My 5yo won’t stay in his bed and I’m losing my mind

@daddylopez1963 I mean genuine question, but if your child is already in the habit of not opening the door and not wanting out, why lock your child in the room? At that point it seems unecessarily dangerous for an emergency; if something were to happen to you, your child can't call 911 and EMS can't get in if they're not authorized to break in the door.
 
@sifiso Well it isn’t really locked—it’s a doorknob cover on the inside. Same as we have on the furnace room door to make sure they don’t go in (but we easily can). EMS would have no difficulty getting in, although I’m having a hard time thinking of a scenario where we are unavailable, EMS is in our home and trying to get to him and they wouldn’t just…turn the doorknob?

Admittedly my 4yo probably does not know how to use our phones to call 911 anyway (do other peoples preschoolers know this? Probably time to start addressing this anyway, good reminder!).

To your point we are getting close to probably just removing it since his habit is in place. It began when he was 3yo and less able to comprehend and follow the rules. As he gets older it’s less necessary.
 
@daddylopez1963 That makes sense! And yeah it might be a good idea for OP then. I guess its the word "locked" that sounded alarming, "covered" sounds less dramatic. I realized that your comment is going crazy with upvotes and down votes, so I gave you an upvote.
 
@daddylopez1963 Yeah, I think implementing this now would make me sad. He’s old enough to be like wait, what? Mom’s locking me out? I can just imagine him sobbing at the door (although I think he’d be able to figure out how to open it).

My sister in law has one of those on her 3yo’s door and it definitely works for them. I think I would’ve just needed to implement it sooner.
 
@liz555 If he's just looking to sleep with you, then maybe that's simply what your child needs right now and it's better to give him a spot then to deal with all the crying.

But yeah if it's just to be loud and annoying, then yeah, that's terrible:/ until it resolves, get someone to take the kids so you can just take worry-free naps by yourself as a stop-gap measure.
 
@liz555 I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I have a 13 and 15 year old and at least once a week one of these giants is in my room at 2am trying to squeeze between me and my husband in the bed, waking me in the process.

It sounds like your kiddo just needs extra reassurance and your presence gives them that. Maybe try a weighted blanket? I also like the a mattress on the floor trick some other users mentioned. Best of luck
 
@liz555 Does he have a yoto or toniebox? When our kiddo transitioned to her own bed, that was a key part. She stayed in bed when she got up because she had entertainment she controlled
 
@liz555 One of my twins slept through the night basically from the day they came home from the hospital. Around age 4 they went through a spurt where woke up in the middle of the night and wanted me to sleep with them. My working mom guilt got to me and I would hop in bed with them. Sometimes they would want to chat but most of the time they just wanted cuddles and a back scratch. They went through another stretch a few years later where they wanted the same thing. Their worse sleeping sibling had a stretch in elementary school where they wanted the same thing.
 
@liz555 My son is 4.5, was never a great sleeper and now comes to my room like every single night to tell me he went potty and asking if he needs to flush the toilet 😆

I just say no, pull him into bed, and he falls back asleep

Will he sleep in your bed with you? Or is he expecting you to stay up and play?

Sometimes I let my son watch his tablet in my bed (on weekends only) and I put in ear plugs and sleep an extra hour or so
 
@metalgreymon Mine is fresh out of night time pull ups so he will sometimes wake me up to tell me he has to pee (which is amazing, I thought we’d never reach the day), but also- he can’t self soothe, so after he’s done with the bathroom he wants me to cuddle him to sleep. I usually just bring him to my bed or else I’ll end up falling asleep in his.

If he comes in our room when it’s still dark out, he’ll go back to sleep. If he comes in in the 5 o clock hour, he’s usually up for the day.
 
@liz555 Yeah it seems pretty age appropriate from what I’ve read in other subs and stuff

Sometimes I’ve told my son that he can come sleep w me in my bed but he has to lay very straight and still so as to not kick me while he’s sleeping 😆 otherwise he has to sleep in his bed

So he’s learned to sleep a bit better after being reminded of that several times
 
@liz555 A few things, check his schedule. Sleep needs may have changed and he may need more wake time before bed. From what you shared he maybe undertired. I would also put a child lock on his door, unless he’s fully night trained there is no reason to leave his room. Last, use a reward chart. He earns stars by staying in his room, X amount of stars equals a prize.

I went through something similar with my child. Between the child lock and firm boundaries we didn’t have anymore issues.
 
@liz555 My boy twin got in the habit of coming into our room and in our sleep deprived haze we’d let him stay. But then he learned that was fine.

So do not let him stay. Back to bed every single time. No getting out of bed until that light changes color. I wouldn’t make it treat related because you don’t get a treat for following the other rules of the house, right?

But it’s hard! I know that feeling. Hang in there and stay strong against that urge to give in!
 
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