@bennycross315 Hi
NICU mom here.
I experienced something similar, but had my twin boys at 33 weeks. It was terrifying, wild, amazing, and life changing all at once. It is okay to be overwhelmed. You got this.
I am going to give you some advice in two categories: short term and long term.
Short term:
1. Get some sleep, and make sure you and your wife are eating 3 balanced square meals a day if financially possible. Trust me, you need the energy just to process everything mentally.
2. Drink plenty of water.
3. Talk to someone about how you are feeling. I would pick someone other than your wife because she is going through a lot right now also.
Pro tip: bring your wife a blanket and a towel from home if she doesn’t already have those things packed. Trust me, they will make her stay in the hospital a million times better.
Long term:
1. Find a therapist. This is traumatic, and the sooner you deal with it the better. The NICU social worker will have resources available to help you if you are not financially able to access mental health services normally.
2. Ask your NICU social worker if they have any financial resources to help with the cost. This is not something you need to worry about right now, but you will have to think about it in a few months.
3. Ask someone for help at home. Even if it’s just to wash the dishes or do your laundry. Having someone there for you just to be there can make a huge difference- even if it’s only a few days or a few hrs a day.
4. Schedule out some “me time” for you AND your wife. You both will need it. Even if it’s only 20 minutes in the garage. The solitude and silence for a moment can be healing when things are overwhelming.
Everything is going to be okay.