My 5 1/2 Week Old Won’t Sleep Unless We Hold Him

[tchop561]

Also, this is my second and I enjoy my motherhood more with her, I know she’ll never be this tiny again and most probably she’s my last newborn(I’m leaving an open door to adoption if we want more kids). And I already know I survived with my first, so I will survive this baby too. This phase won’t last forever and you’ll find your way to have fun with your kid.

It’s like you’re dying on the workout and promise yourself to never do this again, and then the endorphins come and you start thinking it wasn’t that bad. It’s like that in the parenthood, sometimes you’re exhausted, sometimes you’re full of joy and happiness. Sometimes both at the same time.

 

[fortress]

@testallthings Babies crave the closeness of their caregivers, it's in their instinct to survive and it has a lot of benefits for both ,immunity boost, emotional development etc.

Hold him while you can, they grow up so fast..

I remover having held mine like that, the toilet was a distant memory at those times

 

[katrina2017]

@testallthings I’m 2 and half weeks in and we’ve already hit this - bubba will only sleep on us and we gave up and just take turns wearing/lying with her, but she does mostly sleep through the night and that helps. She sleeps in the bassinet when we take her out during the day too. She’s reflux-y so we have to hold her up for half an hour too so it makes it worse, because she gets so settled on us she’s upset if she wakes up in her cot. I have no suggestions but solidarity! I definitely couldn’t imagine doing this more than once either.

 

[theoldline]

@testallthings Baby wear

 

[openhearted]

@testallthings Fellow dad here! My LO is now 4 months old and I definitely remember that stage! I definitely recommend taking your baby for short walks in the stroller. Something about the fresh air just knocks them out lol. It's a little tiring but if you're anything like me, I for sure needed some exercise after paternity leave helps break the cycle of being home all day. I used that time to start reading too. We don't want to rely on TV to distract him when gets older so it's a nice hobby to get into prior to that age. Good luck and congratulations!

 

[testallthings]

@openhearted Funny you say that cause today was one of the first time he actually relaxed outside. Hoping to keep it up. My problem with reading is it knocks me out. Although that may be because I’m always reading comp sci books haha. I’d love to figure out a way to free up both hands so I can program… for now, it’s the Office: Directors Cut

 

[openhearted]

@testallthings What I did was try to wedge a small pillow between him and my arm when I sat on the couch, usually a decor pillow. My little guy naturally runs really warm, so it also helped keep him from sweating all over me while I carried him. Once he was in deep hibernation, it was a little easier to rest that pillow between the arm rest of our couch and me creating a sort of tiny bed for him. Helped free up 2 hands but my lap was still being used.

 

[smithclaire]

@testallthings I know it’s hard. I remember how desperately exhausted I was in those times.

I just carried my 3 year old to bed after she fell asleep in the backyard swing. I held her to my chest for a solid 15 minutes because I couldn’t remember the last time she slept in my arms. This independent big kid puts her to sleep every night now, today being a rare exception.

I miss those newborn contact naps. I know it’s so hard, but I hope you can find some of the time to savor it. It goes by so fast.

 

[rissasallwrite]

@testallthings Mate, my daughter was exactly the same from about 5-8 weeks. It does get better, but it takes a minute to get there. If the advice you have gotten so far (all good and achievable solutions) doesnt help as it didnt for me (the carrier worked for my nieces though), the best advice I can offer is maybe think about it being the first of many times he will need you. I know it is easier said than done when sleep deprived.

He is not going to be this small for very long and isn't always going to need to be in your arms to sleep. It may be boring now, but these are going to be incredibly fond memories for you. The fact that you are still doing it says he is in good hands. Keep it up mate. This phase doesn't last forever.

 

[cornopean]

@testallthings I got so sick of TV and phone. I started reading and was tearing through books like crazy. We exclusively contact napped until baby was five months old and I was able to nap train her to fall asleep in her crib with some assistance from me.

