My child has been bitten twice in the last 2 weeks at Pre-K

@alisonhansford My daughter was a big biter between 1 and 2. As the parent of a biter, it's an incredibly helpless feeling. We were doing everything we knew to do to get her to stop biting other children at school. One daycare expelled her after one week without working with us on a plan at all. The new school we put her in is great. They had policy in place for various types of biting that resulted in her having to be sent home multiple times. However, this daycare implemented an observation and monitoring plan where they tracked her triggers, attempts and any situation where she bit.
After two weeks of doing this they discovered she bit when her space was being invaded or she was tired. They used this info to create a personalized behavioral plan. It included napping closer to the wall to give her some more space and sitting at the end of the table for meals and projects. The biggest factor was moving her to the class with older children and teaching her various signs to communicate when she became frustrated.
It was a rough process, tbh there were many times I wished one of the kids she bit would bite the shit out of her so she would get a taste of her own medicine. In the end it all worked out. She's 3 now and no longer bites. But as a momma of a biter, I felt terrible everytime I heard she chomped on a friend.
 
@fishtech Thank you for writing this. I can relate. My son is several days from turning one and is transitioning into the 1-2 year old classroom. It hasn’t gone well so far. He has had two incident reports in two days. On Friday, he crawled on top of another baby and busted their lip. On Monday, he bit the same baby :(. Apparently he likes crawling after her, so something about her catches his interest.

They said they won’t kick him out at this age because he doesn’t know any better yet (I think 3 might be where they draw the line), but we feel so helpless and bad for the other child. I’m also not sure I believe they won’t kick him out, and I’m unsure how much of this is just unreasonable anxiety.

Our son had stopped biting a few months ago, so we thought this was under control, but he started again this weekend out of nowhere. We say “No biting” when he bites at home, and it used to work. Now he has started biting when he is mad 🤦‍♀️

I really hope our daycare is able to do something like what your daycare did. Our son is the sweetest baby, he just doesn’t realize that he is hurting other babies.

That being said, related to this post, I’m shocked this is allowed for a 4/5 year old classroom. That is old enough to understand they are not allowed to bite.
 
@alisonhansford If it’s a pre k program through the school district the biter might be on an IEP. If it’s a behavior IEP there isn’t much to do other than the implementing the plan that’s put in place and the child might go into another placement that’s more appropriate after a ridiculous amount of data is collected. If there is another room or pre-k program I would ask for my child to be moved.
 
@lovejoyhope Yes, this is what I would do as well, as to be moved to a different classroom. It sounds like the biter is singling out OP’s child - I had a case like this in my public school preschool classroom. It SUCKS.
 
@madmaxdata I’m sure if your child was the biter you’d want to ensure they are in the most supportive, appropriate environment possible.

I’m throwing around a lot of if’s but if this child is on an IEP then data has to be collected that interventions have not worked.
If the student is not on and IEP then data needs to be collected so say they do.

Fortunately or unfortunately this is the risk you run in a public school environment. Kids can’t just be kicked out or moved willy nilly. I’m sure everyone is working very hard to ensure all students are being supported and provided for. As our kids get older and get into school we will all have to have these conversations with our kids, how to advocate for themselves, how to speak up if a classmate hurts them, how to speak to teachers and administrators if something happens.
 
@lovejoyhope So the other kids are the vulnerable lab rats in the problem child's experimental education?

Sounds like we should all be criticizing the school system rather than parents who don't want their children terrorized. (And that's not exaggeration, imagine how the kids feel)
 
@madmaxdata I’m a public school teacher and the way most pre k programs are run in public schools is to benefit the students in IEP or there are enough concerns that there should be one. The pre k setting allows for teachers, psychologists and therapists to see and work with the children to then decide if the child can go into gen ed, need a 1:1 or a specialized program. Students who are not on IEPs are accepted with the knowledge that their students will be in classes like this as “model students”. Again, this is the pre-k model in my state.

When schools shifted to inclusion based learning this is one of the things that happened. Before students with IEPs for anything would be in a class away from their gen ed peers. The would be labeled, stigmatized and not given a chance to prove they could be in a gen ed setting. Although the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction it was done with good intentions.

Let me give you an example- I have two students who are in IEPs for being on the autism spectrum. Before they would have been put in ILC with a 4:1 ratio, minimal academics and no interaction with gen ed peers. As we have collected and supported data on these students we saw one student thrived in gen ed and the other needed significantly more support. Although this is a very significant targeting, which is why I suggested OP ask for their child to be moved, if there as something that the team can implement to stop the bites and the child is otherwise successful in a gen ed classroom why stifle their process and success later on?

Again this is what now happens in public schools, love it or hate it, all students are at least given the opportunity to be in a general education setting.
 
@madmaxdata School social worker here. You obviously won't be able to get the details on this child but I would assume he is working closely with special education, support staff, and administration. It takes time to assess behavior and once a plan is in place they would need to implement the plan with fidelity for at least 6 weeks to see real change. I would ask administration what the staffing is in the room to make sure the child is monitored more closely and so staff can intervene prior to physical aggression. I know this is awful as a parent, in these situations it can be a really wonderful opportunity to build empathy. Young children are so forgiving and will look to the adults around them on how to respond. Make sure she knows this child's behavior is not acceptable but that the school is working with him to help him learn. This is hard and I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through it.
 
@abbimaee They know it’s him- today they said they can’t confirm who it was but last time it happened and I brought up the kid the teacher replied yes he has issues and we are working on it. We have already had one meeting but no biter kids parents. They won’t give us their information which I get- privacy. We have another meeting but I don’t imagine much is gonna get done.
The last meeting their plan was to supervise the kid and get him help.
 
@gospelofgracetv Yea I mean they are just kids but still, its your right to confront the parents. Ideally in a meeting with the school and perhaps a 3rd party of some kind. Especially for repeat incidents. At some point, the kids gotta go.

I teach ESL to preschool aged kids and some kids just do not belong with the others and need specialized help.

It genuinely makes me furious when the school looks the other way and the parents delude themselves into thinking their kid is perfect.
 
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