My child has been bitten twice in the last 2 weeks at Pre-K

[judyw]

@alisonhansford Tell her to punch the other kid in the fucking face

 

[ruminator]

@alisonhansford It’s concerning that this child is singling out your daughter. The face bite alone, drawing blood and the location, would have been enough to get him kicked out of the school my son attends. You need to bring a lawyer to your next meeting amd scare some sense into these people. Insist that the other child’s parents be present. You are your child’s advocate. My mom did something similar when I was being bullied and abused at school and maltreatment immeediately stopped, the kids were placed in another class, and I finally got to be free from my tormentors.

 

[estherarriving]

@alisonhansford I know it’s not cool to hit a child but….

 

[tomyris]

@alisonhansford sure not what is expected, but you guys/gals need to get a life. You are talking about a 4 year old who is barely learning to control his/her emotions. 3 strikes and out? should it not be first strike and investigate thoroughly what is causing this behavior and teachers get to the bottom of it? You send your child to shit school with low teacher child ratio and then complain. And the people who are replying 3 strikes and out policy, it is this suppression of emotions and shaming a child which is leading to them growing into 'nice' youths this country is having now.

 

[alisonhansford]

@tomyris I understand that a toddler/child is still learning his or her emotions but that doesn't mean my kid shouldn't be safe or the problem shouldn't be addresses. Also it sounds to me like your saying because I send my kid to a public/district learning center that she doesn't deserve to be safe at school. Another point is the first time it happened we did investigate and there was supposed to be a plan in place to keep my child from being bitten again and that obviously isn't happening.

 

[tomyris]

@alisonhansford I am interested in knowing the conversation you had with your child after this incident. How can a child be bitten on the stomach! has the child not been taught to defend/ move out of difficult situations?

 

[brownies6]

@tomyris I worked with high aggressors in the special education system and home health for 3 years as a 1-1 aide.
The child needs help regulating and I hope he gets it.

As for OP- I can’t imagine the distress. As many have stated above, check and see if there are any plans to get the little one an aide. Also ask if the child has specific triggers. A biter can’t bite your child if there mouth is busy doing something else, a chewee, a snack, blowing bubbles. Etc.They could even have a specific item they bite when they feel triggered.
By advocating for both your LO and the biter you could transform two little lives

 

[royalrose]

@alisonhansford Oof, I'd be so pissed at this little shit. How does your daughter react? How does this kid just walk up to her and chomp on her tummy? I'd not only raise up the idea of a parent meeting with kids parents, but also teach your daughter to defend or bite back, so to speak. I know my kid would closeline this little shit if they tried that to her. Trust me, I was a picked on kid myself. Please teach your child agency

 

[rcarter]

@royalrose Obviously action is needed, but put yourself in the shoes of the biter’s parents for a moment. They could be desperately trying to stop this and working on getting him help. Maybe we don’t need to refer to any child as “this little shit.”

 

[katrina2017]

@royalrose I mean they need to defend but I don't think they should be biting back

 

[mossie]

@alisonhansford I have got a puppy and am expecting my first baby. I am here in this group/ sub, in order to feel prepared. I regularly get confused by reading r/puppy and r/toddler and r/newparents tags. Having been a multiple times dog moma, seems to be a good preparation. Although, of course, there is no crate training, harnesses, leashes and muzzles for toddlers. I am curious, does anybody know of the reasons for a toddler becoming a serious serial biter?

 

[jayama]

@alisonhansford Kids bite. Get over it

 

[mikeysavedbygrace]

@jayama Sure and other kids can learn how to fight back. If your 4 year old is biting, he’s got issues.

 

[madmaxdata]

@jayama Nah, kids that bite can get the fuck out. One time isn't grounds for different plan/placement or removal but anything after that is. And when kids bite it is almost NEVER a one off. I've never seen a one off in my, albeit short, 5 years of teaching preschool aged kids. And biters are usually pushers, pinchers, hitters, etc too.

I'm tired of these problem children being forced in with all the other children without a 1on1. It really waters down the enrichment, not to mention the other kids may be in constant fear of the biter.

 

[tomato777]

@madmaxdata We had a biter who attempted 10-15 times a day. It was EXHAUSTING as the teacher. We literally had to shadow him. It was impossible to prevent every single bite because you have ten other kids in your class and that kid was FAST. Our administration did NOTHING about it. “It’s just the age!” I was like “no, I leave the day sweaty and stressed and I’M the one to has to tell to the parents of the kids who get bitten. It was maddening. I left after only two months for unrelated reasons but my coteacher is still there and she says it hasn’t gotten better.

 

[kleio]

@tomato777 Ugh, did we work at the same place? 15 other kids to watch while having to shadow the bitter. Would bite with zero warning and administration said “figure it out” then we would get reprimanded when he would bite.

 

[tomato777]

@kleio Right?? No warning at all! I’d be like okay it’s safe for me to change a kid’s diaper and maybe the other teacher can do circle time? Nope! Suddenly he’d be latched onto a kid’s arm and circle time would be cancelled yet again.

And yeah, we’d be scolded for not doing circle time but I’d tell them that we would have to change 11 diapers OR do circle time because he couldn’t be left to his own devices for a second.

 

[madmaxdata]

@tomato777 Damn. I would have conspired with the parents to do something....

 

[richardsregis]

@jayama Not normally at that age.

 

[michalp]

@alisonhansford Cripes I’m sorry! No advice. But heck that would enrage me.