a friendlier person during such a hard time.
I’m so sorry to unload here and I hate (lol) sounding ungrateful. Just going through a bit of a rough patch. My husband and support system are great, it just doesn’t change the circumstances. I’m just tired. Taking some time away from the NICU today to just kind of catch my breath and I hope it gives me some energy to be better in coming days. I’m sad to be away from him and miss time with him, but I know I have to take care of myself too. Trying not to feel guilty about that today.
My son was born at 34 + 0 due to preeclampsia. During induction he had intolerance to labor which was later found to be due to the cord around his neck. We have been in the NICU 18 days now and he’s doing really well, right now we’re working on feeding stamina. I want to say from the bat that I acknowledge how thankful I am for his overall health and the privilege we have to be so present. I just have to vent for a second and get it off my chest somewhere.
I hate being in the NICU. I hate he has to be there. I hate having to drive 20 minutes every day to see my own freaking child. I hate having to buzz in and have someone check my driver’s license for permission to see my son. I hate having to wrestle cords just to hold him.
I hate doing small talk with a new nurse every day. I hate the lactation consultants judging my answers about milk supply and how attentive I’m being to a log. I hate having the same conversation over and over with a person starting their shift.
I hate that he isn’t home. I hate that my time with him is so limited. I hate leaving him at night. I hate that I have all of these feelings and that I can’t just be a friendlier person during such a hard time.
I’m so sorry to unload here and I hate (lol) sounding ungrateful. Just going through a bit of a rough patch. My husband and support system are great, it just doesn’t change the circumstances. I’m just tired. Taking some time away from the NICU today to just kind of catch my breath and I hope it gives me some energy to be better in coming days. I’m sad to be away from him and miss time with him, but I know I have to take care of myself too. Trying not to feel guilty about that today.