My sack of shit cheating husband

[lynnede]

I’m just ranting. My husband works out of town most of the time. I also work full time, I commute for work. until recently I was in school full time (I just received my bachelors), I’m home alone with our almost 3 year old, and we have 6 pets which only ONE is mine. He inherited a house earlier this year. I was so excited. I’ve been packing, getting ready. We didn’t have major issues like yeah, it was a little stagnant. You all can probably empathize but yeah I’M TIRED. Excuse me that I don’t have dick on the front of my brain like. EVERYTHING in my life is high demand in which I’m being under stimulated or over stimulated.
We did NOT share the same experience when we had our son. I SOLELY took the brunt of parenting. So when he comes home like yeah, we have sex some but, I’m busy. I’m not used to laying around cuddling like I have shit to do. He’s just so fucking clingy and needy and useless honestly when he is home. The ONE person in my life who can be reasonable and not demand attention like a child from me and that’s all he comes home and does. I was never this cruel to him. I was honest. I told him that I was tired, exhausted. I just wanted to chill and watch something or sit in silence together while I read and he played his video games or whatever.
A few weeks ago I just had a feeling. He was out of town for a month so the night he came home. My friend took me out to eat to celebrate my graduation. I came home with my son and he was all pissy thinking I cheated on him and went to bed. When he went to bed, I went though his phone. DOING THE RUN AROUND ON ME. Sooo many times. So many girls. Multiple times, unprotected. Text, videos, photos. Tinder account, Snapchat account.
My heart is broken at the disrespect. I am smart, hard working, dedicated and loyalty YEAH things were a little stagnant but if we really had forever together then that is the name of the game. Shit is perfect, shit is boring, we have dry seasons, we’re on our A Game. That is a R E L A T I O N S H I P. I am shocked by this. If he had a one night stand, felt bad and told me this might look different but he wanted his cake and he eat it too.
Cheating on me with 21 year olds. Yeah I’m not 21 anymore. A guy looking in my direction and batting his eyes at me doesn’t make me instantly wet. Do the fucking dishes, rub my back, read a book to your son. Fucking disrespectful, lying, cheating, manipulative sack of shit. He said it was all a blur and he was just going to suppress it and live his life with me. SELFISH. To not even give me a choice? I just cant believe it. I didn’t want this life. Our son is barely 3 and now we’re just another statistic.
Just ranting. I have to internalize it because I have to share my son with this mother fucker. It’s a long, hard road ahead of me and I just needed to VENT.

EDIT: I cannot believe this massive amount of response, support, encouragement and validation. You are all L O V E L Y. I truly appreciate you during this time. I am amazed at this feedback. It has sincerely lifted my spirits and my head.

 

[katrina2017]

@lynnede Wow I am so angry for you. At least he was stupid enough to leave all his evidence easily accessible. Save it all, take pics on your phone, screenshot and send to yourself. Even if you're not ready to leave yet, document all of this and send it to a friend or better yet, make an inaccessible (by him) backup somewhere. For fucks sake this makes me so angry to read.

 

[lynnede]

@katrina2017 I did. I got everything I could though I was shaking and looking through watery eyes. I filed for divorce. I got child support, overnights post poned since he isn’t bonded to our son and doesn’t know how to raise him. I just want to scream at him and attack him honestly but my life isn’t all mine anymore. It’s mostly for my son now…life is just hard. I hate to sound dramatic but it’s traumatizing…

 

[katrina2017]

@lynnede No you don't sound dramatic literally at all. This is all super fucking shitty and no surprise it's traumatizing I'm glad you've been working towards a better life for yourself and your son. I truly believe things will get better. You are worth SO much more than what this person has done to your and your family. Like I don't know you but I think you will be ok and much better off.

 

[lynnede]

@katrina2017 Thank you. I just wish I could have made my son all by my fucking self. A good dad loves their mom and now he has disrupted my peace which affects my parenting, my whole life. I don’t want to be hateful but I’m waiting for that karma

 

[diamondkut]

@lynnede If he's this much of an asshole, do you really think he's going to be an involved father?

Of course you and your child deserve better, but him dipping out might be better than him being toxic.

 

[lynnede]

@diamondkut I feel like he will lose interest. Right now he is trying to get me back and he understands our son is the common link. However. We was supposed to visit him this weekend and already cancelled and I’m like HELL YEAH, 15 years to go
No like yeah I want him to fuck off but I don’t want my son to have issues. He better step up sometime and at least do the minimum for that baby.