 

[ithinktheyranoutofnames]

@testallthings I’m sorry but I laughed so hard reading your post I can relate 100%. My husband and I been watching selling sunset a million of times holding my son all his nap time because the moment we put him down, he wakes, like a robot he catnap so we hold about 1hr each time (rocking to sleep 30mins, catnap 30 mins).
I don’t have any trick for day time, but at night time, I rock mine to sleep for about 30 mins, then I gently lay down with him in my arms, gently remove my arm around his neck, my husband turns off the light, and we all sleep. I know risk of SIDS, but co-sleep is the only way out. If you don’t mind co-sleeping, try it out. My son sleeps from 8pm-4am then wake for feed, then sleeps again until 8am. Then the catnaps begin.

I still need to figure out how to not rock him to sleep as he’s getting heavier. My arm dies every time

Good luck!

 

[testallthings]

@ithinktheyranoutofnames Ha yup. I value your laughs and to hear your experience.

The only time we co-sleep is if the other agrees to stay up and watch him. He’ll sleep in his bassinet at night until (of course) my shift that begins at 4am. When I say sleep I really mean a few hours of sounds that sound like a mogwai transitioning into a gremlin. Then we are super lucky if we wake up and catch his feeding cues before he turns into a full on screaming gremlin. Prob saves us an hour if we are lucky enough.

I’ve just started to incorporate baby curls, stairs and tummy time curls into a workout routine now. Getting ready for the next 1lb. LO has been gaining avg 1.9oz a day for the last 2 weeks.

 

[thehunted]

@testallthings This is the separation anxiety phase, it should pass in a week or two. This is why I'm r/oneanddone. I could not imagine doing this with another kid running around. It's hard enough to get any time for my cat and all he wants to do is sit with momma.

 

[testallthings]

@thehunted I thought that was at a later date

 

[gaconvn]

@testallthings It is. What you're experiencing is normal newborn stuff, not separation anxiety.

 

[thehunted]

@testallthings Sorry my daughter is running through every phase a whole week early.

 

[katrina2017]

@testallthings We had the same issue but it got better. Here's how I did it:
-take baby out during the day for some day light every day.
-baby sleeping bag
-room is pitch black at night with white noise coming from a machine bought on AZ
-i change him, feed him in his sleeping bag, burp him then place him drowsy but awake in his cot
-make sure his bum you the mattress first, then his head
-keep your hand on his chest then head for a few seconds, also lower yourself as you place baby in his bed to keep your body against his until last minute
-he will cry or grunt but it's baby learning to settle and soothe himself

it can be unsettling to hear baby cry at first but if all his needs are met, then you're not hurting them

also adapt what I wrote to your own baby, keep trying different things but try them for a few days or you won't know if they work. for example I wanted to give up after the 3rd night because i thought it wasn't working, thankfully my partner is more patient than I am and made me keep going until baby got used to our new routine. find what works for your baby but don't give up early.

day naps are still taking in our arms or slings for now but I'm testing a nesting pod and it's getting better (I want to differentiate naps from night sleeps)​

 

[testallthings]

@katrina2017 Baby outside
Room is dark red
White noise
Swaddle not a bag yet (gonna need one cause it snows 300+” a year here)
Need to try out your setting down method
Grunts like a baby dinosaur trying to escape a prehistoric Venus fly trap

 

[newnature]

@testallthings Laughing at this just woke up my 6 week old baby dinosaur who will only nap on top of me. Dammit!

 

[girdyourloins]

@testallthings This might not work because I didn’t think it would for us but it did. We swaddled her and put her down in the bassinet. Start off for 5 minutes here and there when their chill, then when they’re drifting off to sleep. They’re going to wake up and cry but just let them for five minutes. Then gradually go up (I don’t think we ever went past 7 minutes) and eventually they’ll get used to it. At 5 weeks though they’re new to everything and honestly just want to be close to something comforting, so if nothing else at least know your baby is comfortable and feels at peace when in your arms.