My supervisor didn’t say I was ok to take the day before my planned c-section off…?

[qork]

This is just so bizarre to me, and I’m not sure if I should push and ask about this again. I’m 36+4 weeks pregnant with my second child and my planned c-section date is fast approaching, which will be when I’m 38+3. During the week of the end of May/beginning of June, I was trying to get everything in order and submit vacation PTO for the week of my delivery. Obviously I’ll be out on Thursday and Friday that week because I’ll be in the hospital, so no one has any control over that. However, I told my supervisor that I also wanted to take Wednesday prior to the delivery date off to give me a day to prepare for any last minute needs for my new baby. And I have to arrive at the hospital on Thursday at 4:00 AM. I thought this sounded reasonable, but my supervisor hesitated and said she would have to speak to our department manager and our HR rep before getting back to me about whether I could do this. She’s not said anything to me since I brought it up that week of the end of May/start of June.

I do work for a small department. I have only 2 other coworkers that do what I do, and one has been out for the last 2 weeks due to an unexpected emergency surgery, while the other has not been in this week at all due to sickness. I’m also undergoing an annual review, since my anniversary date just happened to fall during the same month my baby will be born. I don’t want to put any sour tastes in anyone’s mouth before I’m away for 12 weeks, but it’s just one extra day that I can use PTO for… surely there shouldn’t be a problem with that?

Edit: I just want to thank everyone who has taken a moment to comment and offer advice! And those of you who joked that I’d be suddenly “going into labor” the day before my c-section you all put a smile on my face. I’ve read every single comment, and I see that how this is handled is totally dependent on the laws of my state (AZ, USA) and the rules of my company. I went ahead and submitted for the Wednesday off with my vacation PTO in our timecard portal. I’ve made it clear to both HR and the STD insurance company that I’m not coming back to work until September 18th, so however this comes out in the wash, it is what it is. Again, thanks everyone!

 

[orachii]

@qork Talk to your boss with HR. My thought is it has to do with using PTO prior to FMLA or maternity leave kicking in.

 

[qork]

@orachii Right, my understanding after talking with the insurance company that handles short-term disability was that my PTO should be exhausted prior to my leave beginning. At the time before my leave, I’ll have 4 full PTO days to use, so… I don’t know, I guess I will talk with HR today.

 

[missionarygirl22]

@qork It all depends on where you are located. In California you can go on disability for four weeks before your expected birthdate.

 

[dobichlan18]

@missionarygirl22 Be careful what you disclose to your workplace as the birthdate if the C-section date is 4 weeks or more before the due date. I ran into trouble there by being honest. My former workplace refused to let me go on disability two days before my planned C-section (high risk pregnancy, so the C-section was originally planned 4 weeks before the due date) because they asked for the full-term due date and did the calculation from there. They told me the only way I could go on disability was for my OB to provide a note saying that I could not perform my job duties, which my OB refused to do because my job was computer based. I ended up hospitalized early and working from a hospital bed to avoid using my PTO (which I wanted to bank to extend my parental leave). I later found out that some colleagues in similar situations just lied and told the company that the C-section date was the full-term due date.

 

[missionarygirl22]

@dobichlan18 I can’t tell who’s worse… your job or your doctor!

 

[aldersgate]

@missionarygirl22 Everybody sucks here....

 

[packetsmacker]

@missionarygirl22 I mean...what was the OB supposed to do in this situation, lie that she can't use the computer? This is the fault of the workplace and not the doctor. It sucks but doctors are ethically and legally bound to be honest on disability paperwork.

 

[billfojesus]

@packetsmacker My OB signed me out early and had no problems doing so bc she thought the stress was really adversely affecting me. (I did have medical conditions that she wrote as the official cause on the paperwork) She asked me if I thought WFH would help but I really didn’t and so she wrote me completely out. At our next check up for the pregnancy she was really happy with what a difference it made for me thiugh.

 

[trinichristiannudist]

@packetsmacker Exactly! That part sounds expected to be. But it sounds like the commenter really should have asked about disability again after being hospitalized. I bet the OB would have approved it then.

 

[dobichlan18]

@trinichristiannudist Yeah, by that point I didn't have the mental bandwidth to deal with bureaucracy and I was just waiting for my condition to worsen enough to get that C-section. TBH the disability leave probably wouldn't have been approved in time.

 

[akonobi]

@dobichlan18 Your doctor sucks.

 

[guidemelord]

@akonobi Seriously! My doctor would have been like “k so how many days do you need”

 

[jfredmuggs]

@dobichlan18 Whoah I’m enraged for you.

 

[dliljengren]

@dobichlan18 That is fucking insane. Why should anyone have to provide a fucking note from their doctor? And why the fuck wouldn't your doctor help you?! Idk, I'd find some sort of way to take their asses to court because that absolutely enrages me. What would they have you do, deliver 4 weeks after the doctor advised you to knowing you're high risk? It's 2023 right? Jesus H. Christ. I hope you got out of that job and changed doctors for subsequent pregnancies! I'm sorry you had to deal with that, my friend.

 

[ecf]

@dliljengren The 4 weeks prior to giving birth in California technically requires a doctor's sign off on a form that you aren't able to work. Never heard of a doctor refusing though, more likely they are like ok so here's the date I can sign off to max out standard leave do you need more

 

[dobichlan18]

@ecf Mine wasn't the standard leave since my C-section was planned at 36w. I wonder if that might have been why the doctor's office was being very literal.

 

[dobichlan18]

@dliljengren To be fair it was the doctor's office that handled the note situation and not the doctor (MFM specialist) himself. Their reasoning was that I would have been 35w5d and my condition did not require bed rest, so they couldn't say that I wouldn't be able to perform my desk job.

By the time I was hospitalized, I just didn't have the mental bandwidth to deal with paperwork. Also, I then didn't have a specific delivery date since it all depended on my condition. I ended up having C-section at 34w.

 

[tinamichelle]

@dobichlan18 You have to live in the US. This is atrocious and we need to step up. Our culture literally has moms working in their hospital beds predelivery? I’m so upset and sorry you experienced this and others continue to be treated this way while creating life.

 

[justme111]

@dobichlan18 That is just shitty. Ugh