 

[brokenheart16]

@lynnede The minimum only requires that he chip in some cash, if he doesn’t want to show up, that’s ok. You can do much better than this guy! Your son doesn’t need him in his life! Good for you for already filing for divorce!

 

[ntsuab]

@lynnede I know I'm late to this but I just want to stop you here and tell you these are the same fears I had! In time you may realize that it may affect your parenting in a good way, as in, you won't be affected by HIM anymore. I still have anxiety but it's way easier to manage now that I'm not walking on eggshells trying to please a man who can't be pleased. I hope for the best for you, I really do. You got this, bromo!

 

[lynnede]

@ntsuab You right on time. It feels similar to grief. I know these feelings now are part of the process but I know that I will eventually find peace trying to work with and around this asshole as a lover.

 

[ntsuab]

@lynnede Yes definitely grief. I couldn't get out of bed for a few months. I mean, I did because I had to feed, clothe, bathe and entertain my children. But it was HARD. I can't remember when it became less difficult but I know I no longer feel that way and I feel like a better mom. I hate to see other women like this. You don't deserve it

 

[lynnede]

@ntsuab It helps to hear from all of you and know I’m not alone

 

[katrina2017]

@lynnede I completely agree. Honestly may karma being to him what it will.

 

[steelebilly]

@lynnede Girl I wish this every day! I wish my kiddos could've just popped out without those dudes lol. I have more than one baby daddy & they're usually all on their bullshit at the same time. Shit sucks. And the hardest is sharing my kids with them, knowing I took care of those kids by myself & now that the parents aren't together, I have to trust these guys to do it half the dang time. I will say, it gets easier with time, but you do have to force yourself to trust them (If they aren't a true danger, abusive ect) and hope that your other parent steps up.
Its a hard pill to swallow but dad doesn't have to love mom to be a good dad. I hope for your kiddos sake, dad steps up eventually. Good luck momma. I know this shit is hard. He's a piece of shit for cheating but good for you for taking care of business and taking care of your baby.

 

[lynnede]

@steelebilly I think I’m being overly protective but right I did it by myself and now I have to trust this loser to do it. He isn’t physically abusive but he is an alcoholic so I don’t trust how much he pays attention. He feels like a stranger to me and I don’t know what he will and won’t do. My sons whole life my husband basically had supervised visits because I was around and he would call our son an asshole when he preferred me over him or like a fucking faggot if he had a toy or a thumb in his mouth. He just isn’t a good influence and it makes me sick to think I won’t be there to advocate

 

[katrina2017]

@lynnede My ex was abusive but also an alcoholic, as soon as my lawyer gave me the green light I set up life without him in his kid's life at all except for $100 month child support. Is he really going to put the effort in to be a good dad? Can you make it without him seeing your son often or at all? It's been great raising my oldest as the sole parent and you are clearly killing it over there while your ex is a grimy soon to be diseased alcoholic

 

[lynnede]

@katrina2017 I would LOVE to be sole parent. He’s okay. Like…I wouldn’t mind them having supervised visits I just don’t trust him for hours on end or overnight. I got overnights pushed back. I guess I’m feeling out the situation… I’m not sure…I don’t think he would psychically hurt him but idk who he would being around.

 

[shannonpate6]

@lynnede Can I just say that I’m so proud you filed for divorce.

I’m in my late 20’s the only child and everyday I am annoyed at my mom for not divorcing my dad. The amount of therapy you saved your son from is insane. Is being a single mum shitty yeah , it sucks.

But thank you for choosing you and modeling behavior for your child.

 

[lynnede]

@shannonpate6 We’re from the same boat. I remember being as young as 10 thinking like why don’t they just get a divorce? My parents finally divorced in my late twenties. “Staying together for the kids” is probably the most unhealthy choice.
Thank you for saying that. It helps me keep pushing through.

 

[shannonpate6]

@lynnede Well I’m nearly thirty and they’re still together.

I’m in hell, but there’s nothing I can do about it and it took a lot of therapy to stop seeing my dad as just an abuser but to also see my mother as an enabler because why is she still staying

I feel no empathy anymore , more like irritation.

You are doing a great job Mama , keep pushing .
Make a list of why he’s shitty
Anything but don’t go back !